# Music bad enough to be considered criminal **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 8, 2006, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954 "2006-01-08T00:59:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/1 "2006-01-08T00:59:01Z")
Right now, I’m working for an AM station that recently changed its format to Adult Standards. In a nutshell, this entails stuff like Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow, Frank Sinatra, Perry Como; music that appeals to an older audience of 55 and older. The other day, I was working in the on-air studio when Bobby Goldsboro’s “The Autumn of My Life” came on. The song, like so many of Goldsboro’s other masterpieces, is about the death of the narrator’s wife. It is depressing. As far as I’m concerned, that song (and, frankly, all of his others) should be removed from the playlist. In fact, the two songs I hate more are “Honey” and “Watchin’ Scotty Grow”. I would sooner rupture my eardrums with an icepick than listen to anything performed, written or thought about by this man. And he has a [website](http://www.bobbygoldsboro.com/). Add your two cents about really bad music. Not merely Barry Manilow bad, but truly, egregiously, criminally awful. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/2 "2006-01-08T01:23:05Z")
“Watchin’ Scotty Grow”…AAAAAAHHHH!!! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/3 "2006-01-08T01:24:08Z")
BTW, I have many friends who are over 55, and not a single one of them listens to Bobby Goldsboro, or would permit it to be played in their presence. Just sayin’. twicks, irate AARP-eligible (but not a member) type ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/4 "2006-01-08T01:24:12Z")
Anal Cunt (although the guys in Anal Cunt would likely consider having their music declared criminal to be quite the compliment). ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/5 "2006-01-08T01:30:01Z")
Sorry, that song makes me want to puncture my ear-drums with a screwdriver. Englebert Humperdinck. “After the Lovin’” makes me wanna wretch. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/6 "2006-01-08T01:40:11Z")
How about those skating rink favorites, _Billy Don’t Be A Hero_ and _The Night Chicago Died_? **twickster** , dood, you gotta join AARP. The low cost car insurance rawks! Padeye card carrying geezer “You kids get off my lawn!” ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/7 "2006-01-08T02:01:01Z")
Another geezer (AARP card carrying type, dagnabit) checking in who would rather dip “Ernie” in a meat grinder than listen to Barry Manilow. By the way, before you get your self in a lot of trouble around here, we prefer to be called, “Athletic Looking Studs.” Just so you know. I have to leave the room when I hear a I-got-a-good-woman-and-I’m-going-home-to-her-just-as-soon-as-I-finish-this-bottle-and-bimbo type country music. Or Achy, Breaky Heart. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/8 "2006-01-08T02:03:39Z")
> [@Padeye](#): > > **twickster** , dood, you gotta join AARP. The low cost car insurance rawks! I refuse to join till I stop getting zits. [/ot] ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/9 "2006-01-08T02:06:00Z")
I didn’t know who Bobby Goldsboro was, so I listened to some Amazon samples. While the music is completely, unremittingly awful, I confess it holds some kind of weird attraction for me. I think it’s the same reason I can’t help watching _The Lawrence Welk Show_ when it’s on; it’s irredeemable pap, but it sounds so completely, heartbreakingly sincere that I can’t help liking it a little bit, in an odd way. I also, incidentally, think “Autumn of My Life” would be totally awesome as the backing music to a savage killing-spree in a movie. It really would. The scene would be ten times scarier than that death-metal that so many directors use during violent scenes. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/10 "2006-01-08T02:12:09Z")
There was a band in the 80’s my sister used to listen to called “Haysie Fantasie” or something like that. I’ve never heard anything worse, to this day. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/11 "2006-01-08T02:24:31Z")
Bobby Goldsboro went to our church in Nashville back in the 60s. I was in a school Christmas play with his son. Nice folks. But yeah, the music’s pretty awful. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/12 "2006-01-08T03:22:47Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Bobby Goldsboro went to our church in Nashville back in the 60s. I was in a school Christmas play with his son. Nice folks. > > But yeah, the music’s pretty awful. yeah but “Summer the first time” was kinda cool. As for criminal music - Ornette Coleman. The only greater criminals are those 60’s hipster critics, who, obviously confused and paralyetic when confronted with the worst music ever made, decided to actually encourage the man to make more. And he did. And it still sucked! mm ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/13 "2006-01-08T03:28:43Z")
Anybody else remember **Seasons in the sun** by Terry Jacks? [http://users.cis.net/sammy/seasons.htm](http://users.cis.net/sammy/seasons.htm) Unfortunately, I remember it all too well. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/14 "2006-01-08T03:35:45Z")
Well, I’m married to an AARP card carrier- I’m 47 myself. And today I heard at Wal-Mart some ungodly nigger fuckin’ fuckin’ nigger music blasted to hurt the ear drums. I’m not being racist, really. Those were some of the lyrics. That stuff needs to die. Right now. ---
**Author:** ![bmoak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@bmoak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmoak)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/15 "2006-01-08T03:46:41Z")
How about Playground in My Mind by Clint Holmes? **My name is Michael! I got a nickel! I’m gonna buy me…** (This is about where I black out from the pain) ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/16 "2006-01-08T03:52:25Z")
> [@Dolores Reborn](#): > > Well, I’m married to an AARP card carrier- I’m 47 myself. > > And today I heard at Wal-Mart some ungodly nigger fuckin’ fuckin’ nigger music blasted to hurt the ear drums. I’m not being racist, really. Those were some of the lyrics. > > That stuff needs to die. Right now. Seconded. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/17 "2006-01-08T03:57:05Z")
If you want your brain to explode (possibly in a good way), then you have to check out [Songs in the Key of Z](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00006NSX1/qid=1136692280/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-6205448-9930335?n=507846&s=music&v=glance). Not necessarily vomit inducing awful, but the stuff is well beyond strange. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/18 "2006-01-08T03:59:49Z")
> [@Dolores Reborn](#): > > Well, I’m married to an AARP card carrier- I’m 47 myself. > > And today I heard at Wal-Mart some ungodly nigger fuckin’ fuckin’ nigger music blasted to hurt the ear drums. I’m not being racist, really. Those were some of the lyrics. > > That stuff needs to die. Right now. Indeed it does. The same goes for music made by famous, hot actresses. While they look good wearing prctically nothing on stage, the damage done to my ears cannot be overlooked. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/19 "2006-01-08T04:00:40Z")
I’ve said it before i’ll say it again Marie Osmonds [Paper Roses](http://ynucc.yeungnam.ac.kr/~bwlee/lyrics/paprose.htm) could be used to torture prisoners. Add “Wild Fire” and “Short People” and anyone would give up all their secrets to make it stop. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954/20 "2006-01-08T04:08:05Z")
Gah! I didn’t realize that Bobby Goldsboro was wallowing in the loss of his wife via song-I’d always thought he was just someone with a penchant for writing weepy, syrupy shit. One that’s near the top of my shit list is ‘Wedding Bell Blues’. The wailing of _c’mon and marry me Bill…_ should see Bill leaving a vapor trail in his attempt to escape such an insipid woman. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-bad-enough-to-be-considered-criminal/338954.md?page=2)