# Mr. Cynical Profiles Your Evil Twin... Step Right Up! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 7, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815 "2001-01-07T04:59:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/1 "2001-01-07T04:59:15Z")
As his name bespeaks, just he, the one and only **Mr. Cynical** could possibly identify your long lost (or nearby) evil twin (separated at birth, of course). Only he of such pessimistic mien could have the remotest chance of rendering a personality profile of your malignant alter ego. Imagine, if you will, **Enderw24** ’s malicious and unimaginative not-so-witty doppelganger. Why, the b@stard could easily take over Hollywood before lunch time! I dare you to take the; **C** [sup]ynical[/sup] **R** [sup]eductive[/sup] **A** [sup]lternate[/sup] **P** [sup]ersonality[/sup] **P** [sup]rofile[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![ElusiveMiser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@ElusiveMiser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElusiveMiser)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/2 "2001-01-07T05:09:02Z")
::looks around all shify eyed:: Uh, okay. Do your worst! ---
**Author:** ![AngelD112](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@AngelD112](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelD112)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/3 "2001-01-07T05:21:56Z")
Hmm…Okay, Go Ahead. I always knew I had one. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/4 "2001-01-07T05:35:04Z")
I’ll give your a shiny new nickel if you can profile my evil twin, Mr. C. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/5 "2001-01-07T05:50:29Z")
I’m game… or something ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/6 "2001-01-07T05:51:10Z")
You know, I’ve never done a single one of these little things before, but what the hell. I don’t bother MrC near enough as it is and really need to start picking up the pace. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/7 "2001-01-07T05:52:30Z")
**Elusive Miser** : Your evil twin is frequently seen wandering shoeless in dark alleys wearing snake-proof pants. Since he has a felony conviction for graffiti vandalism, his tagging is now limited to classic items such as, “Here I sit, all broken hearted…” ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/8 "2001-01-07T05:53:35Z")
Do me, do me! Over here! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Doll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Broken\_Doll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Doll)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/9 "2001-01-07T06:01:08Z")
Oooh, ohh! Me, me! _waves hands_ ---
**Author:** ![SeaDiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SeaDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDiver)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/10 "2001-01-07T06:25:54Z")
what could my evil twin be like? ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/11 "2001-01-07T07:09:31Z")
Oh, I need an evil twin! Its a must. That way I can blame stuff on them. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, was that out loud… ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/12 "2001-01-07T07:29:48Z")
I already know what my evil twin is like, he’s the popular one who knows how to socialize and actually can stand the world. But I do wonder if I perhaps have an evil triplet. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/13 "2001-01-07T07:40:35Z")
Oh dear. Well, I suppose I’m in. So whaddya say? ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/14 "2001-01-07T07:43:54Z")
If I am already evil, does this mean I get a nice twin? Well, whatever! Do me anyway! ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/15 "2001-01-07T08:14:05Z")
Do me too! I’ve always wanted a twin, evil or not. ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/16 "2001-01-07T08:31:46Z")
Dang. That should read “Another one jumps on the bandwagon” gahh. ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/17 "2001-01-07T08:41:46Z")
Well, I suppose an evil twin couldn’t hurt. I’m far too nice. I need an evil twin getting me a rep as a bad boy. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/18 "2001-01-07T08:57:01Z")
**AngelD112** : Your evil twin is involved in a torrid affair with SanibelMan. You will recognize her by the way she not only delicately fingers the stem of her wine glass to flirt, but by the way she deep-throats the candelabra whenever the wine steward passes by. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/19 "2001-01-07T09:04:41Z")
**Lexicon** : Your evil twin takes advantage of you on the sly. When you write something witty, he comes in behind you, and messes up your spelling. He drinks Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill, and gets tipsy after one glass. Although your twin, he is fraternal, not identical. He is 5 feet tall, has an IQ of 47, and HE received the 4" of penis you’re missing 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/20 "2001-01-07T09:09:15Z")
Alright, Cyni… I’m dying to find out what my “evil” twin would be like… spill it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815.md?page=2)