# Mr. Hitchhiker, if you really want a ride you might rethink your look. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 8, 2006, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924 "2006-08-08T21:51:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/1 "2006-08-08T21:51:59Z")
Most people are loathe to pick up hitchhikers for the obvious reason that you never know who it is you’ll be picking up. Nonetheless, there are some of us that will on occasion feel a certain pang of guilt on a hot day and pick people up. Because traffic moves so fast you only have a split-second to decide. With that in mind, here’s what I would call an appropriate “dress code”, as it were: 1. A neat haircut. 2. Shaved, or at least neatly trimmed. 3. Some relatively clean clothes, preferably not with images of naked women, beer companies, or Harley-Davidson advertisements. The reason why I say this is because for some reason the hitchhikers are out in force where I live, and almost without exception they look like the stereotypical straight-out-of-a-Hollywood-movie douchebag bike gang member. You know, the renegade serial killer mad-dog criminal type. Long, filthy hair, enormous beer gut, filthy clothes, full unkempt beard, stuff that generally causes people to avoid you under any circumstances, let alone when you’re hitchhiking. If you look innocent, people will think that you are innocent and will be more inclined to help you. This is only a suggestion, of course. Who am I to tell people how to dress, or what to look like? I’m only the guy among thousands that you might have a chance to get a ride from, and if you look like that you’ll still be waiting long after I’m gone. Sorry, but if you look psycho, under the circumstances I’m sure you’ll forgive me if I think you are psycho and take a pass. You catch more flies with honey than garbage, if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Baffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@Baffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baffle)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/2 "2006-08-08T21:59:00Z")
If you want to hitch-hike, at least start walking in the direction you want to go. You might not get picked up ever, and at least you’ll get a head start. ---
**Author:** ![blinkingblinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@blinkingblinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blinkingblinking)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/3 "2006-08-08T22:03:49Z")
Make sure you have a towel. > **[kojv.net](http://ww38.towelday.kojv.net/)** > > This domain may be for sale! ---
**Author:** ![Clockwork\_And\_Candy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b782af/32.png) [@Clockwork\_And\_Candy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clockwork_And_Candy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/4 "2006-08-08T22:20:50Z")
[QUOTE=Airman Doors, USAF] [snip]…enormous beer gut…[/snip] [/QUOTE] Does a persons weight really affect their chances at hitchhiking? 😕 This is such a strange pitting, too. It’s kind of weird that you care so much about the outward appearence of strangers, especially those which you don’t interact with. Meh. I do agree that more people should practice, y’know, _basic_ hygiene, but it’s their choice not to so… whatever. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/5 "2006-08-08T22:24:52Z")
[QUOTE=Clockwork And Candy] Does a persons weight really affect their chances at hitchhiking? 😕 This is such a strange pitting, too. It’s kind of weird that you care so much about the outward appearence of strangers, especially those which you don’t interact with. Meh. I do agree that more people should practice, y’know, _basic_ hygiene, but it’s their choice not to so… whatever. [/QUOTE] Yes, yes. Lord knows on the Straight Dope we can never dare to mention appearance. Wont someone think of the children!? :rolleyes: I’m not the OP, but I’m fairly certain he was just using that description to show us that most of the hitchhikers seem to be the stereotypical biker guy. Do you watch the Simpsons? Did you see the episode where the “Hells Devils” from Bakersfield (woo!) came through Springfield? Their leader was a big guy, burly, unshaven, dirty, with a huge beer gut that was only covered by his Harley Tee and leather. Do you find the stereotype on the Simspons strange, too? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/6 "2006-08-08T22:25:34Z")
[QUOTE=Clockwork And Candy] Does a persons weight really affect their chances at hitchhiking? 😕 [/QUOTE] Yep, for several reasons. Small car, too much mass to fight off easily, etc. I’m much more likely to give a ride to someone who isn’t built like a grizzly. As a hitcher, you are putting yourself on display and **inviting** snap judgments based on your appearance. Look like a smaeely biker and you better like walking. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/7 "2006-08-08T22:27:48Z")
Smaeely: What you get when you try to touch-type and drink a beer at the same time. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/8 "2006-08-08T22:29:52Z")
A dress code for hitchhikers. You got some scary ideas, **Dave**. Also, you might misunderstand, you seem to think that the hitchhiker expects a ride from _you_. Don’t take it so personal. When I was a younger fool, and hitchhiked in full freak regalia, I wasn’t expecting to be picked up by most folks. 90% of the cars were _right out!_ But there were sympathetic folks out there, sooner or later you’d catch a ride. And a buzz, and a good chance at a meal. Besides, how many guys who meet your standards have to hitchhike, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/9 "2006-08-08T22:50:38Z")
Dress code for female hitchhikers? (This should be interesting…) ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/10 "2006-08-08T22:55:50Z")
Well I guess being fat AND having a beard I’m screwed. Good thing I have my own ride. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/11 "2006-08-08T23:24:57Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] When I was a younger fool, and hitchhiked in full freak regalia, I wasn’t expecting to be picked up by most folks. 90% of the cars were _right out!_ But there were sympathetic folks out there, sooner or later you’d catch a ride. And a buzz, and a good chance at a meal. [/QUOTE] You, too? Ah, the good ol’ days! Peace, man. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/12 "2006-08-08T23:28:09Z")
[QUOTE=Omegaman] Well I guess being fat AND having a beard I’m screwed. Good thing I have my own ride. 🙂 [/QUOTE] But I wear a flattop – there’s a point in my favor 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/13 "2006-08-08T23:37:04Z")
[QUOTE=John Mace] You, too? Ah, the good ol’ days! Peace, man. [/QUOTE] What? You had tickets to Hootie? ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/14 "2006-08-08T23:52:33Z")
[QUOTE=dahfisheroo] Dress code for female hitchhikers? (This should be interesting…) [/QUOTE] Sky’s the limit would be my guess 😛 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/15 "2006-08-08T23:57:13Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] What? You had tickets to Hootie? [/QUOTE] I’m guessing that I’m a few years older than you, _amigo_. 🙂 I shudder thinking back on some of the dumb things we did back in the day. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/16 "2006-08-09T00:14:35Z")
**Jumpin’ Johnny?!** Is that you? Man, what did they _do_ to you? By the way, those brown barrels you sold me? Karma’s really out of balance on that one, brother. ---
**Author:** ![Sad\_and\_Deranged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Sad\_and\_Deranged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sad_and_Deranged)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/17 "2006-08-09T00:20:05Z")
😕 If they could afford to clean up and dress up nice, would they really be hitchiking? ---
**Author:** ![nameless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/779978/32.png) [@nameless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nameless)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/18 "2006-08-09T00:20:27Z")
A few weeks ago, I saw a group of eight people attempting to hitchhike at once. They were all dressed as the OP mentions, but the best part was that there were eight of them in a group. Was I supposed to come back for the other four? Were they hoping for a minibus? I mean really. Eight. WTF. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/19 "2006-08-09T00:31:11Z")
When you hitchhike, you dress like the folks you think might pick you up. A shirt and tie, with a fresh shave? That guy _ **ain’t** _ pickin’ you up, dude! Mrs. Priss, with the SUV will think to herself, “My, that young man looks nice, and respectable! He’ll get a ride real soon now.” Shirt with a hole in it, and ragged ass jeans? Yeah, that guy picks up hikers. Biker gear, with a tatoo? Yep, if you got a local biker population, go for it. In Michigan’s UP, maybe not so much. Work boots, and a tee shirt, with a worn out jacket? Yep, the guy in the pickup truck is goin’ your way! Me, I pick up everyone who I can safely stop and get. I won’t risk any lives, though. I have done the whole deal, but now I drive, so, welcome aboard. Tris ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924/20 "2006-08-09T00:36:19Z")
[QUOTE=Sad and Deranged] 😕 If they could afford to clean up and dress up nice, would they really be hitchiking? [/QUOTE] A shower and a washing machine at a truck stop costs $10, tops. Considering how it’s wall to wall truck stops where I live it’s not too hard to put two and two together. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-hitchhiker-if-you-really-want-a-ride-you-might-rethink-your-look/367924.md?page=2)