# Mundane changes to comic book origin stories **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 25, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882 "2012-04-25T04:24:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/1 "2012-04-25T04:24:50Z")
Bright, socially-ostracised teen Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive spider during a high school field trip to a laboratory. A small bump arises but disappears after a couple days. Peter goes on to college and eventually becomes a research scientist. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/2 "2012-04-25T04:28:52Z")
Kal El and infant from the planet Krypton who inexplicably looks like a human male lands in Kansas where he is adopted and through fraud his parents create the identity of Clark Kent for him. They never tell him of the strange circumstances of his finding and he never develops powers, he inherits his parents failing farm and marries a local girl named Lana. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/3 "2012-04-25T04:31:22Z")
Young Bruce Wayne is murdered along with his parents. ---
**Author:** ![magnusblitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@magnusblitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magnusblitz)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/4 "2012-04-25T04:35:41Z")
Steve Rogers dies on the operating table from the injection of Super-Soldier serum. The Fantastic Four are bombarded with lethal doses of radiation and die. Dr. Bruce Banner dies in the gamma bomb explosion. (I detect a theme) ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/5 "2012-04-25T04:53:11Z")
Matt Murdock is blinded by chemicals when a child and eventually, with the help of his guide dog, goes on to become a successful attorney for the rights of the disabled. ---
**Author:** ![Makeitstop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bb73d2/32.png) [@Makeitstop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Makeitstop)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/6 "2012-04-25T04:59:14Z")
Tony Stark, CEO of a billion-dollar weapons development company, takes shrapnel wounds to his heart in a terrorist attack and, you guessed it, dies. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/7 "2012-04-25T06:05:10Z")
Charles Xavier’s genes mutate randomly. One thousand generations later, his descendants are quite a bit smarter. As for Charles, he becomes a well-known professor, although due to an accident with a falling rock, he is paraplegic. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/8 "2012-04-25T06:12:22Z")
Test Pilot Hal Jordan is given a ring of power that grants him the ability to create solid objects from green light and to generate force fields. It also enslaves him to Sauron. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/9 "2012-04-25T06:12:43Z")
Test pilot Hal Jordan encounters a dying interplanetary police officer who gives him a magic ring and lantern. Jordan immediately discontinues his recreational use of LSD. The only lasting effect of his drug experimentation is a mild xanthophobia, or fear of the color yellow. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/10 "2012-04-25T06:52:32Z")
Ralph Dibney drinks a case of Gingold soda. He burps a lot for a while but develops no super powers whatsoever. Because seriously, who gets superpowers from drinking soda? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/11 "2012-04-25T06:57:45Z")
Arthur Curry decides to become Aquaman and vows to defend the planet’s oceans from all evil doers. He’s still down there waiting for somebody to commit some kind of ocean-related evil doing. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/12 "2012-04-25T06:59:21Z")
Oliver Queen’s career as a crime fighter is cut short the first time he brings a bow to a gunfight. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/13 "2012-04-25T07:03:41Z")
Instead of taking his family out for an afternoon in Central Park, Frank Castle decides to treat them to a meal at a really nice restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/14 "2012-04-25T07:19:46Z")
The Norse god Thor arrives on Earth and immediately starts plundering and raping Britain, Ireland and northern France. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/15 "2012-04-25T07:29:37Z")
While working in his lab, Central City police scientist Barry Allen is injured in a freakish accident when a bolt of lightning strikes a shelf full of chemicals, raining them down on top of him. Suffering severe burns, Allen eventually recovers, but is horribly disfigured. He retires from the police department on a disability discharge. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/16 "2012-04-25T07:52:53Z")
Patrick “Eel” O’Brian was caught committing burglary and is currently serving a sentence in Attica. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/17 "2012-04-25T07:55:27Z")
Prince Khufu of Egypt died five thousand years ago. His corpse is on display in a museum. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/18 "2012-04-25T07:59:15Z")
Henry Pym was squashed when somebody accidentally stepped on him. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/19 "2012-04-25T08:10:39Z")
An Atlantean gives birth to a stillborn hybrid with wings on his ankles. Gross. A rich guy gets stranded on an island, develops reasonably decent yet primitive archery skills to survive, and once rescued immediately returns to a life of luxury. A young boy’s trapeze artist parents die in a performance. He runs the Ferris wheel. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882/20 "2012-04-25T09:29:17Z")
Dr. Jonathan Osterman, nuclear physicist, is disintegrated in an accident involving an Intrinsic Field Subtractor. His body is never recovered. John Constantine, a troubled youth, runs away to America to study the occult. Today he is a senior fellow at the Ramtha School of Enlightenment. Victor von Doom, genius scientist, is scarred in a laboratory explosion. After creating a steel mask to hide his scar, he becomes impatient and clutches it to his face while the metal is still hot. Severe third-degree burns result in extensive tissue damage and he dies of shock. Born from clay and empowered by the gods with the spirit of Truth, Diana of Themiscyra lives an idyllic life in the land of the Amazons until an American test pilot crashes there. Upon encountering an island full of women, he decides to stay there forever. In 1890s Canada, James Howlett discovers that he has the ability to project razor-sharp bone spurs from his hands, and accidentally decapitates himself while shaving. A troubled genius, Edward Nygma spends his childhood obsessed with puzzles and riddles of all types. He majors in English at Gotham University and is now the Gotham Times’ crossword editor. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-comic-book-origin-stories/619882.md?page=2)