# Mr. Cynical Profiles Your Evil Twin... Step Right Up! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 7, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815 "2001-01-07T04:59:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Gregor\_Samsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@Gregor\_Samsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gregor_Samsa)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/81 "2001-01-12T22:56:45Z")
I’ve never actually said this to another man before, but will you do me, **MrC**? ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/82 "2001-01-13T06:07:08Z")
Well I’m aware that you have never met Dr\_Fenugreek, would be grateful if you could describe my evil twin. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/83 "2001-01-13T10:32:57Z")
All right. I’ll ask for an evil twin, too. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/84 "2001-01-13T11:01:23Z")
Thanks **Mr. C**! Yes, my evil twin is TRULY evil!!! ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/85 "2001-01-13T12:00:39Z")
I will be a gentleman- and give up my place to anniz- as I have enjoyed her postings & etc. Mr. C- I have a vision of YOUR “other twin”- he is a celebate monk, with a dislike of technology- writes with a quill & hand-made ink, and has a vow of silence. Eats only stale bread & cold water. Has never been with a woman, and has no desire to. However- which is the EVIL twin? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/86 "2001-01-13T12:32:34Z")
Go on, do me as well. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/87 "2001-01-14T05:47:05Z")
Thanks Mr. C.! That was great! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/88 "2001-01-15T21:35:47Z")
**silent\_rob** : Your evil twin wanders the alleyways of India at night, carrying a rabies information booklet. During periods of drought, he climbs trees and rains down urine on unsuspecting passers-by. He does not speak the language, so their words for him are interpereted as shrieks of delight. He has a tattoo of a spider above his crack, and enough butt hair to weave an indian blanket. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/89 "2001-01-16T01:10:17Z")
> [@](#): > > He has a tattoo of a spider above his crack. . . ----:eek:/ ----///\\ ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/90 "2001-01-16T06:26:27Z")
BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Thanks **Mr. C** , that was awsome. I’ll definitely have to be on the look-out for _him_. And **Spider Woman** … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/91 "2001-01-16T06:39:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by silent\_rob \* > **I’ll definitely have to be on the look-out for _him_.** You say that as though the one **Mr. Cynical** described was the evil one! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/92 "2001-01-16T07:21:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*You say that as though the one **Mr. Cynical** described was the evil one! > 😃 \*\* If you prick us, do we not bleed??? ☹ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/93 "2001-01-16T07:34:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by silent\_rob \* > \*\*If you prick us, do we not bleed??? ☹ > > 😉 \*\* You can be my innocent-looking evil influence. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/94 "2001-01-16T07:39:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*You can be my innocent-looking evil influence. 😉 > \*\* Yeah, yeah. You’ve hurt me enough for tonight, **Audrey**! ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/95 "2001-01-16T07:46:00Z")
☹ Am I my own evil twin? ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/96 "2001-01-16T13:02:07Z")
Put me down on the bottom of that list. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/97 "2001-01-16T20:15:46Z")
**Valerieblaise** : Your evil twin lives a wanton life of debauchery in Schenectady, New York (she couldn’t find Sheboygan). Frequently found flirting with patrons at Gravel Gertie’s bar, she can always be counted on to flash cleave for a free shot from some lonely sucker with a buck to spend. Her apartment, a veritable den of iniquity, is graced by the presence of a red flashing neon sign right outside the bedroom fire escape. The sign reads, appropriately enough, Lucky’s. She likes bourbon, herbal tea mixed with bourbon, and bananas (if they’re served with bourbon). ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/98 "2001-01-16T20:46:11Z")
Do me baby! ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/99 "2001-01-16T20:46:28Z")
Ooh, ooh, me too! do me! (don’t tell my husband I said that! 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815/100 "2001-01-16T20:50:09Z")
**danielinthewolvesden** : Your twin is an anti circumcisionist, living in suburban Tampa. The inventor of the Tug-Ahoy, his market is expanding as fast as he can stretch his level of influence. His favorite foods are unpeeled carrots. In his spare time, he races slot cars in the basement with the mannequin he made from spare smegma. It is named Fred, and it always loses. Known worldwide for his ability to carry an entire roll of quarters in his navel, he is popular at frat parties, and with foreign navies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-cynical-profiles-your-evil-twin-step-right-up/48815.md?page=6)