# Mundane changes to the punchlines of old jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 25, 2012, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066 "2012-05-25T14:19:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/1 "2012-05-25T14:19:59Z")
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was looking for food, probably, or maybe it was trying to evade a predator, such as a fox or coyote. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/2 "2012-05-25T14:25:20Z")
This morning I shot an elephant that was wearing my pyjammas. I don’t know why it was wearing my pyjammas. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/3 "2012-05-25T14:32:07Z")
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says “I’ll have one hot dog, please, and I would all of the condiments you have on it.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/4 "2012-05-25T14:33:10Z")
My doctor said I was overweight. I said I wanted a second opinion. He said I could get one but it probably wouldn’t be covered by my insurance. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/5 "2012-05-25T14:34:38Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says “I’ll have one hot dog, please, and I would all of the condiments you have on it.” The vendor says “That’ll be $4.25, sir, but if you plan on paying with a $5 bill, I must warn you in advance that we have a policy of not giving out coins as change.” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/6 "2012-05-25T14:39:00Z")
Why did the pervert cross the road? He was trying to avoid the police officer who wanted to question him about hanging around the playground. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/7 "2012-05-25T14:39:41Z")
Take my wife… for example! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/8 "2012-05-25T14:41:17Z")
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? A snowstorm. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/9 "2012-05-25T14:42:13Z")
What has four wheels and flies? A flying car, perhaps one of the ones discussed in [this blog.](http://wheeltowheel.blogspot.com/2012/04/april-17-flying-cars-our-future.html) ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/10 "2012-05-25T14:45:45Z")
Did you hear about the Polish Olympic weight lifting team? They’re pretty strong. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/11 "2012-05-25T14:46:41Z")
Knock knock. Who’s there? Bob. Bob who? Bob Smith. Come on in! Q. How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Just one. It’s not really a two-man job. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/12 "2012-05-25T14:47:18Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > This morning I shot an elephant that was wearing my pyjammas. I don’t know why it was wearing my pyjammas. Isn’t that changing the set-up, rather than the punchline? I suggest: This morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. It was early, and I hadn’t had a chance to get dressed. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/13 "2012-05-25T14:48:45Z")
> [@Dave\_Hartwick](#): > > Did you hear about the Polish Olympic weight lifting team? They’re pretty strong. Q: Are you a pole vaulter? A: Yes. I assume you guessed from the equipment I was carrying. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/14 "2012-05-25T14:49:37Z")
This morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. The zoo is pressing charges, but at least I didn’t go with my original plan and do it butt naked. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/15 "2012-05-25T14:50:00Z")
A horse walked into a bar. The bartender didn’t speak to him as he knew horses can’t talk. Instead, he led him back out. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/16 "2012-05-25T14:52:18Z")
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper didn’t say anything back. Grasshoppers can’t talk. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/17 "2012-05-25T14:52:41Z")
Do you know who else imprisoned and murdered people based on their ethnicity? Hitler. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/18 "2012-05-25T14:53:01Z")
Q: Who’s on first? A: Sam Jones. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/19 "2012-05-25T14:53:02Z")
A Muslim, a Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. What a fine example of our multicultural society. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066/20 "2012-05-25T14:54:09Z")
My mate started dating a cheetah. I strongly recommended he seek help for his delusional and frankly dangerous behaviour. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mundane-changes-to-the-punchlines-of-old-jokes/623066.md?page=2)