# Music for Vulcans **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 9, 2011, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743 "2011-02-09T09:05:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/1 "2011-02-09T09:05:50Z")
Salutations. Are you a Vulcan? Are you living in Human territories? Are you unable to enjoy or even annoyed by the Human music and the lack of logic shown on the lyrics? Well, we have good news for you: For just 14’95 Federation Credits, you can buy now\*\* Music for Vulcans\*\*. **Music for Vulcans** re-interprets some classic Human tunes for every logical being’s better understanding. Songs like: **Huey Lewis and the News** - _The Power of Human Pon Farr._ **The Beatles** - _A Female Named Lucy is Apparently in Some Sort of Flying Device While Carrying Allotropes of Carbon._ And: **Carpenters** - _In Spatial Proximity to You_ _Why does my relative awareness of aviar fauna increases Every time that you approach my personal space…_ \*\* Buy now! Only 14’95 Federation Credits!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/2 "2011-02-09T10:10:51Z")
From the [Vulcan Pick Up Lines](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=588034&highlight=Vulcan) thread. > [@Vulcan Pick Up Lines](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/8): > > If I stated your humanoid form was highly aesthetic , would you consent to full dermal contact? > [@Vulcan Pick Up Lines](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/24): > > _singing_ > > I question why avians abruptly materialize themselves in this location every time you are in close proximity? > > In a similar manner as me, they have a great desire > To have minimal distance between our humanoid forms. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/3 "2011-02-09T19:25:50Z")
I dunno, I think Vulcans would dig Bach. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/4 "2011-02-09T20:11:33Z")
Supertramp: “The Logical Song” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/5 "2011-02-09T21:54:18Z")
Aerosmith: Sweet Lack of Emotion ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/6 "2011-02-09T21:59:03Z")
FM: [Phasors on Stun](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7HbHMOMD6o). ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/7 "2011-02-09T22:50:02Z")
i think spock’s head would explode if he ever heard “my humps” over the airwaves. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/8 "2011-02-09T23:05:12Z")
Please understand I would usually not inflict this on my worst enemies…but I have the flu, and we’re having yet another Snowmageddon! in my part of the world, so you should suffer, too… [This is NOT the way anyone should ever do “Proud Mary”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFUaHWAJ9_4) ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/9 "2011-02-09T23:14:18Z")
Vulcans love musical Hobbits. [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC73PHdQX04) ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/10 "2011-02-10T00:54:22Z")
Surely “[Heart and Soul](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1VGTqovfP4)” by [T’Pau](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_and_Soul_(T%27Pau_song)) will make the cut! ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/11 "2011-02-10T01:45:05Z")
I think there has to be a mention of [Star Pilot on Channel K](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OL1kk-vEOo). ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/12 "2011-02-10T01:52:13Z")
And if they want to get their freak on without the hassle of _pon farr_, there’s always some [Bork Sex](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ODpgaMoG5A). ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/13 "2011-02-10T01:53:10Z")
[Starfleet](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjijteu0gcQ) by Brian May and Eddie Van Halen ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/14 "2011-02-10T08:12:58Z")
Queen: Crazy Little Thing Called Pon Farr ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/15 "2011-02-10T12:16:51Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Please understand I would usually not inflict this on my worst enemies…but I have the flu, and we’re having yet another Snowmageddon! in my part of the world, so you should suffer, too… > [This is NOT the way anyone should ever do “Proud Mary”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFUaHWAJ9_4) You must be from near where I am. We usually don’t get this much snow. Anyways, [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0dzoF7Ev-E)’s the type of song Spock really likes. Who says Spock/Uhura was only in the new movie? Hah! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/16 "2011-02-10T13:31:07Z")
Since music is largely about invoking emotions and pleasure, why would Vulcans give a rat’s ass about art and music? Illogical. They serve no constructive non-emotional purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/music-for-vulcans/570743/17 "2011-02-10T14:21:34Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Since music is largely about invoking emotions and pleasure, why would Vulcans give a rat’s ass about art and music? Illogical. They serve no constructive non-emotional purpose. I always wondered about that myself. Back around 1988 or so, _Spy_ magazine used to run a feature called “Name That Tune, Mr. Spock,” with entries along the lines of “As This Gathering Is Conducted Under My Auspices, I Shall Be Lachrymose If So Inclined.” (_That_ one didn’t fit the character either, now did it…?)