# Mrs. Cindy Johnson of Liberia/Senegal needs my assistance. YAY! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 2004, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640 "2004-11-19T12:14:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/1 "2004-11-19T12:14:35Z")
I am so excited! I finally received my first scam email from Africa. Her email is from Uganda. > [@](#): > > Dear: > I know this mail will come to you as a surprise, > nevertheless I am Mrs. Cindy Johnson, aged 59 years, > the wife of Major stephen johnson, Chief Security > Officer and Aide-de–camp to the exiled president > Charles Tailor of Liberia . As a result of the > on-going problem in my country, I am saddled with > problems of my ill-health of protracted diabetes and > high blood pressure which is getting of increase in > the recent times, more importantly getting a trust > worthy individual abroad to receive the sum of > US$7million and 15kg worth of Diamond on our behalf. > Due to this war crises presently in my city Monrovia > our home town, I managed to sneak myself and my son > David 23 years of age and four other of my daughters > out of Monrovia to Dakar senegal for safety. We were > sneaked into Dakar Senegal through the land boarder by the help of some government militant group. After the killing of my husband by the rebels, we decided to come down here to Dakar senegal to secure the this deposit deposited here by my husband and to further look for a trust worthy individual abroad to receive these deposit which has being deposited here in Dakar Senegal before he was eventually killed by the heartless rebels. I feel confident therefore to > introduce myself to you based on this problem and our present condition as all our foreign contacts and connections got lost during this crises, all > properties burnt by the rebels. I am desperately in > need to move and re-locate this huge deposit to your > country for safe keeping as this is the only wealth > remaining for the future survival and well being of my large family. For your percentage for assistance, a negotiable percentage will be discussed as soon as I receive your response based on this plea for your > assistance as our lives are highly in danger due to > this problem. I pray and plead for your help. You can email me back for further clarifications God bless you as you respond to my plea for assistance. > > Sincerely > > yours. > > Mrs Cindy Johnson. oh.this.poor.poor.woman. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/2 "2004-11-19T12:23:56Z")
I got one of these the other day from some people based in Switzerland (so they said) and purporting to belong to the **Independent Council of Esteemed Persons**. Crikey, it’s like having the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen writing to you. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/3 "2004-11-19T12:29:23Z")
Esteemed Persons! Whoooo, they must be loaded. I will be replying to her, I just have to take care of pesky matters like getting my kids ready for school before I can help her repatriate her millions and a big fat diamond ring. ---
**Author:** ![Magret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b782af/32.png) [@Magret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magret)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/4 "2004-11-19T12:33:29Z")
Well I’m very excited too, I got one from Yasser Arafat’s widow. > [@](#): > > Dear Friend, > > This mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following current events in the international media with reference to the Middle East and Palestine in particular. > > I am Mrs. SUHA ARAFAT, the wife of YASSER ARAFAT, the Palestinian leader who died recently in Paris. Then there’s lots more, about the secret bank accounts, and $6.5 billion… the “antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness” and it ends with > [@](#): > > In case you don’t accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. Oops. Does the SDMB count as ‘international media’? ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/5 "2004-11-19T12:52:01Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I finally received my first scam email from Africa. Congrats on your deflowering. Considering your enthusiasim, from now on I’ll forword all similar emails that I recieve to you. Hope you have plenty of disk space. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/6 "2004-11-19T13:29:52Z")
> [@Magret](#): > > Well I’m very excited too, I got one from Yasser Arafat’s widow. > > Then there’s lots more, about the secret bank accounts, and $6.5 billion… the “antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness” and it ends with > > Oops. Does the SDMB count as ‘international media’? Hey! How do you rate Arafat’s widow and I get some widow from Liberia? I wonder how long until they try to send emails out stating they are Ronald Reagan’s Widow. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/7 "2004-11-19T13:52:35Z")
I say gor for it! Be sure that she sends you the 15kg of diamonds first, as a goodwill gesture. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/8 "2004-11-19T14:18:35Z")
During the negotiations, offer to drop your percentage exchange for one of her daughters. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/9 "2004-11-19T14:22:13Z")
I’ve gotten these scam spams in all sorts of languages _including_ Esperanto, and yet somehow they all look the same. Weird use of capitals (often all-caps), long paragraphs, odd overly-polite phrasing… is there some sort of “Advance-Fee-Fraud Message-Writing School” somewhere? Is the English style indicative of some particular culture or school system? Are they all written by the same three people? > [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Hey! How do you rate Arafat’s widow and I get some widow from Liberia? I wonder how long until they try to send emails out stating they are Ronald Reagan’s Widow. I’d only get worried if they started coming from George Bush’s widow… ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/10 "2004-11-19T15:22:50Z")
That bitch! She offered me the same deal! Well, I’m not gonna share, no sirree and so I’m gonna withdraw my support! ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/11 "2004-11-19T16:07:08Z")
Don’t trust her. I went to school with that bitch! She’s age 20 years and moved to S. Africa…but I can tell it’s her. :dubious: On second thought, the letter is too well composed. ---
**Author:** ![Nolan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/aeb1de/32.png) [@Nolan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nolan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/12 "2004-11-19T16:36:27Z")
What I always find interesting in these emails is that you are the one “specifically chosen” to be the helper. My international connections start and end at Pier One imports, really, so the author’s ability to know me well enough to offer me several million is pretty exciting! Here’s a [web site](http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/100299.html) that lists the “most outrageous” of these kinds of scams. Pretty funny, actually. And if you want to read something exciting, [this group here](http://www.scamorama.com/smith-okoro.html) played along with one of these scams and got the scammer to do some pretty outrageous things. I had a coworker receive one of these emails and she came over to my desk very concerned. “What if they really need my help? Should I help them? And why is there email address say, “[yahoo.com](http://yahoo.com)?” Are they serious or a bunch of yahoos? What should I say?” I tried very hard to answer her with a straight face. I didn’t succeed once I discovered she was being serious. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/13 "2004-11-19T17:01:29Z")
Dear Dopers— I know this mail will come to you as a surprise, nevertheless I am Czarina Alexandra “Cindy” Fedorovna, aged 46 years, the wife of the Emperor, Nicholas II of all the Russias. As a result of the on-going problem in my country, I am saddled with problems of my ill-health of protracted diabetes and high blood pressure, which is getting of increase in the recent times, more importantly getting a trustworthy individual abroad to receive the Crown Jewels of the Russian Empire on our behalf. Due to this war crises presently in my city St. Petersburg our home town, I managed to sneak myself and my son Tsarevitch Alexis of Russia and four other of my daughters, Olga, Tatiana, Marie and Anastasia, out of St. Petersburgh to Ykaterinoslav for safety. We were sneaked into Ykaterinoslav by the help of some government militant group. After the killing of my husband by the Communists, we decided to come down here to Ykaterinoslav to secure the Crown Jewels deposited here by my husband and to further look for a trustworthy individual abroad to receive them, before he was eventually killed by the heartless rebels. I feel confident therefore to introduce myself to you based on this problem and our present condition as all our foreign contacts and connections got lost during this crises, all properties burnt by the rebels, and the dog ate Rasputin. I am desperately in need to move and re-locate this huge deposit to your country for safe keeping as this is the only wealth remaining for the future survival and well being of my large family. For your percentage for assistance, a negotiable percentage will be discussed as soon as I receive your response based on this plea for your assistance as our lives are highly in danger due to this problem. I pray and plead for your help. You can email me back for further clarifications. God bless you as you respond to my plea for assistance. Sincerely yours. Czarina Alexandra “Cindy” Fedorovna, Empress of All the Russias ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/14 "2004-11-19T17:35:34Z")
Czarina, your letter seems a bit off, as your English is a bit off from personal letter of yours that I have read. Nevertheless, I am willing to help you, however, there is an issue at hand for you to help me with. I am the former Governor of both Hawaii and Rhode Island. Both states are investigating me for fraud, accusing me of stealing funds from the state treasury. What I need you to do for me is to provide testimony as to my character, confirming that I would never do such a foul deed. Will you? - Gov. Firstname M. “The Mighty” Quinn ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/15 "2004-11-19T17:52:01Z")
Oh yay! It’s been far too long since the **Mangetout** /Austin Wemba/Dick Dastardly fun. (And believe it or not, that’s all from memory.) ---
**Author:** ![rowe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@rowe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowe)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/16 "2004-11-19T17:53:17Z")
I can’t share in the good-natured humor that the rest of you are enjoying in this thread. I’ve lost over a dozen relatives in Africa over the past year, all perishing in car accidents, along with their spouses and children. Luckily, each of my relatives was loaded with cash and I’m currently in the process of claiming these funds before the government swoops in and steals it forever. I’m hoping that this money will help ease the pain of my overwhelming loss. ---
**Author:** ![Daizy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@Daizy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daizy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/17 "2004-11-19T18:25:36Z")
I’m the next of kin to the latest and greatest Mr. Jonas Savimbi! I am too!!! > [@](#): > > Good Day, > THIS MESSAGE MAY COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE BUT I PLEAD WITH YOU TO READ IT BEFORE YOU MAKE A DECISION WETHER TO ASSIST ME OR NOT. MY NAME IS KOFFI NANA. I AM THE MANAGER OF A BANK HERE IN ACCRA, GHANA AND I WISH TO SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN A TRANSACTION: MY COLLEAGUES AND I WISH YOU TO HELP US MAKE A CLAIM IN THE TRANSFER OF AN INHERITANCE FUND. > > THE MONEY WAS DEPOSITED THREE YEARS AGO BY MR. JONAS SAVIMBI THE LEADER OF THE NATIONAL UNION FOR THE TOTAL INDEPENDECE OF ANGOLA (UNITA) IN MY BANK HERE. HIS ORGANISATION, NOW OUTLAWED BY THE DICTATORSHIP, HAS BEEN IN CONTROL OF A LARGE PART OF ANGOLA FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS, WITH MANY WESTERN ALLIES. SADLY, MR. SAVIMBI WAS TRAGICALLY KILLED IN COMBAT AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT FORCES IN THE CENTRAL EASTERN PROVINCE OF MEXICO IN ANGOLA ON THE 22ND OF FERBRUARY 2002. LEAVING HIS DEPOSIT HERE UNCLAIMED. > > AS HE DID NOT LIVE TO SEE THE MATURITY OF HIS FIXED DEPOSIT, WHICH WAS LAST YEAR, WE ARE LEFT IN A QUANDRUM. HE APPOINTED HIS ‘FOREIGN PARTNER’ AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DEPOSIT. AFTER TWO YEARS OF RESARCH WE - MY COLLEGUES AND I - HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND THIS PERSON, AND HAVE FOUND OUT THAT NO ONE FROM HIS ORGANISATION, OR FAMILY, IS ACTUALLY AWARE OF THESE FUNDS. > > THE PRESENT GOVERNMENT OF ANGOLA IS NOW CONFISCATING ANYTHING TO DO WITH UNITA, OR ANYTHING BELONGING TO MR. SAVIMBI. HOWEVER, WE HAVE BEEN LUCKY IN THAT NO ACCESS IS GRANTED TO CONFIDENTIAL DEPOSITS AT OUR BANK: MUCH LIKE IN SWITZERLAND, OR THE CAMAN ISLANDS. HOWEVER, IT IS BANK POLICY TO DONATE ANY UNCLAIMED MONEY AFTER FOUR YEARS TO THE GOVERNMENT OF GHANA. HENCE MY REASON OF CONTACTING YOU: WE NEED THE FUNDS TO BE TRANSFERED INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. > > ALL MODALITIES FOR THE SUCCESFUL TRANSFER OF THIS MONEY HAVE BEEN PUT IN PLACE AND WE ARE LOOKING FOR A TRUST WORTHY FOREIGN PARTNER, INTO WHOSE BANK ACCOUNT THIS TRANSFER WOULD BE REMITTED. BASED ON THIS, MY COLLEAGUES HAVE MANDATED ME TO PROVIDE SOMEONE TO POSE AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO CLAIM THIS MONEY. > > WE HAVE AGREED TO COMPENSATE YOU UPON THE COMPLETION OF THE TRANSACTION, SHOULD ACCEPT TO ASSIST US, WITH A PERCENTAGE OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT THAT WE WILL AGREE ON BEFORE STARTING. > > PLEASE REACH ME VIA THIS EMAIL ADDRESS IF YOU ARE ABLE TO ASSIT US: [koffi\_nana@freeghana.com](mailto:koffi_nana@freeghana.com) > > WE ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE AS THE BENEFICIARY IS DEAD AND I MANAGE THE BANK WHERE THE DEPOSIT IS HELD. IT WILL BE TRANSFERRED AS INHERITANCE TO AVOID QUESTIONS FROM YOUR OWN BANK. TO KNOW MORE ABOUT JONAS SAVIMBI PLEASE ACCESS THE WEBSITE BELOW. > [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1837512.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1837512.stm) > [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1837565.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1837565.stm) > [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from\_our\_own\_correspondent/1886164.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/1886164.stm) > > REGARDS, AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, > > MR. KOFFI NANA. First thing I’m gonna do with my wad of cash, is buy my best friend \*\*Koffi \*\*a computer with a functional Caps Lock key. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/18 "2004-11-19T18:57:25Z")
> [@](#): > > MY NAME IS KOFFI NANA. I AM THE MANAGER OF A BANK HERE IN ACCRA, GHANA . . . So, being visited by the Koffi Nana is even better than being visited by the Tooth Fairy? ---
**Author:** ![Daizy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@Daizy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daizy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/19 "2004-11-19T19:07:15Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > So, being visited by the \*\*Koffi Nana \*\* is even better than being visited by the Tooth Fairy? It would appear so. When dealing with \*\*Koffi Nana \*\*, everything is 100% risk free. With the Tooth Fairy…well… you’ve pretty much got to lose teeth! Daizy Savimbi ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640/20 "2004-11-24T18:39:42Z")
In my 10 years or so of being online, I’ve never received one of these. I count myself lucky. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mrs-cindy-johnson-of-liberia-senegal-needs-my-assistance-yay/275640.md?page=2)