# MST3K quote! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 5, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715 "2003-01-05T03:32:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/41 "2003-01-06T01:17:40Z")
Tonight, Pucky Schumer is caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse … “Hey!” “What?” _BANG!_ “Oh!” (Mitchell) “Welp, you know what they say: You only rent Waters of Forgetfulness.” (one of the Herc movies.) “Uh, could we get a table closer to the plot?” (Fire Maidens from Outer Space) “Man… It’s like _No\_Exit_ with bad jokes!” (Attack of the (the) Eye Creatures) “Douglas was pear-shaped, very short, and stood the whole way.” (Tom Servo, describing the space capsule in "Monster A-Go-Go.) “It’s not the apocalypse, it’s the humidity.” (Warrior of the Lost World) “Home Alone 3: The Quickening.” (Santa Claus) “Forget about the skid marks!” (Giant Gila Monster) And from Manos: “Every frame of this movie looks like someone’s last known photograph.” “He’s the clown who makes the dark side fun.” “His only crime was being born delicious!” “I remember one of the first things Harry drilled into me --” “–was Harry!” -Crow (as Hired! guy). “Tonight: Manos gets caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse…” “You know, there are certain flaws in this film.” -Tom Servo. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/42 "2003-01-06T01:41:00Z")
I just like “My spine!” which is in at least two of the shows… I don’t know why but I love it. I also say it a lot (in that voice) because it makes me so very funny. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/43 "2003-01-06T01:49:44Z")
Another favorite, from **Santa Conquers the Martians** [Tom Servo] So, Lady Momar made Santa an extra beard? ---
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/44 "2003-01-06T01:52:32Z")
_Pod People_ It Stinks! (thumbs up) ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/45 "2003-01-06T02:00:10Z")
Gypsy: I don’t get you, Tom. Servo: Nobody gets me. I’m the wind, baby. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/46 "2003-01-06T02:44:48Z")
From Fugitive Alien (I think): female character: “I… I can’t kill the man I love!” Crow: “Then kill the one you’re with” ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/47 "2003-01-06T03:44:04Z")
Invasion of the Neptune Men: Crow: Well Mike, it’s the end of the world as we know it, and aside from a little gas, I feel fine. Tom: (watching missles readied for launch) Wow, I didn’t know Estes was a major defense contractor. (And during the final battle) Mike: You know, when you think about it, this is the only thing mankind has ever really done well. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/48 "2003-01-06T04:04:23Z")
Ooooo, Neptune Men! _children slowly stand in a field of grass_ CROW: Children of the pot. MIKE: Every time you take the Japanese out to a field they get so excited and just run around… And on a similar note, who can forget Krankor’s signature laugh from **Prince of Space**? “Eh-ha-ha-ha-ha!” ---
**Author:** ![Eastern\_Europa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9dc877/32.png) [@Eastern\_Europa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eastern_Europa)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/49 "2003-01-06T04:22:23Z")
Oh, so many lines… **Space Mutiny** : (Office shot prominently featuring the actress whose character died in the previous scene) CROW: Oh, it’s nice that they let the dead lady come back to work. TOM: (as supervisor) Look alive, everyone! … sorry, Debbie. (commander Calgon looks irritated) TOM: (Calgon) ME, take me away! (the Rick Springfield-looking guy falls to the floor dead) MIKE: (dead guy) I just wish that I had Jesse’s giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl… **Jack Frost** : (Father Mushroom does, uh, mushroom stuff while invisible) CROW: Frodo gets drunk and screws with his neighbors! (The ending) MIKE: So, the moral of this story is that mildly unattractive people _are_ evil. **Manos** : (Michael’s Wife looks in the mirror after being Torgo-pawed) TOM: (singing) Torgo / I just met a fellow named Torgo… (Michael tied to a tree, Master’s Wife approaches) MIKE: She’s gonna pull a Jenny Fields on him! **Prince of Space** : (Prince of Space dodges like a little girl) TOM: (Prince) Your weapons are powerless against me, but they scare the HELL out of me anyway!! ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/50 "2003-01-06T04:26:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eastern Europa \* > \*\ ***Prince of Space** : > > (Prince of Space dodges like a little girl) > TOM: (Prince) Your weapons are powerless against me, but they scare the HELL out of me anyway!! \*\* “Let me reference my earlier codicil about how your weapons against me are without merit!” ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/51 "2003-01-06T04:30:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpazCat \* > \*\*You is mistook. > > [January/February Schedule](http://www.mst3kinfo.com/satnews/sched.html) \*\* LOL,no, I’se lives in Alaska. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/52 "2003-01-06T04:35:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpazCat \* > \*\*You is mistook. > > [January/February Schedule](http://www.mst3kinfo.com/satnews/sched.html) \*\* I appreciate you finding the link though, I went back and did a search for it on our TV Listings page, sigh,none there. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/53 "2003-01-06T05:37:03Z")
Hike Hike Hike Your Pants Up! ---
**Author:** ![Vanyel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Vanyel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vanyel)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/54 "2003-01-06T05:47:48Z")
Hmm, is that from this?: \ Make sure you wear your belt buckle to the side / Hike up your pants, take your buttcheeks for a ride (307 - Daddy-O) ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/55 "2003-01-06T06:43:59Z")
“Hmmm, really OLD teenagers from outer space.” As a woman slowly rolls a stocking up her leg… “Looks like she’s into safe walking.” “She’s wearing her jimmy shoes!” ---
**Author:** ![Harry\_Lime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Harry\_Lime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harry_Lime)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/56 "2003-01-06T09:02:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pucky Schumer \* > And from Manos: > > “Every frame of this movie looks like someone’s last known photograph.” Which is pretty much literally true. I also love: Manos: “Arise my wives!” (Crow adds) “And iron my work shirt.” “It’s a Frank Frazetta of Frank Zappa!” And three classics at the expense of Torgo’s odd body… “Been hittin’ the Thighmaster, there, Torgo?” “He’s got Earl Campbell thighs!” “Uh, Torgo…that _not_ how you wear jodphurs…” ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/57 "2003-01-06T09:04:01Z")
From the short “A Day at the Circus” One clown is whomping on another’s butt while hanging from a bar in a weird 69-position. Tom: “Oh, God, No! They’re doing it clown style!” Short “The Chicken of Tomorrow” Dozens of chicks are running around a grassy lawn. Sitting in the middle of them is a little girl with an odd expression on her face. Joel: “I’m full!” A moment later they pan to a second girl. Crow: “So how many are _you_ sitting on?” ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/58 "2003-01-06T15:19:48Z")
Space Mutiny is probably my favorite: As Biff McHugelarge leaves Captain Santa on the bridge: “He is **so** gonna sleep with your daughter!” The best, however, is the chase scene between what are obviously two floor waxers that the director borrowed from his brother’s warehouse supply store. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/59 "2003-01-06T15:51:12Z")
[bbThe Brain that Wouldn’t Die" \*\* (after the laboratory assistant gets his arm ripped off by the monster in the cell) “So much for semaphore lessons!” Hit me just right - I literally almost fell out of my chair laughing. ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715/60 "2003-01-06T15:57:52Z")
Also from the chicken one: “When it comes to getting the chickens to market, speed is essential.” \ Tom: I said, SPEED is ESSENTIAL! Another great one we haven’t hit: Riding with death! It’s a secret government project, but he’s still got time to stop for some flapjacks. Trucker:No one’s ever made it faster than 35, what’s your speed? Crow: About 120, is that a problem? \ Crow: That was supposed to level a city? Well, maybe it would singe the sides of a b&b… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mst3k-quote/146715.md?page=4)