# Mr. Turkey, thou art truly butt ugly **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 6, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893 "2004-03-06T21:32:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/1 "2004-03-06T21:32:10Z")
I’ve always known that turkeys weren’t the prettiest bird, but now having to draw one, I’m really beginning to feel that this possibly the ugliest creature in the world. Maybe I have turkey on the brain, but I really can’t think of a worst looking creature. Prove me wrong, dopers! What’s your ugliest creature? And let’s not go for insects as that’s just too easy find disgusting ones! ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/2 "2004-03-06T23:40:32Z")
Slugs. Both the giant banana slugs and the small brown boogerlike ones. Any kind of parasitic worm. Not only gastrointestinal ones, but also leeches and guinea worms and such. Hagfish. Since you eliminated insects, I’ll go for their fellow arthropod, the centipede. And ticks when they get all engorged with blood. And what are those exotic birds that have blue heads with orange wartlike things on them? Or maybe it’s orange with blue warts, or something. I saw a picture of one in _Ranger Rick_ or something like that when I was maybe 7 or 8. Actually, they aren’t really ugly in a repulsive way like some of the others I’ve listed, just ugly in a goofy-looking way. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/3 "2004-03-07T00:06:44Z")
You think it’s an ugly bird because you’re trying to draw it? Man, what’s wrong with your hand? ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/4 "2004-03-07T00:15:11Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m really beginning to feel that this possibly the ugliest creature in the world. Yes, But once it is stuffed, seasoned, and roasted golden brown it becomes one of the most gorgeous sights in the known world. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/5 "2004-03-07T00:28:22Z")
[Guinea fowl](http://www.steve.wagar.com/cat/guinea.jpg) are pretty damn ugly. And they have an awful “screeching” sound that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/6 "2004-03-07T00:41:50Z")
Im pretty sure any of [these pics](http://atshq.org/Rhys/gallery/index.htm) would win the arguement…\ ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/7 "2004-03-07T00:43:06Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > And let’s not go for insects as that’s just too easy find disgusting ones! D’oh. Ok…feel free to ignore my last post. :o ---
**Author:** ![peri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@peri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peri)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/8 "2004-03-07T01:15:33Z")
The [aye-aye](http://www.szgdocent.org/pp/p-aye.htm) may win for creepiest mammal. Look at it’s fingers in the last pic on the page. A baby aye-aye is [here](http://www.kidcyber.com.au/topics/ayeaye.htm). > [@](#): > > Hagfish Ick, ick, ick! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/9 "2004-03-07T01:39:04Z")
> [@peri](#): > > The [aye-aye](http://www.szgdocent.org/pp/p-aye.htm) may win for creepiest mammal. Look at it’s fingers in the last pic on the page. A baby aye-aye is [here](http://www.kidcyber.com.au/topics/ayeaye.htm). > > Ick, ick, ick! A three-toed sloth is far uglier than an aye aye, IMAO… Vultures have turkeys beat, too… ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/10 "2004-03-07T02:49:47Z")
Vampire bats are hideous, with their weird snouts. Yankees fans, too. (Just joking! I swear!) Julie ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/11 "2004-03-07T02:52:18Z")
There is a cluster (or whatever the group term is) of turkeys in our neighborhood, and from their first visit to our yard, I never thought of them as ugly. Quite to the contrary, there seems to be something endearing about them. The adults move with an almost studied gait, and they watch over the young very closely. It’s always a treat when they come by, to feed on the seed we put out for ground feeders. Driving in Maryland, my wife and I noticed some gorgeous-looking hawks, high in the sky. Turns out they were turkey buzzards that feed on road kill. Years later I happened to have the binoculars in hand when just down the street I noticed that some kind of bird was feeding on a road-killed squirrel. I put the binocs on it and there it was, a supremely ugly turkey buzzard. Even the way it tore the flesh off the prey made me want to wretch. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/12 "2004-03-07T03:06:57Z")
Is the blue headed bird with the orange wart things a cassowary, by any chance? [http://rainforest-australia.com/cass.html](http://rainforest-australia.com/cass.html) ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/13 "2004-03-07T03:36:01Z")
Hyenas get my vote as darned bfugly. Scary, too. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/14 "2004-03-07T03:40:03Z")
> [@Earl Snake-Hips Tucker](#): > > [Guinea fowl](http://www.steve.wagar.com/cat/guinea.jpg) are pretty damn ugly. And they have an awful “screeching” sound that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. From the neck up, yeh, they are SERIOUSLY ugly. But their plumage is gorgeous. We’ve got some at the barn where I keep my horses – a pewter (looks almost silver), two whites and two pearl grays (which are actually very dark gray with white dots all over them). All of them have BRIGHT red wattles on their cheeks that look from the back like elephant ears, plus a flaming red triangular lobe atop their heads. I can get a good close look at all this whenever I want, just by sitting down near them and waiting for them to come over and peck at my boots. The voices… the voices are from hell. Besides the chittering screech, which will cut through your skull like a chainsaw at close range, they also have an alarm call that’s like a soprano machine gun firing through metal grates. They do coo sometimes, but mostly they sound ghastly – and they talk A LOT. Funny, though – they do tend to grow on you. And their eggs are really tasty. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/15 "2004-03-07T04:05:39Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > Maybe I have turkey on the brain, but I really can’t think of a worst looking creature. Hey, they were not bred to look pretty, only to taste good. But coming from Willmar, MN, one of the largest turkey producing towns in the country, there were a lot of farmers who thought a flock of turkeys was a very pretty site. And a lot of workers at the turkey processing plants who thought the same. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/16 "2004-03-07T04:37:49Z")
Camels don’t fill me with excitement. There is nothing noble about them. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/17 "2004-03-07T08:29:07Z")
A couple of suggestions (Sticking to vertebrates) **Gila Monster** I think they’re neat beasties, but I can’t call them pretty. **Cane Toad** Don’t forget the gamete froth that they leave everywhere. **Wolverine** Okay, perhaps not quite a definition of ugly, but they sure do have a corner on the market of _mean_. **Sturgeon** All the appeal of well, a toothless fish, really. **Echidna** The other egg laying mammal. **Opossum** Okay, I’ve got a prejudice against non-placental mammals. 😛 **Snow Monkeys** Either end they’re butt ugly. **Hammerhead Shark** I swear it looks more like something that escaped from a B grade horror movie. Especially the teeth, curling up and out of the mouth… ewww. I know it’s common to all sharks, but combined with those eyes… ewww. **African Yellow-winged Bat** Perhaps the most extreme of the leaf-nosed bats with a huge nose and ears, makes me think that vampire bats are cute. Well, actually, I think vampire bats are neat anyways, but I’ve been told I’m odd. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/18 "2004-03-07T13:47:39Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > … > > Yankees fans, too. (Just joking! I swear!) > > … Hey! I resemble that remark. I’ve never seen one in person but by all accounts [hoatzins](http://www.birdtreks.com/reports/ven.html) (top of page) are pretty ugly. Apparently they smell bad too. Or how about [a naked mole rat?](http://www.geneise.com/animals/pages/n_m_rat.htm) ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/19 "2004-03-07T16:03:52Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > You think it’s an ugly bird because you’re trying to draw it? > > Man, what’s wrong with your hand? This made me laugh. Oh, and I vote **Laughing Lagamorph’s** naked mole rat the winner, hands down. My god, it’s like a mammalian maggot. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893/20 "2004-03-07T16:11:14Z")
> [@DeadlyAccurate](#): > > This made me laugh. > > Oh, and I vote **Laughing Lagamorph’s** naked mole rat the winner, hands down. My god, it’s like a mammalian maggot. Yeah, they’re ugly but interesting. Apparently they are the only mammals with a social structure resembling those of some insects like ants and bees. They have one queen in the colony that does all the reproducing and the rest of the rats do all the work like worker bees. They go through their tunnels forwards or backwards, when they go backwards they use their long naked tails to feel their way like blind men with canes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mr-turkey-thou-art-truly-butt-ugly/232893.md?page=2)