The Presidents Hall of Fame in sunny Clermont, Florida, hearkens back to those halcyon pre-Disney days when roadside attractions didn’t have to make a lick of sense. The museum was built to communicate a simple, powerful message: It’s another two-hour drive to Miami, and you’ll have to stop so your kids can use our bathroom anyway, so you might as well fork over a little extra to view our queer assortment of dubious educational value.
Part wax museum, part historical miniature display, part Americana collection, part tribute to the Golden Age of the three-ring circus-- yes, the name promises presidents, but you also get sideshow freaks at no extra charge. Even the museum’s name is cluttered and misleading: “Presidents Hall of Fame,” as if only the very BEST presidents are honored here, like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (Actually all of them are represented, even the hugely forgettable ones.)
Also, observant patrons will note that the sign over the entrance actually reads “House of Presidents”-- it’s so nice they named it twice! The name “House of Presidents” has kind of a creepy Corman-movie horror vibe, which is not at all dispelled by the disturbingly unlifelike simulacra of our nation’s Chief Executives.
As you enter, you are greeted by America’s current President, Fred Gwynne, and his lovely wife, Señor Wences’ hand. The museum also features the most crude and unconvincing (yet freakishly entertaining) attempts at audio-animatronics ever. If you ever wondered what FDR might look like while simultaneously giving a radio address and suffering a *grand mal * seizure, then look no further.
These exhibits would all be horribly unpatriotic if they weren’t intended with complete sincerity. As it is, they’re a refreshing antidote to the smug Hall of Presidents exhibit at Walt Disney World right down the road. Disney may have their little theme park, but right next door to the House of Presidents Hall of Fame is the breathtaking Citrus Tower! Ride the elevator to the viewing platform, a dizzying 22 stories straight up, and marvel at the vast panorama of the surrounding orange groves. Or purchase some uniquely orange-themed souvenirs in the the gift shop. Or take a tour of the orange groves themselves!
The first time I visited Citrus Tower was the summer right after a big freeze, so the tour guide took us around the frost-killed orange groves, and explained exactly what kinds of oranges we’d have seen growing on each type of tree if they weren’t all dead. That was one surreal day. The robotic presidents next door were the icing on the cake.