# msmith537, What is your major malfunction? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333 "2005-05-24T21:28:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/61 "2005-05-26T17:44:45Z")
> [@FordPrefect](#): > > All women drool over burgers… 😉 It’s because at a subliminal level, we all crave meat. 😉 See, msmith? THAT is a joke. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/62 "2005-05-26T19:44:19Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > The other way around. If he were close to the mark and funny, I wouldn’t be so pissed. If this is truly the experience he’s had with women, then he’s socializing with the wrong women. > And, I think you’d be a bit offended if I said “All men are boorish lazy idiots who can’t talk about anything but sports, cars, and their dicks.” No? Exactly. I’ve heard many a comic, male and female make cracks that were “close to home” and they’re funny because you DO recognize yourself in them. Wanda Sykes did a particularly funny (to me) dialogue about how women can’t get their heads to “shut up” even when they lay down to sleep. I’m always overanalyzing things. But it makes me angry to see anyone generalize negative stereotypes about anyone. And that is what he’s doing, and incorrect ones at that. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/63 "2005-05-26T19:44:36Z")
And a fine joke it is too. 😃 I feel much refreshed now though - burgers are an almost-perfect food. Bacon cheeseburger even. With fries. And a chocolate shake to dispell the last of the bad chi that rubbed off from reading the msmith links 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/64 "2005-05-27T09:23:03Z")
Fuck it, I haven’t been flamed in a while… > [@Maureen](#): > > Charming. And goes right in line with a post **msmith** made just the other day about [dating](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6184229&postcount=92). > Lest anyone think I am perhaps going overboard in my accusation of consistent misogyny on the pittee’s part, I give you a random sampling of **msmith537’s** view on the differences between the sexes and interpersonal relations in general. > > [Decoding “womanspkeak”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6097807&postcount=52) > [More “decoding woman-speak”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=6097130#post6097130) > [Why one woman is pretty much the same as another.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6092629&postcount=18) > [The “science” of social dynamics.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6052830&postcount=16) > > There is way more, but reading this stuff just makes me even more pissed off at him. Way more? There’s no real evidence in any of those links. In the order you linked them: The dating thread response was appropriate in tone to what the OP’s friend’s position warranted. Did you read it? The womanspeak thread was a joke thread. He was no guiltier of hating women than any other poster who contributed. You misrepresented him in the thread you labeled “Why one woman is pretty much the same as another.” I see his post you linked, and in it I see a decent insight, a pep talk, and then a throw-away one-liner of humor. Do you really think that commenting on how women (irrationally, IMO) complain about leaving the seat up is misogyny? Get over yourself. The social dynamics post? I just don’t see anything offensive about it whatsoever. If you said that it is easier to meet men when there are more men around, does that mean you hate men? Maybe in crazy town. > [@monstro](#): > > You forgot this [gem](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=281776) of a thread. Is that a whoosh? You sure don’t seem pissed in it when you responded in thread. Also of note is his disclaimer in the OP: “Granted, there are obviously exceptions and most of my observations come from a relatively homogenius group, but in general, how would people characterize these statements?” Yeah, what an asshole. Let’s string him up. > [@Maureen](#): > > Eurgh. I got as far back as [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5876693&postcount=25) and decided my bile level was quite high enough, thank you. I’m reasonably certain that was a joke referencing the post immediately preceding it, saying that a woman’s “I’ll think about it” is the equivalent to a guy’s “I’ll call you some time.” This one I’m not so positive about, but he appeared to be defending women in his second post to that thread, so it would be quite the dichotomy if he meant this literally. Regarding the thread that spawned this pitting, I haven’t the inclination to read it. But I find the entirety of the other “evidence” to be wholly unsatisfactory. Either find better evidence, or stick to the single thread. And shame on you **TVeblen**. I clearly remember a recent pitting of a GQ poster, (ultrafilter? Q.E.D? can’t remember who…) where the OP changed the username slightly in order to mock him/her. The mod, and I could’ve sworn it was you, came in and issued a warning, saying in effect “I am unaware of that poster being in on this joke name, or that he is okay with it. So cut it out.” And yet here we have several posters feminizing **msmith537** ’s name purely for mocking purposes. Was that a one-off ruling or what? Or do you just not like **msmith537** , so he doesn’t get the same benefit? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/65 "2005-05-27T12:56:47Z")
Thought experiment. If I were a woman who wasn’t a golddigging backstabbing gossiping tweaker, and I met **msmith** and he claimed that women were golddigging backstabbing gossiping tweakers, I’d think, “what an asshole!” and I wouldn’t hang out around him. If I were a woman who was a golddigging backstabbing gossiping tweaker, and I met **msmith** and he claimed that women were golddigging backstabbing gossiping tweakers, I’d think, “pretty much!” and I would hang out around him, assuming there’s gold in him to be dug. Welcome to the land of self-fulfilling prophecy! Daniel ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/66 "2005-05-27T12:58:40Z")
You know what, Ellis Dee, you’re right. I started calling msmith537 ms mith a long time ago, though. Either way, you’re right. If I’m violating a board rule by doing so I apologize. You’re back to being msmith537 from now on. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/67 "2005-05-27T13:33:35Z")
Wow…you folks have really been thinking about this for awhile. I’m glad your finally venting. It’s not good to keep that much anger bottled up inside. A couple of things just to set the facts straight: - I don’t hate women (or as Ali G might have said before his 15 minutes ended “Me has nothin’ against dem bitches”) - 90% of the time I’m only half serious in most of my posts - I am not some kind of Frankenstein monster of circa 1980’s James Spader characters, Bret Easton Ellis villains and Stiffler from American Pie. I’m basically a regular guy who’s somewhat of a wiseass. - I do get laid fairly regularly…not too much though…a regular amount I guess - If you met me in real life you would probably think I was a pretty nice and funny guy if somewhat cocky and arrogant (or you might get horribly offended…which I guess is not much different from here) - For the most part I have only dated intelligent, educated, career women (and mostly the same one for many years who I recently moved in with) and thats how I like it - You have to admit the woman-speak posts were pretty funny - I did not claim that women were golddigging backstabbing gossiping tweakers. 1) I simply claimed that our current society provides a number of options for women to leave the work force that men cannot take advantage of 2) I posted several published theories up for debate that the social interaction between women is very different from the social interactions between men and 3) I don’t know what a tweaker is. - I am basically pointing out some of the inherent lunacy I witness in various interpersonal relationships as well as some hard truths that apparently some people don’t want to hear. Some people have blown it out of proportion. - There is a slight possiblity that all these Pit threads only encourage me Anyhow, I’ll try to be more clever and slightly less offensive in the future ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/68 "2005-05-27T13:39:11Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Anyhow, I’ll try to be more clever and slightly less offensive in the future Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/69 "2005-05-27T13:42:47Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I don’t know what a tweaker is. I always used it to refer to a meth addict. I don’t think that’s what **Lefty** had in mind, though. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/70 "2005-05-27T13:43:45Z")
“Tweaker” means meth addict, but it’s also a great slang word for a twitchy annoying person. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/71 "2005-05-27T13:51:41Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > It’s because at a subliminal level, we all crave meat. 😉 > > See, msmith? THAT is a joke. Impossible. No women have senses of humor. Except for Kathy Griffin, and she’s a dyke! -Joereen ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/72 "2005-05-27T13:54:41Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Wow…you folks have really been thinking about this for awhile. I’m glad your finally venting. It’s not good to keep that much anger bottled up inside. > > A couple of things just to set the facts straight: > > - I don’t hate women (or as Ali G might have said before his 15 minutes ended “Me has nothin’ against dem bitches”) > > - 90% of the time I’m only half serious in most of my posts > > - I am not some kind of Frankenstein monster of circa 1980’s James Spader characters, Bret Easton Ellis villains and Stiffler from American Pie. I’m basically a regular guy who’s somewhat of a wiseass. > > - I do get laid fairly regularly…not too much though…a regular amount I guess > > - If you met me in real life you would probably think I was a pretty nice and funny guy if somewhat cocky and arrogant (or you might get horribly offended…which I guess is not much different from here) > > - For the most part I have only dated intelligent, educated, career women (and mostly the same one for many years who I recently moved in with) and thats how I like it > > - You have to admit the woman-speak posts were pretty funny > > - I did not claim that women were golddigging backstabbing gossiping tweakers. 1) I simply claimed that our current society provides a number of options for women to leave the work force that men cannot take advantage of 2) I posted several published theories up for debate that the social interaction between women is very different from the social interactions between men and 3) I don’t know what a tweaker is. > > - I am basically pointing out some of the inherent lunacy I witness in various interpersonal relationships as well as some hard truths that apparently some people don’t want to hear. Some people have blown it out of proportion. > > - There is a slight possiblity that all these Pit threads only encourage me > Anyhow, I’ll try to be more clever and slightly less offensive in the future I for one, will look forward to these posts. And yes, I am a male with a healthy love of all things woman, but agree that I have observed a lot of the things you comment on. No, not necessarily in _ALL_ women, but I have not yet known all women. My wife for one is very much outside of these common traits. Further, I agree completely with **Ellis Dee** and find little to support this Pitting. I find the links totally lacking as justification for the vitriol shown it. **msmith537** … carry on. P.S. I will hold you to the > [@](#): > > slightly less offensive ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/73 "2005-05-27T13:57:42Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > 90% of the time I’m only half serious in most of my posts Well, as another guy, I would have to say that if of that 90% _only_ the stuff that concerns women is insulting and everything else is funny shit…then maybe you better re-examine where you’re really coming from when it comes to the other sex. I mean, when you have the entire population of women who read what you write–_in cognito_–utterly detesting you, it certainly doesn’t seem encouraging. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/74 "2005-05-27T14:02:05Z")
> [@Ellis Dee](#): > > And yet here we have several posters feminizing msmith537’s name purely for mocking purposes. Was that a one-off ruling or what? Or do you just not like msmith537, so he doesn’t get the same benefit? While I think your defense of \*\*mssmith \*\* is apt and I agree with you concerning his behavior, I think that the above statement is out of line. Remember this is the Pit where we can call someone a scum sucking goat feltching ass hat if we so choose. I don’t think there is any rule against mocking by altering a user name for that purpose in the Pit. Unless it is (god forbid) a joke in the Pit. Or it is determined you’re being a jerk. Typically heated exchanges IN THE PIT are granted a certain degree of freedom in the insults we choose. I am most definately not defending the practice of using feminization as a tool of mockery, I just do not like to see to many Rules imposed in this forum. It is the closest thing to free speech we have. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/75 "2005-05-27T14:25:28Z")
> [@](#): > > **Sage Rat** said: > I mean, when you have the entire population of women who read what you write–in cognito–utterly detesting you, it certainly doesn’t seem encouraging. Got to be careful with those absolutes though. The ‘entire population of women who read what he writes’ doesn’t detest him. I don’t. > [@](#): > > **Ellis Dee** said: > And yet here we have several posters feminizing msmith537’s name purely for mocking purposes. More interesting is that these would be the same women who would have a serious problem with any other kind of feminine thing being used as an insult. Like calling someone a ‘pussy’ would be bad because it says that the female anatomy is something to be mocked. _shrug_ ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/76 "2005-05-27T14:42:07Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Anyhow, I’ll try to be more clever and slightly less offensive in the future Hurray! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/77 "2005-05-27T15:20:27Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Got to be careful with those absolutes though. The ‘entire population of women who read what he writes’ doesn’t detest him. I don’t. True. But technical accuracy isn’t as efficient for instilling the fear of God. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/78 "2005-05-27T15:21:28Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > More interesting is that these would be the same women who would have a serious problem with any other kind of feminine thing being used as an insult. Like calling someone a ‘pussy’ would be bad because it says that the female anatomy is something to be mocked. > > _shrug_ I have no problem with someone using “pussy” or “cunt” as insults, and the people who do really annoy me. What, like calling someone a dick is a compliment? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/79 "2005-05-27T15:43:34Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Wow…you folks have really been thinking about this for awhile. I’m glad your finally venting. It’s not good to keep that much anger bottled up inside. No, I pretty much tell you what I think of you whenever we happen to be in the same thread together. I think you’re a sexist jerk who hates women. News flash. “Banging” as many of them as possible doesn’t make this any less true. > [@](#): > > - If you met me in real life you would probably think I was a pretty nice and funny guy if somewhat cocky and arrogant (or you might get horribly offended…which I guess is not much different from here) Props to you for being consistently a prick. - For the most part I have only dated intelligent, educated, career women (and mostly the same one for many years who I recently moved in with) and thats how I like it [/quote] Goodie for you. What’s that got to do with it? Are you under the impression that sexist assholes don’t get married and have wives they treat like emotional punching bags? > [@](#): > > - You have to admit the woman-speak posts were pretty funny No, as a matter of fact, I don’t. Because they weren’t. > [@](#): > > - I did not claim that women were golddigging backstabbing gossiping tweakers. 1) I simply claimed that our current society provides a number of options for women to leave the work force that men cannot take advantage of 2) I posted several published theories up for debate that the social interaction between women is very different from the social interactions between men and 3) I don’t know what a tweaker is. Oh, what horse shit. There has yet to be a a relationship thread you’ve participated in which does not have you dispensing some form of sexist crap. > [@](#): > > - I am basically pointing out some of the inherent lunacy I witness in various interpersonal relationships as well as some hard truths that apparently some people don’t want to hear. Some people have blown it out of proportion. Tell me. Those “hard truths” you’re so very fond of. Would they happen to be how, basically, women are untrustworthy gold digging back biting bitches? I do believe they would. And again, it’s all opinion. So quit stating it as fact. > [@](#): > > - There is a slight possiblity that all these Pit threads only encourage me “All,” hm? And here I thought we’d been bottling it up forever. make up your mind. > [@](#): > > Anyhow, I’ll try to be more clever and slightly less offensive in the future Lots of luck with that. BTW, **ellis dee** , the links I posted were only the threads **msmith** has posted to in the last six months or so. There is a very long list, and I’d be happy to provide more, but something tells me that no matter how many examples I put forth, I’m going to hear “oh, that’s out of context, it was a joke, you took it wrong, yadayadayada.” For the most part, I ignore it when someone is being a jerk. I pitted him because this attitude and these posts have been consistent for the past two years. It is not the only thing he posts about. But when he posts about relationships or women, he is always derogatory. Oh, and you may want to actually read more content than the OP. **urban chic** may have poked at **msmith’s** username, but she’s been supportive of him throughout the entire thread. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333/80 "2005-05-27T15:58:23Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > Impossible. No women have senses of humor. Except for Kathy Griffin, and she’s a dyke! > > -Joereen Does that mean Rosie O’Donnell is funny? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/msmith537-what-is-your-major-malfunction/305333.md?page=5)