# Mr. Awkward Awkwards Again **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 26, 2013, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846 "2013-11-26T18:14:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/41 "2013-11-27T16:32:00Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > I wish my life was troubled with people offering me food. If this kind of social interaction is adding to rage-quit then the op should be forewarned that it will also lead to being ostracized by others. People will recognize your facial expression and mannerisms of disdain. I won’t say I _wish_ it, but I can’t relate either. I’m amazed how many Dopers seem to have people trying to force unwanted things on them all the time. I don’t know if I’m just incredibly fortunate, but in my world nobody does that shit. If someone offered me food at work and I said “no thanks,” that would be the end of it. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/42 "2013-11-27T16:32:30Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > Usually, making a pushy person like that go away is a feature, not a bug. I’m not sure why you’re waving ostracization around as something vaguely threatening. Why should I or anyone else care that someone I don’t like much doesn’t like me either? > > Office politics be damned every so often. Everyone gets a bad day sometimes. The op is not describing a bad day using terms like “rage-quit”. The description is a bad career. Burning bridges over offers of food is certainly an option but it’s one with fewer bridges at the end of the day. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/43 "2013-11-27T16:36:41Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I won’t say I _wish_ it, but I can’t relate either. I’m amazed how many Dopers seem to have people trying to force unwanted things on them all the time. I don’t know if I’m just incredibly fortunate, but in my world nobody does that shit. If someone offered me food at work and I said “no thanks,” that would be the end of it. If it happened to me I wouldn’t remember it as stated by the op. I’m sure someone has done something like this to me from time to time but I would not have seen it as a minus but as a plus. Somebody cares enough about me to invite me to eat at a gathering I didn’t participate in and was overly insistent I got some of the food. The horror. Well I’m just going to quit my job so I can eat my favorite turnips under a bridge in peace. ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/44 "2013-11-27T16:37:19Z")
This is why introverts generally try to avoid people. I know, because I’m one of them. An socially graceful person might have said, “You know, I really appreciate what you’re doing, but the work thing has been kind of stressful lately, and years ago I spent a some time in Japan, and even though this doesn’t look like much, I was looking forward to eating it, because it reminds me of that time, and I was looking forward to remembering it.” ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/45 "2013-11-27T16:41:46Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Indeed. Me too but I’m going to keep it bottled up until Festivus. > [@LinusK](#): > > This is why introverts generally try to avoid people. I know, because I’m one of them. I’m an introvert. But I chose to pick professions where that isn’t possible. So I adapted. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/46 "2013-11-27T16:45:35Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > This is why introverts generally try to avoid people. I know, because I’m one of them. > > An socially graceful person might have said, “You know, I really appreciate what you’re doing, but the work thing has been kind of stressful lately, and years ago I spent a some time in Japan, and even though this doesn’t look like much, I was looking forward to eating it, because it reminds me of that time, and I was looking forward to remembering it.” I’m introverted to the max, but I think this is an overly dramatic thing to say. It’s the kind of thing that people would say in an mocking imitation of an introvert. A socially graceful person would say, “No, really. I’m fine. But I will make a plate if I get hungry later on. Thanks!” And then they’d walk away before they can be bothered anymore. Not only is a pushy person not entitled to an explanation like this, it gives a silly conversation more gravitas than is warranted. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/47 "2013-11-27T16:50:01Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > This is why introverts generally try to avoid people. I know, because I’m one of them. > > An socially graceful person might have said, “You know, I really appreciate what you’re doing, but the work thing has been kind of stressful lately, and years ago I spent a some time in Japan, and even though this doesn’t look like much, I was looking forward to eating it, because it reminds me of that time, and I was looking forward to remembering it.” This would be a good approach. I’d call it an internet teaching moment. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/48 "2013-11-27T16:50:06Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I won’t say I _wish_ it, but I can’t relate either. I’m amazed how many Dopers seem to have people trying to force unwanted things on them all the time. I don’t know if I’m just incredibly fortunate, but in my world nobody does that shit. If someone offered me food at work and I said “no thanks,” that would be the end of it. I guess it’s natural that people that have trouble with in-person social interaction would gravitate to this type of forum. Probably their social anxiety causes others to treat them differently and think they need extra urging to take a plate of food. “Mr. Awkward is probably too shy to help himself to some food or thinks he should skip it because he didn’t bring anything. I’d better reiterate that he’s welcome to food because otherwise he will just sit there eating that crap and this good food will go to waste” is the likely thought process. Oh, the horror. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/49 "2013-11-27T16:55:19Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Not only is a pushy person not entitled to an explanation like this, it gives a silly conversation more gravitas than is warranted. It’s warranted if this is how a person interacts with others and is threatening “rage-quit”. It doesn’t serve a person to burn bridges over offers of food. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/50 "2013-11-27T16:57:48Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > If it happened to me I wouldn’t remember it as stated by the op. I’m sure someone has done something like this to me from time to time but I would not have seen it as a minus but as a plus. Somebody cares enough about me to invite me to eat at a gathering I didn’t participate in and was overly insistent I got some of the food. The horror. Well I’m just going to quit my job so I can eat my favorite turnips under a bridge in peace. Ragequitting may or may not have been literal. You’re interpreting it as much more literal quitting than I am - who knows which Frylock meant now? Also, if someone gets sour grapes over me getting repeatedly less polite over a mundane offer of food, to the point of it completely “burning a bridge” in their eyes…well I’m not sure I’m the one that’s over-reacting. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/51 "2013-11-27T17:05:04Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > It’s warranted if this is how a person interacts with others and is threatening “rage-quit”. It doesn’t serve a person to burn bridges over offers of food. If I heard someone launch into a soliloquy like **LinusK’s** , I’d be more annoyed with them than the pushy coworker. I’d be like, “Dude, are you seriously about to cry over some fucking noodles? Get the fuck over yourself!!” ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/52 "2013-11-27T17:15:03Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > Ragequitting may or may not have been literal. You’re interpreting it as much more literal quitting than I am - who knows which Frylock meant now? > > Also, if someone gets sour grapes over me getting repeatedly less polite over a mundane offer of food, to the point of it completely “burning a bridge” in their eyes…well I’m not sure I’m the one that’s over-reacting. I understand your point of view but think matches and not torches. I’ve watched people alienate every single person in a work environment until the people around them actively move to get them relocated. There are all kinds of things I don’t like at work and a lot of them are small but planting a flag is always the worst thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/53 "2013-11-27T18:33:51Z")
At least she didn’t [ask you to dance.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=700871&highlight=dance) mmm ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/54 "2013-11-27T20:05:42Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > The op is not describing a bad day using terms like “rage-quit”. The description is a bad career. The wording of the OP is sufficient to falsify what you just said. I’ll leave it to you to re-read if you wish. ---
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/55 "2013-11-27T22:23:14Z")
Upon seeing your replies to your thread, I’d have to say, yup, your thread title is entirely apt. Mr. Awkward, indeed. Plenty of people have given meaningful suggestions on how to avoid being a social retard in the future but you seem to be zeroing in on one particular point. I don’t think it’s skin off anyone’s back here; you’re the one dealing with unnecessary discomfort. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/56 "2013-11-28T02:23:41Z")
> [@Grapefruit](#): > > Plenty of people have given meaningful suggestions on how to avoid being a social retard in the future but you seem to be zeroing in on one particular point. I asked whether she was rude for insisting or I was rude for refusing. Plenty of people answered that question. I replied to some of them. Other people answered other questions that I didn’t ask. I replied to them in various ways, if at all, generally with a view towards returning discussion to the questions that I asked. Basically, I am not sure what you are talking about, with your language of “zeroing in on one point.” So far as I know, I have replied to people on several issues, not on any particular single point. In each case my intention was to focus on what seemed most relevant and informative for that poster’s purpose. If you are interested in elaborating on your argument, I’m interested in discussing it. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/57 "2013-11-28T02:30:44Z")
I just re-read the thread. **Grapefruit** , I am certain that if you read it carefully, you will see that the impression you formed isn’t based in facts.\* Again: If you’re interested in doing that, and then elaborating on your argument, I am happy to go as far as you’re willing in discussing whether your impressions are responsive to the facts or not. \*Another possibility is that you’ve failed to describe your impression adequately, which I’m also happy to discuss. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/58 "2013-11-28T02:33:53Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > This is why introverts generally try to avoid people. I know, because I’m one of them. > > An socially graceful person might have said, “You know, I really appreciate what you’re doing, but the work thing has been kind of stressful lately, and years ago I spent a some time in Japan, and even though this doesn’t look like much, I was looking forward to eating it, because it reminds me of that time, and I was looking forward to remembering it.” Way too much drama. Don’t JADE. At the repeated invitation, you should have just graciously said “thank you, that’s very kind” then proceeded to fix your meal and do your thing. I seriously doubt she was going to police your lunch. As far as crashing the party, if it was in the break room, you had little choice. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/59 "2013-11-28T02:36:24Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Way too much drama. Don’t JADE. > > At the repeated invitation, you should have just graciously said “thank you, that’s very kind” then proceeded to fix your meal and do your thing. I seriously doubt she was going to police your lunch. Isn’t that what she did, though, as I described it? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846/60 "2013-11-28T04:01:00Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > If I heard someone launch into a soliloquy like **LinusK’s** , I’d be more annoyed with them than the pushy coworker. I’d be like, “Dude, are you seriously about to cry over some fucking noodles? Get the fuck over yourself!!” Well it was a bit wordy and I don’t think he/she would have gone to such an extent but the idea behind it was valid. If I truly couldn’t get through the day without eating my beloved fill-in-the-blank I would be gracious about it. “Thanks but I’ve been drooling over my lunch all morning, I appreciate the offer. You want to try some? It will be ready in 2 minutes.” This is a common technique to steer a conversation by making a declarative statement of intent with a gracious ending. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-awkward-awkwards-again/674846.md?page=4)