# "Mr. Brain's Faggots" Leave Me . . . Speechless **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245 "2003-04-26T02:46:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/1 "2003-04-26T02:46:56Z")
In another thread, about oddly named companies, **yojimbo** posted a link to [Mr. Brain’s Faggots](http://www.mrbrainsfaggots.com/), apparently an _actual Irish food company_. I have forwarded this to several gay friends, who have all injured themselves laughing, I might add. Upon learning that “more than 10 million faggots are eaten every day in the UK,” my friend Terry is applying for a green card. It, ummm, seems to be . . . for real? Have I been whooshed? Any Oirish Dopers who can verify that this is an actual foodstuff?! And what’s with the knowing grin on Young Master Doody’s face? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/2 "2003-04-26T02:55:06Z")
IAN Irish but IA English so I can add input, I think. It doesn’t surprise me that ‘faggot’ is a foodstuff. In the UK the word ‘fag’ is most commonly used to mean ‘cigarette’ and is only known as a (disrespectful) word for gay people because of America’s media influence over here. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/3 "2003-04-26T02:57:27Z")
I am sick of my username! I just decided. Sorry for the hijack. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/4 "2003-04-26T03:01:47Z")
It’s gen-yew-wine. Can’t recall eating said faggot ma’self but I assume it’s just a meatball type product. Very popular in supermarket freezer departments so the public must lap ‘em up. I believe the instructions on the packs say that (before digesting) you need to languidly fellate them for thirty minutes at room temperature. ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/5 "2003-04-26T03:15:22Z")
Growing up on British food was bad, but at least I can thank my parents for not feeding me “Mr. Brain’s Faggots.” ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/6 "2003-04-26T03:22:49Z")
Now that you mention it **LunaSea** growing up on British food _was_ bad! Liver, sprouts, carrots, steak that was impossible to chew up, Steak and Kidney pie, dry beef. The list would be longer if it wasn’t for the fact that I ate all that stuff as a kid (or rather claimed to have eaten it, but actually hid it in the nearest convenient crevice, such as the plant pot, or the dog) Thank heaven for Junk food and a paycheck. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/7 "2003-04-26T03:27:15Z")
Dear Lord. A pop-up asked me if I wanted to “Win an Authentic Mr. Brain’s Faggots Knees-Up!” _dies_ ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/8 "2003-04-26T03:32:00Z")
You what’s even sadder, **Lobsang**? That they kept feeding me this stuff even _after_ we emigrated to America. So, so cruel. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/9 "2003-04-26T03:32:35Z")
Oh please yes! It gets better and better!!! The motto: “How many can you handle?” And best of all (you will shit yourselves, I swear:) [Faggot Family](http://www.mrbrainsfaggots.com/faggot_family.htm). Boldface mine. > [@](#): > > The **Doody** family [note from **matt\_mcl** : I am not making this up, I swear to _God_] – true faggot fanatics – are the family recently chosen in a nationwide search to find a family to represent Mr Brain’s Faggots. Rather than create a fictional family, Mr Brain’s search was for ‘real faces’ - an ordinary family who loves and eats faggots on a regular basis. Mr. Brain’s wanted real people with real lives to be at the heart of the campaign. The essential ingredient? Each member of the family must be fanatical about faggots. > > Hundreds of families entered the nationwide search, resulting in a nail-biting final. The Doody family from Dudley, Wolverhampton **beat off stiff competition** [note from **matt\_mcl** : **gasping, inclement death**] to take their place as The Faces of Mr Brain’s Faggots. Frederick, Janet, Lewis, and Grace demonstrated absolute fanaticism for faggots as they took part in creating a Mr. Brain’s Faggots commercial, role-plays and quizzes. And each member of the family has their “favourite faggot” listed. . . . . I’m sorry, I have to lie down for a little while. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/10 "2003-04-26T03:34:39Z")
This will be the death of me. > [@](#): > > The first ever National Faggot Week starts on the 26th January ! Seven days of nationwide faggot promotions, competitions and sampling. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/11 "2003-04-26T03:50:23Z")
…and that _picture_ right under the motto! There needs to be a weeping with mirth smilie. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/12 "2003-04-26T04:04:23Z")
Well, **Eve** , you know what they say about the Brits!.. (I’d tell you, but it seems that Showtime has got it trademarked – something about this TV show they used it for the title of!) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Papermache\_Prince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@Papermache\_Prince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Papermache_Prince)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/13 "2003-04-26T04:06:14Z")
. . . and [commercials](http://www.mrbrainsfaggots.com/news.htm) in Quicktime. > [@](#): > > Once tasted, you’ll wish you tried them years ago. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/14 "2003-04-26T05:26:12Z")
Hey! They want you to send in pictures of you eating a faggot! Don’t be shy to eat them in public! ---
**Author:** ![Sigmundex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19adc/32.png) [@Sigmundex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmundex)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/15 "2003-04-26T07:34:11Z")
Good Lord. I was fine until I started reading the Faggot Recipes. Even until I got to the Faggot Cobbler (not a shoemaker, mind you). It requires 6 Mr Brains Faggots in Rich Sauce 8 oz (200g) Self Rising Flour Okay, that’s as far as I got. I’m dying now. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/16 "2003-04-26T07:42:12Z")
Yes, as others have said, the things are real. I never saw them until I was living in either England or Wales (can’t remember which), but yes, they exist. Yes, sort of meatball sort of thing, I think. Oddly enough it was the fact of them being made by a so-called “Mr Brains” that made me uncomfortable too. Oooh - can I mention the Turkish take-away food shop that purported to sell " **Donner** kebabs? ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/17 "2003-04-26T07:42:32Z")
And nobody has made the obvious joke, that they’re PORK Faggots? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/18 "2003-04-26T07:50:26Z")
I go to my local supermarket almost every day (because I live just round the corner). Today I saw them for the first time (wonder why?) - ‘Faggots in rich gravy’ ---
**Author:** ![Cavalier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/97f17d/32.png) [@Cavalier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cavalier)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/19 "2003-04-26T08:11:05Z")
I’ve heard of faggots, but I’ve never seen one. I’ve been told they’re just like round sausages with low quality meat, but I’ve never actually come across one. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/20 "2003-04-26T08:15:01Z")
My dad eats Mr Brain’s Faggots. _sigh_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245.md?page=2)