# "Mr. Brain's Faggots" Leave Me . . . Speechless

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 26, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245 "2003-04-26T02:46:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/21 "2003-04-26T08:17:31Z")

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It now occurs to me that the _only_ “faggots” I have seen are those of Mr. Brain. Did he patent the recipe, or what?

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**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/22 "2003-04-26T09:55:53Z")

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I gotta tell _YOU KNOW WHO_ here in Topeka about these things! maybe it would give him a final apoplectic fit!

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**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/23 "2003-04-26T10:57:09Z")

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What is this faggot+brain connection? I have mentioned earlier that a friends address was “Faggot Yard, Braintree” in England.

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**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/24 "2003-04-26T11:21:51Z")

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I remember seeing, many years ago, I believe it was in National Lampoon’s weird photos section (though I’m not sure), but it was a magazine ad with the slogan “Faggots? What a saucy idea!”

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**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/25 "2003-04-26T11:36:46Z")

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Mmmmm, faggots with onion gravy, yep, they are for real; soft meatballs made from offal - traditionally liver and lights(lungs) - sounds yucky, I know, but they are truly delicious - _Mr Brain’s_\* being the leading brand - they don’t actually contain brains, they are named after a Mr Brain (who may or may not be a real person).

I imagine the American reaction to (UK)‘Faggots’ is qualitatively similar to the UK reaction to (USA)‘Fanny Pack’ (‘fanny’ being a UK colloquialism for the female genitalia).

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**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/26 "2003-04-26T12:41:48Z")

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Oh dear lord.

I’m dyin’ over here.

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**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/27 "2003-04-26T13:18:05Z")

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OK, I am off to the Shop Rite, and I am bound and determined to bring a faggot home with me! There I’ll be in the Customer Service aisle, shouting, “What do you _mean_ you have no faggots here? What the hell kind of grocery store has no faggots? Dammit, I need to eat a faggot _right now!_”

–Eve [half horrified and offended; half laughing her mascara off]

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**Author:** ![blue\_poop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@blue\_poop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blue_poop)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/28 "2003-04-26T13:30:54Z")

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I was in ASDA last night and saw Mr Brains pork faggots in the Freezers 😃 I couldn’t help but laugh!

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**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/29 "2003-04-26T13:54:22Z")

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Back in the Good Old Days when Marks and Spencer was still in business in Canada, you could by Marks and Sparks own brand faggots. Dunno if you can get them anywhere in the States, though.

When I first moved to England I was really confused by the difference between “fags” (i.e. cigarettes) and “faggots” (pork sausages). I couldn’t figure out why people wanted to eat their ciggies in rich gravy.

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**Author:** ![Potter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Potter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Potter)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/30 "2003-04-26T14:27:00Z")

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I think I have something in common with Janet:

> [@](#):
>
> Favourite Faggot: On their own, as a snack.

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**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/31 "2003-04-26T15:19:09Z")

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Oh, dear God. There is Faggot News? I can hardly wait to see what that entails.

Robin

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**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/32 "2003-04-26T15:29:58Z")

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probably entails entrails ☹

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**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/33 "2003-04-26T16:10:24Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Duke \*  
> \*\*Back in the Good Old Days when Marks and Spencer was still in business in Canada, you could by Marks and Sparks own brand faggots. Dunno if you can get them anywhere in the States, though. \*\*

There’s pretty good chance they’d change the name for the US version, I’ll wager.

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**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/34 "2003-04-26T16:29:04Z")

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[http://www.fag.de](http://www.fag.de)

Not nearly as amusing, but these guys seem to think fags _are_ balls of steel.

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**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/35 "2003-04-26T16:31:55Z")

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I’m appalled, yet strangely aroused…  
If only I weren’t vegetarian.

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**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/36 "2003-04-26T16:45:24Z")

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I come of proud British extraction, but I’ve _never_ heard of these things. I have to get back over there, and see this stuff for real…

I also need the ‘Coke all over the screen’ smilie, please.

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**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/37 "2003-04-26T16:46:04Z")

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I wonder who won the [freezer full of faggots](http://www.thisislancashire.co.uk/lancashire/bolton/competitions/faggots.html). Did anyone attend the Faggot Roadshow the article mentions?

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**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/38 "2003-04-26T16:46:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Eve \*  
> \*\*OK, I am off to the Shop Rite, and I am bound and determined to bring a faggot home with me! There I’ll be in the Customer Service aisle, shouting, “What do you _mean_ you have no faggots here? What the hell kind of grocery store has no faggots? Dammit, I need to eat a faggot _right now!_”
> 
> –Eve [half horrified and offended; half laughing her mascara off] \*\*

(jumping up and down)  
**_PICK ME!!_ _PICK ME!!_ _PICK ME!!_**

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/39 "2003-04-26T16:52:59Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Eve_  
> OK, I am off to the Shop Rite, and I am bound and determined to bring a faggot home with me!

**Eve** , you had your chance to run off with me at the Algonquin. _sigh_.

But I could handle having some faggot’s sausage down my throat.

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**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\
**Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-brains-faggots-leave-me-speechless/171245/40 "2003-04-26T17:00:37Z")

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The faggots _come_ with a _rich sauce_. This may have been more than I actually wanted to know. Are you only permitted to nibble upon your faggots or do they expect you to swallow them whole? [insert shocked smilie \>here\<]

Some enterprising soul should prepackage the sausage in a condom. Think of the benefits:

1. One trip to the grocery saves another to the apothecary.

2. Pre-lubed with the aforementioned _rich sauce_.

3. With the packaging in place, you’re ready for a _banger_.

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