# MTV's The State-anyone remember? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 14, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442 "2003-01-14T02:23:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/21 "2003-01-14T05:27:36Z")
“Mr. Magina, are you baked?” “You can’t even joke about it…you just can’t say ‘Gee, wouldn’t it be great if we shot the President…’” \ “Chips. Isn’t it time _you_ had a bag?” “This is Captain Monterey Jack…” The best reason MTV ever had for existing, IMHO. Thanx for the link, **epraz**. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/22 "2003-01-14T05:28:47Z")
Yup, Roadwalker. The taco mail sketch was brilliant. Still, nothing will ever be as good as the monkey torture sketch. “In all of your years of monkey torture, what have you learned?” “They _hate_ it.” ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/23 "2003-01-14T05:40:16Z")
The State was probably the best comedy show out there. Unfortunately, what killed it was CBS, not MTV. They moved to a network, aired one show, it got bad ratings, and like so many others, was killed based off of that. Some of the best skits I still remember are: The House that was Built Sideways. The father walks in the front door and drops ten feet. The son’s dead from falling out of the bathroom while taking a crap and all you can see are his feet hanging over the side of the couch with his underpants around his ankles. Crazy shit. Father and Son walking in the woods. It starts off with a father and son walking along, and then they decide to race. Soon, they’re beating the shit out of each other and the father throws the son down a hill. After the father beats his son to the house, grandpa jumps out and kicks his ass. of course, Grace, with “God, please kill my little brother.” Great. My toss up for the absolute best: **Porcupine Racetrack**! Musical numbers are wonderful, especially when pulled off this well. And: **Muppet Meat** Two couples having lunch, and they start talking about what wonderful blue meat they served. “What is it?” “Oh, it’s muppet.” Last one: “Sea Monkeys.” A guy goes to a friends to watch his friend’s pets for him while he’s out of town. the pets are Six Foot Tall Sea Monkeys he’s had since he was ten. Everytime the owner leaves the room, they become very serious and start harrassing the pet sitter. Great shit. I miss that show, and found Viva Variety to be very piss poor and lacking, but you have to admit **Wet Hot American Summer** was fucking brilliant. I mean, the DVD’s got a FART TRACK!!! ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/24 "2003-01-14T05:45:15Z")
Dang, **epraz** beat me to the punch. Anyway, although I love many of their sketches, one of my all-time favorites is: \*“What is this blue meat? Is it fish?” “No, it’s muppet.” \* ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/25 "2003-01-14T07:18:29Z")
Sorry to copy and paste, but I think I worded it sufficiently back in September: > [@](#): > > Does anyone remember the MTV show You Wrote It, You Watch It featuring Jon Stewart and members of The State? I still laugh thinking of one viewer who related her nightmare in which the B-52’s Fred Schneider was stalking her. One scene showed her sitting in a public restroom, looking under the divider and seeing Schneider’s dancing feet as he sang “Everybody’s taking a poo-poo!” Source thread [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=137142). Basically, the show was hosted by Jon Stewart, people wrote in, and the members of The State performed the scenes. Some of it (like the B-52 skit) was among the best work done by The State. ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/26 "2003-01-14T08:21:00Z")
Now here’s the question: Kids in the Hall vs. The State Who triumphs? ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/27 "2003-01-14T08:24:22Z")
This thread has gone on way too long without a wet blanket. I hated, hated, **hated** that show. Nothing but a bunch of smug doofi who thought that being “zany” enough would make up for the lack of solid material. Even “The Ben Stiller Show” tempered their holier-than-thou schtick with a good joke every once in a while. And the worst is that they managed to snake their tendrils out into the media and plant their unholy brood on every other channel – one of the guys does those stupid Snickers commercials, and another smarmy one has been on VH-1 all weekend with that “I Love the 80’s” crapfest with all the other media bottom-feeders telling insipid “jokes” about whatever video or fad they’re talking about for that 15-minute block. Yelch. When I was a freshman in college, one of the guys in my dorm was an insufferable glory hound who’d trot around doing unsolicited impressions and telling tedious “anecdotes” that all had the same general theme of how much smarter and cooler he was than anyone else. That guy went on to be one of the castmembers of “The State.” One of them was unpleasant enough to be around; I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to suffer through all of them in the same place. The whole bit with the pudding could’ve been funny, though, if they’d tried harder. ---
**Author:** ![AchimbaProphet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@AchimbaProphet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AchimbaProphet)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/28 "2003-01-14T10:42:02Z")
This is a series I would love to have on DVD in its entirety. One day perhaps. The Monkey Torture skit was my all-time favorite. Brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/29 "2003-01-14T11:00:31Z")
My favorite skit was “win a date with the state”. They were not KITH but damn funny in the own right. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/30 "2003-01-14T14:10:49Z")
_If, for example, I were to say I was going to, oh, I don’t know, kill the president…_ (Message to all FBI agents reading this thread. This is just a quote from a show, I don’t actually want to kill the presiden…) _SDMB members laugh as SWAT team converges on Eonwe and takes him away_ ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/31 "2003-01-14T14:45:43Z")
First guy: (forlornly) “Shot down again. Sigh” Second guy: “Have you considered wearing pants?” * * * “240 dollas worth-a puddin” * * * “What’s for dinner?” “Butter!” 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lesa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/34f0e0/32.png) [@lesa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lesa)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/32 "2003-01-14T14:48:54Z")
I still have a few episodes of this on tape. We watched them for New Years! I really love the Japanese theater version of all the characters. I also love The Nutcracker In A Tiny Tiny Room. Be sure to check out the link epraz gave. It has little quicktime movies of the sketches! ---
**Author:** ![Fretburner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fretburner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretburner)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/33 "2003-01-14T15:09:23Z")
“Monkey Torture? You mean like whips and chains?” “No. It’s mostly psychological.” ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/34 "2003-01-14T15:58:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by da\_pope \* > \*\*the state was a great show. > > ian michael black shows up on comedy central here and there. \*\* And of course, he’s on **Ed**. ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/35 "2003-01-14T16:43:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Apos \* > \*\*Now here’s the question: Kids in the Hall vs. The State > Who triumphs? \*\* EASY-PEASY, it’d be The State. I mean, c’mon - there were like eleven of them. And they had baseball bats. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/36 "2003-01-14T16:49:04Z")
I LOVE the State… a few quick corrections: There were at least 2 seasons on MTV and Upright Citizens Brigade was completly different people. So tragic that CBS screwed them. Best sketch comedy show ever. hands down. Their book _State by State with the State_ is quite good. I went to a book signing for it and got mine signed by all of them. they did some request sketches from memory for us, too. That was so cool! Porcupine Racetrack is by far their best work. > [@](#): > > Priest:_I know that I’m a sinner, > but Lord, I need a winner, > or the orphanage will clooooose. > So God, if your above, > and it’s orphans that you love… > Please bless the porcupine I chooooooose_ ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/37 "2003-01-14T17:10:59Z")
\ I should hurt you all for these misquotes! There’s just too many to correct! And the State went on for four seasons, plus the CBS show, plus an MTV live performance at, I believe, a spring break (The shakespeare/penis sketch)… this is in addition to all the lame shit they’ve done since. I’m praying that Tom is good in that new Jason Lee movie (I really like Jason Lee, but that movie just looks lame) However you’re all doing my all-time favorite sketch comedy a good service by remembering it so I guess I can let it pass. 😉 _a few more classics…_ **Host:** Name a form… of transportation? **Tom:** … (looks around) …Blue? **Host:** Ooooh… i’m sorry… blue is _not_ a form of transportation **Tom:** You’re kidding about the beards, right? **Marshall:** No. Men cannot grow beards in space. **Ben:** But I have a beard. **Marshall:** Well, then you’re an alien. **Ben:** (long pause) No I’m not. **Marshall:** Yes you are. **Ben:** No, I’m not. **Marshall:** Then, you can’t grow a beard. **David:** But he has a beard. **Marshall:** Then he’s an alien. **Tom:** He’s not. He’s from Pittsburg ---
**Author:** ![phlebert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phlebert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phlebert)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/38 "2003-01-14T18:37:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*No, it wasn’t Doug who dipped his balls in things, it was Louie. \*\* \ My mistake. And aplogies **elfkin** for the apocryphal mis-reference earlier. I concede to your wisdom. I now remember Viva Variety. The under-rated sketch comedies are running together in an amalgam in my brain I think. Ben Stiller, The State, Viva Variety, Upright Citizens Brigade, et al… I love those shows, but my memory doesn’t seem to be what it used to be… or was it… I don’t remember ---
**Author:** ![St.Urho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@St.Urho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Urho)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/39 "2003-01-14T19:16:44Z")
My favorite was the eating & swimming sketch, where just about everyone is drowning in the pool, while one of the characters is drinking lemonade, saying he’d like to save them, but he knew to wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming (unlike them). ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442/40 "2003-01-14T22:33:22Z")
> [@](#): > > When I was a freshman in college, one of the guys in my dorm was an insufferable glory hound who’d trot around doing unsolicited impressions and telling tedious “anecdotes” that all had the same general theme of how much smarter and cooler he was than anyone else. That guy went on to be one of the castmembers of “The State.” One of them was unpleasant enough to be around; I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to suffer through all of them in the same place. Dude, which one? I liked how they went to a high school prom. And then the Jew, the Italian, and the Redhead Gay went to work for Michael, a WASP in a Charlie’s Angels type thingy. They had to find an Irishman, so they went to a bar. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mtvs-the-state-anyone-remember/148442.md?page=3)