# Mr Quatro's "Things God Told Me" thread
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [February 2, 2018, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067 "2018-02-02T21:21:58Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/1 "2018-02-02T21:21:58Z")
For those of you that don’t know, our board is graced with the presence of a prophet of God, who is periodically foretold the future so that he may share it with the world. [He is very insistent](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=20764326) that he be given a platform for this, and that there will be forum members who agree that he is a messenger from God providing profound and obviously correct and Heaven-sent revelations to the world, but he seems very reluctant to start the new thread himself, so I’ll start it for him.
Mr Quatro, I invite you to share your critically-important messages personally given to you by the Creator of the Universe here.
Everyone else, I invite you to indicate the degree to which you are impressed with those messages.
---
### Author:  [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/2 "2018-02-02T21:37:47Z")
When he was a kid his dad would say, “Emo, do you believe in the Lord?”
Emo would say, “Yes, father!”
“Then, Emo, stand up and shout **Hallelujah**!”
So Emo would and he’d fall off of the big roller coaster
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/3 "2018-02-02T23:01:46Z")
Or he could just as easily open a thread in Great Debates, which specifically states that it is for that purpose.
But he’d rather whine about being a martyr. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/4 "2018-02-02T23:16:07Z")
Wow, reminds me of another long time poster around here. Wish I could remember his name… Starts with a K I think. (Not Kayaker)
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### Author:  [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/5 "2018-02-02T23:24:28Z")
I can super-understand why a prophet -as in a person who can actually prophecy future events, as opposed to a proselytizer who has no new information- would be reluctant to post their predictions here.
Because no such person exists.
Wait, scratch that, sorry. I mean because people 'round these parts tend to be pretty critical of people who try to blow smoke up their asses - and of people who really sound like they’re trying to blow such smoke. Especially people who claim to be getting their information from some god.
Because no such person exists.
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### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/6 "2018-02-02T23:32:25Z")
Since he doesn’t want to join this thread, how about visiting a few of his greatest hits?
[Teh gayz are bad](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=692977).
[More prophesying](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=701454).
[What’s next, recreational sex](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=811520)?
[There are no Christians on the Supreme Court](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=693067).
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### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/7 "2018-02-02T23:34:34Z")
> [@Chimera](#):
>
> Or he could just as easily open a thread in Great Debates, which specifically states that it is for that purpose.
>
> But he’d rather whine about being a martyr. :rolleyes:
Well, to be fair to him, one of the Beatitudes is about being blessed when he ( **Mr Quattro** ) gets cursed for His ( **Jesus’s** ) name’s sake.
I don’t remember any blessings being bestowed upon those who just metaphorically stand on street corners shouting at everyone. Could be wrong, though. Haven’t memorized them, or read them in forty years.
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### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/8 "2018-02-02T23:34:40Z")
> [@begbert2](#):
>
> Wait, scratch that, sorry. I mean because people 'round these parts tend to be pretty critical of people who try to blow smoke up their asses - and of people who really sound like they’re trying to blow such smoke.
I think that he would have an uphill battle being taken seriously even on an explicitly Christian site. Except maybe WingNutDaily–they swallowed the “Four Blood Moons” thing hook, line and sinker.
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### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/9 "2018-02-02T23:39:20Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#):
>
> Since he doesn’t want to join this thread, how about visiting a few of his greatest hits?
>
> [Teh gayz are bad](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=692977).
> [More prophesying](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=701454).
> [What’s next, recreational sex](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=811520)?
> [There are no Christians on the Supreme Court](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=693067).
I’m having a vision! Gawd has come to me and told me, this guy is gonna do more of that 😃
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/10 "2018-02-02T23:40:02Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#):
>
> Since he doesn’t want to join this thread, how about visiting a few of his greatest hits?
>
> [What’s next, recreational sex](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=811520)?
Holy shit that’s funny.
Other primates do it for fun, our entire human evolutionary lineage no doubt did it.
Yes, people have sex just for fun. How horrifying and ungodlike. 😃
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### Author:  [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/11 "2018-02-02T23:54:36Z")
I’d be interested to know what God sounds like. I think most people would presume that He speaks in an English accent, but what if He spoke, say, in a French accent? Or does He adjust his accent to make it identical to that of the person He’s speaking to?
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### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2018, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/12 "2018-02-02T23:59:26Z")
> [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#):
>
> I’d be interested to know what God sounds like.
I’m thinking half-way between James Earl Jones and David Attenborough.
But (coincidentally enough) he _looks_ more like Christopher Walken.
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### Author:  [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2018, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/13 "2018-02-03T00:03:14Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#):
>
> I’m thinking half-way between James Earl Jones and David Attenborough.
>
> But (coincidentally enough) he _looks_ more like Christopher Walken.
For me, it’s the other way round - he looks like a cross between James Earl Jones and David Attenborough, but talks like Christopher Walken.
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### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2018, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/14 "2018-02-03T00:05:18Z")
> [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#):
>
> I’d be interested to know what God sounds like. I think most people would presume that He speaks in an English accent, but what if He spoke, say, in a French accent? Or does He adjust his accent to make it identical to that of the person He’s speaking to?
Everyone knows God sounds like Morgan Freeman.
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### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2018, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/15 "2018-02-03T00:10:43Z")
> [@Grrr](#):
>
> Everyone knows God sounds like Morgan Freeman.
Who looks halfway between James Earl Jones and Christopher Walken!
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2018, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/16 "2018-02-03T00:10:58Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#):
>
> But (coincidentally enough) he _looks_ more like Christopher Walken.
Everyone knows he looks like [this.](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/southpark/images/3/33/316.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160413182429)
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### Author:  [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2018, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/17 "2018-02-03T00:15:36Z")
God help us.
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### Author:  [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2018, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/18 "2018-02-03T00:30:37Z")
> [@Grrr](#):
>
> Wow, reminds me of another long time poster around here. Wish I could remember his name… Starts with a K I think. (Not Kayaker)
**kanicbird**
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### Author:  [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2018, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/19 "2018-02-03T00:35:47Z")
I had a look at some of his _oeuvre_. I’m afraid that much of it raises more questions than it answers …
> [@Could it be possible that homosexuals are really athesist](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-it-be-possible-that-homosexuals-are-really-athesist/660225/1):
>
> **Could it be possible that homosexuals are really athesist**
> because there are no holes in my bible that this practice is sinfully wrong.
I’m not clear on the difference between “sinfully wrong” and “sinfully right”. I bet there are a lot of horny dudes and dudettes who believe that their particular carnal practices are “sinfully right”. Do you burn in hell for that, too? Actually there’s a grocery store here that advertises chocolate chip cookies as “sinfully rich”, which I think is sorta the same thing as “sinfully right”. It would a shame if they sent you to hell for that.
And I totally don’t get it about holes in your Bible. What would those holes be for? Given the rest of your screed, it sounds vaguely obscene.
> [@Could it be possible that homosexuals are really athesist](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-it-be-possible-that-homosexuals-are-really-athesist/660225/1):
>
> If you knew beyond a doubt that you would pay for your sins in hell …
>
> wouldn’t you want to repent?
Wait… repenting under duress, just to get on God’s good side for personal gain, actually works?
> [@Could it be possible that homosexuals are really athesist](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-it-be-possible-that-homosexuals-are-really-athesist/660225/1):
>
> follow Jesus and not the flesh of your desires.
I dunno about that. I was picking up stuff for dinner yesterday and the flesh of my desire that caught my eye was a nicely marbled five-pound prime rib roast, which I desired quite a lot so I got it, and it turned out great.
> [@What's next recreational sex?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-next-recreational-sex/772574/1):
>
> I see a day when men and women will be auctioned off like they do animals today, for an hour or a day or a night.
> Does this sound like a society you could live in?
Auctions, eh? I thought they did all that today, but with price lists. I’m all for a more open free market where prices are more responsive to demand.
> [@Could it be possible that homosexuals are really athesist](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-it-be-possible-that-homosexuals-are-really-athesist/660225/1):
>
> I would move to the last country that allows this.
It’s wise not to be an early adopter of these things, but I don’t know why you’d wait until the very last one had it. Let five or six countries sort it out, and once the auction systems are all running smoothly, move to any of them. I’m sure it will be fine.
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### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2018, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/20 "2018-02-03T00:51:40Z")
> [@wolfpup](#):
>
> And I totally don’t get it about holes in your Bible. What would those holes be for?
They are holes through which the glory of God can shine.
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