# Mr Quatro's "Things God Told Me" thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 2, 2018, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067 "2018-02-02T21:21:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/41 "2018-02-03T16:46:43Z")
“Silence is the language of the gods.” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/42 "2018-02-03T17:20:23Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > So why is his username **Mr Quatro**? It means “Mister 4.” Wouldn’t he model himself after the Holy Trinity and be **Mr Tres**? Maybe he’s a fan of [Audi](http://www.audi.com/en/innovation/quattro.html). “Those who know Audi know quattro … … and once you have driven with quattro, you won’t want to drive any other way.” Notice how seamlessly you can substitute “God” for “quattro”. That would make a goddam fine TV ad! ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/43 "2018-02-03T17:47:41Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Maybe he’s a fan of [Audi](http://www.audi.com/en/innovation/quattro.html). > > “Those who know Audi know quattro … > … and once you have driven with quattro, you won’t want to drive any other way.” > > Notice how seamlessly you can substitute “God” for “quattro”. That would make a goddam fine TV ad! My 4Matic beats your puny quattro! ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/44 "2018-02-03T18:30:36Z")
Look, if **Mr Quatro** is an Audi fanboi, it’s because God Himself has revealed the truth to **Mr Quatro** in his divinely inspired dreams. Not the dreams where he’s running naked through a field of Scottish thistle being chased by a giant panda, but the one where God personally road tests German AWD vehicles and renders His Judgment. You don’t get to be a prophet without this sort of valuable input. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/45 "2018-02-03T18:39:15Z")
> [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > I’d be interested to know what God sounds like. I think most people would presume that He speaks in an English accent, but what if He spoke, say, in a French accent? Or does He adjust his accent to make it identical to that of the person He’s speaking to? He speaks Jive, blood. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/46 "2018-02-04T06:41:26Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > So why is his username **Mr Quatro**? It means “Mister 4.” Wouldn’t he model himself after the Holy Trinity and be **Mr Tres**? Maybe he sees himself as the Billy Preston\* of the Holy Trinity. \*(as in “the fifth Beatle”…) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2018, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/47 "2018-02-06T05:16:05Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I’m pretty sure [he looks like this](http://thehill.com/sites/default/files/styles/thumb_small_article/public/billboard_020118_twitter.jpg?itok=gVdehuwx). You’re all wrong. He looks like [this](http://www.androidarts.com/fsm/SistineHirez3%20tentative.jpg) (the one on the right). ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2018, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/48 "2018-02-06T05:58:19Z")
God is depicted in exquisite detail in Chapter 29 of _The Restaurant at the End of the Universe_. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2018, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/49 "2018-02-06T06:00:16Z")
You can’t SEE God, in all the movies he’s a disembodied voice booming instructions from on high. Yea, verily! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2018, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/50 "2018-02-06T06:51:44Z")
Except when he’s Alanis Morissette. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2018, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/51 "2018-02-06T14:04:03Z")
> [@The\_Tooth](#): > > He speaks Jive, blood. “Oh, stewardess? I speak jive.” ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/52 "2018-06-08T16:58:12Z")
Mr Quatro is back, with [non-sequiturs](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21009155&postcount=77) [about](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21009273&postcount=6) the “spirit world.” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2018, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/53 "2018-06-09T05:42:23Z")
Until I clicked the second link, I would have given maybe an 80% chance to the possibility that the first one was a joke. Now that’s down to maybe 15%. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2018, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/54 "2018-06-09T06:18:04Z")
I wonder what it was he suspected about me all along? ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2018, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/55 "2018-06-09T07:56:08Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I wonder what it was he suspected about me all along? Well, certainly not the username. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2018, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/56 "2018-06-09T08:07:44Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I think you’d find that God usually sounds exactly like the person claiming to speak on God’s behalf. Quoted just so I can say how much I admire this line. This is why I’m on a message board. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2018, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/57 "2018-06-09T08:53:13Z")
I’ve missed out on **Mr Quatro** ’s wisdom and didn’t want to bump the old threads. But some of the messages he relays from God seem a little … odd. > [@What's next recreational sex?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-next-recreational-sex/772574/16): > > Did you know that it is now legal to smoke pot in a bar in Colorado? > > I think society is aiming to peak itself out. I hear it’s legal to drink whiskey in a bar in New Jersey. What’s the difference? (Yes, I know wine is Jesus’ blood, but what about whiskey? Is that Jesus’ bile?) And BTW, not only does Jesus never condemn homosexuality, some scholars suspect he was homosexual himself: > [@The Gospel according to Mark before its 2nd-century censoring](#): > > … in the evening the youth came to him, wearing a linen cloth over his naked body. And he remained with him that night, for Jesus taught him the mystery of the kingdom of God… ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2018, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/58 "2018-06-09T12:07:15Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Mr Quatro is back, with [non-sequiturs](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21009155&postcount=77) [about](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21009273&postcount=6) the “spirit world.” Wataloon. ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2018, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/59 "2018-06-09T13:41:06Z")
He typed panties ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2018, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-quatros-things-god-told-me-thread/808067/60 "2018-06-09T14:20:43Z")
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