# Moving out of state **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2018, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864 "2018-03-02T01:22:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/21 "2018-03-02T19:31:23Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Echoing **Dinsdale** a bit - your chance of success depends largely on whether you are running _from_ something or _to_ something. What makes you think you can “find yourself” in another location? If you don’t have the gumption (Texas word!) to find yourself where you are, it ain’t likely to happen somewhere else - barring extraordinary circumstances where you are. > > My advice is to man (or woman) up, face momma as an adult and “find yourself” where you are. if you can do that, you can succeed anywhere. If you can’t, then you’re just running away. I don’t agree. I think getting away from parents and your old town is important to growing up. You can go back afterwards, but getting away and developing a self sufficient lifestyle in a new city is important. A lot of people get this experience from college or the military, but it helps you grow and evolve. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/22 "2018-03-02T20:17:06Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I don’t agree. I think getting away from parents and your old town is important to **growing up**. You can go back afterwards, but getting away and **developing a self sufficient lifestyle** in a new city is important. A lot of people get this experience from college or the military, but it helps you **grow and evolve.** Which of these do you believe are interchangeable with “finding one’s self?” Because it is possible for someone to go halfway around the world, and still find the same asshole staring back at them out of the mirror. ---
**Author:** ![sbunny8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@sbunny8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sbunny8)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/23 "2018-03-02T22:07:04Z")
I moved to Florida when I was 23. I imagined myself getting a fun job near the beach. I ended up living in an RV forty miles inland, struggling to find work. I worked lots of part-time jobs, barely paid my rent, had to borrow money for groceries. Also, I found it was hard to make friends in Florida. Half the people you meet will be gone in six months. The other half think YOU might be gone in six months. I suggest you get a full-time job before you move. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/24 "2018-03-02T22:57:23Z")
Well, I never left to find myself. I had 7 sibs who all left. None is any happier for the act of leaving. They are happy or sad for all kinds of reasons. I still say leave. Make your preparations, gather you stuff, kiss Mom and go. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/25 "2018-03-02T23:13:35Z")
I won’t say you need to move to a different state (other than the fact _you’re in Texas_), but at the very least you need to be both out of your parents’ house and far enough away that they neither drop by more than once a week, nor expect you to drop by their place more than once a week. I’ve achieved that by (after spending a year out of state) moving fifteen minutes away from them, but depending on the clinginess of the parents more distance might be required. Perhaps across town. Perhaps a different state. Or country, or continent, or planet. But in any case you need to get at least a certain minimal amount of separation in order to be able to live your own life without the obligations and dependencies one develops from constant contact (or, heaven forbid, living in their house). ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/26 "2018-03-03T01:21:53Z")
> [@Azu20](#): > > I’m thinking about moving to FL I think that’s where I might find myself… Whoa. Hang on a minute, be reasonable about this. Think - where did you last see yourself? That’s where I’d start looking. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/27 "2018-03-03T03:33:50Z")
This’ll sound weird, but check the refrigerator. ---
**Author:** ![X.L.Lent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a5b964/32.png) [@X.L.Lent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X.L.Lent)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/28 "2018-03-03T05:41:18Z")
Go ahead and do it. Just make sure you have the resources to make the move - money, job skills or what ever else you might need. Don’t just run out without doing some planning. If you don’t like the place you have moved to you can move somewhere else or go back home. The first step is often the hardest. Get your things together, do some careful planning and make that first step. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/29 "2018-03-03T06:27:06Z")
Before you move, practice hard on your punctuation skills. Being lazy at this, at age 24, will not get you very far in the real world. You know, outside of Texas. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/30 "2018-03-03T07:17:48Z")
IDK, maybe he’s a poet. I hope he doesn’t expect to eat or pay rent if he his, but still. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/31 "2018-03-03T07:56:10Z")
I grew up in Texas. I spent 24 horrible years in Texas. You can’t do much worse than Texas. Unless maybe it’s Oklahoma. Run, don’t walk, out of that state. ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864/32 "2018-03-03T13:12:08Z")
If you happen to be living with your mother at 24 YO, by all means, move out. If you live nearby and she is still smothering you, move away. Just remember that she will always be a phone call away unless you stop answering it. As far as finding yourself, that’s more of a mental than physical thing. I doubt that moving out of Texas alone is going to help. If you really want to find yourself, join the military. Of course you might find yourself in some very strange places. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moving-out-of-state/809864.md?page=1)