# Mr. Cynical Profiles Your Evil Twin... Step Right Up! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 7, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815 "2001-01-07T04:59:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/61 "2001-01-10T04:35:12Z")
Ooooooohhhhh…Me! I _gotta_ hear what MrC really think about me! ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/62 "2001-01-10T04:36:54Z")
Other than I should type with my eyes open, of course. :forehead smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/63 "2001-01-10T07:53:19Z")
**Jophiel** : You may not spend time pestering me, but your evil twin does (if “pestering” is what you want to call it). She is a plumber, and was raised in Sheboygan, WI. She likes grapes, but hates raisins. When it rains, she curls up in the fetal position, and whimpers for God to stop crying. …no, that’s you. **She** dances naked, and screams aloud, “Wisconsin rain gods EAT SHIT!” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/64 "2001-01-10T07:55:46Z")
**ssskuggiii** : yourr evvil twwinnn isss fonnnd offf snnneaakkinggg uppp beeehhindd youuuu annnd adddinnggg extttraa letttersss ttoo whaatteverrr yoou ttyppppe. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/65 "2001-01-10T08:22:49Z")
It’s lonely being an only child. Could I have an evil twin? Please? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/66 "2001-01-10T10:24:16Z")
Spooje would like one also!😃 ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/67 "2001-01-10T22:36:52Z")
Oo! Can I have an evil twin too? Please? ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/68 "2001-01-10T22:48:53Z")
OOOH, pretty, pretty please, this is fun!! ---
**Author:** ![SterlingNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@SterlingNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SterlingNorth)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/69 "2001-01-11T02:40:26Z")
Oh, yeah? If you’re so gifted, produce mine, wiseguy! ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/70 "2001-01-11T21:05:08Z")
I could yell “Do me! Do me!” like some others in this thread, but a description of my evil twin would also be just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/71 "2001-01-11T22:22:44Z")
**Broken Doll** : ['Nuff Said.](http://trinachow.com/raggedy/images/2.jpeg) Does it get more evil than this? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/72 "2001-01-11T22:28:18Z")
**SeaDiver** : Your evil twin is a man. With a beard. Like the ones ZZ Top wear. He is the guy at the beach. You know the one. Big belly, cigar, mirrored sunglasses, and lots of back hair. He always wears a speedo to the public beaches, but prefers to bathe au natural, if you get my drift. He eschews tequila in favor of MD 20/20, and has an allergy to latex. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/73 "2001-01-11T22:46:44Z")
**Medea’s Child** : Your evil twin was recently apprehended in Sheboygan, WI. Sheboygan apparently is the rendevous point for the Evil Twin Convention 2001. When arrested, she was dressed in only tinfoil, having a heated discussion with a newspaper machine. Known world wide for her aversion to snails, tree frogs, and the letter Q, she recently broke up a torrid affair with Mr. Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street. Since then, he’s developed alopecia, which has necessitated a hiatus from daily taping. ---
**Author:** ![WickedAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f6c823/32.png) [@WickedAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WickedAngel)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/74 "2001-01-11T22:48:00Z")
I always knew there was someone just like me in all the opposite ways…please help me find my evil twin ::bats eyelashes:: 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/75 "2001-01-11T22:55:54Z")
**Narile:** I have studied your behavior, as well as your picture. I am led to only one possible suspect for your [Evil Twin.](http://www.geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/max_torque.html) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/76 "2001-01-11T23:05:43Z")
**yosemitebabe** : Driving down the highway in her SUV, talking on her cell phone, your evil twin is known for tossing lit cigarette butts out the window along with six-pack rings and bottles of used motor oil. She loves rare birds, such as Bald Eagle, California Condor, and Spotted Owl. She especially loves them broiled, with mushrooms and scallions on the side. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/77 "2001-01-11T23:13:40Z")
\*\* MrC\*\* , since you have met me , uit should ber easy enough for you to , ahem, \*\* do me \*\*. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/78 "2001-01-11T23:15:25Z")
**evilbeth** : Your evil twin, strangely enough, appears to be the good one. Where YOU went astray, nobody knows. Your twin holds down a steady job in Hollywood. Performing in a number of movies each year, your twin has made a big splash in the porn industry, as a lactating hermaphrodite. Although an adult performer, s/he will not participate in any bukkake videos, and receives no joy from “facials”. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/79 "2001-01-11T23:57:49Z")
**Corvus:** Your evil twin has been close to greatness a number of times. He was sitting in front of Paul Reubens in the theater, which inspired the hair gel scene in There’s Something About Mary. His description of the popcorn that day: “The butter is odd, and smells vaguely of bleach, but is not altogether unpleasant.” All three of his nipples are pierced, as well as the superfluous second navel, hidden behind his ear. ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/80 "2001-01-12T09:10:05Z")
I see you have lots of people to do here, but still, please, do me too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815.md?page=5)