# Musicals that should have never been made **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 17, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494 "2005-02-17T06:31:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/1 "2005-02-17T06:31:41Z")
As some of you may recall me mentioning, I assist a high school speech team locally. One student is doing a speech on musicals and it is absolutely fantastic! Great facts, great presentation- the works. In one part of the speech, he dicusses “Musicals that should have never been made.” One he mentions is, “Home Sweet Homer.” Anyone seen this? Apparently it is the Odyssy as a musical…with ballet dancing cyclopses. Awesome. (Although if I ever made a musical, it would involve ninjas, pirates and cold fire. That is irrelevent, though). We’ve spent a lot of time researching musicals and have found a few funny stories, but- since most of these plays only lasted a night- it is hard to find info on the truly hilarious musicals. I don’t think this qualifies as homework help, since I am not a student (I’m a coach) and this is not an assignment. So, I’m hoping that my fellow Dopers who are well versed in all that is Broadway can help us out. What are some of the strangest, funniest, down-right odd Broadway musicals that have been out there? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/2 "2005-02-17T06:34:18Z")
One of the most famous examples is the musical version of Stephen King’s [Carrie](http://www.ibdb.com/show.asp?ID=2421). ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/3 "2005-02-17T13:06:42Z")
There’s also [Dance of the Vampires](http://www.danceofthevampires.com) with Michael Crawford. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/4 "2005-02-17T13:18:23Z")
There was a short-lived science fiction musical thast I never saw. It didn’t last long – **Via Galactica**. I saw Richard Rodgers’ (of Rodgers and Hart, and Rogers and Hammerstein) very last musical on its pre-Broadway run – **Rex**. It starred Nicol Williamson as the titular Henry VIII , and was eminently forgettable. They breezed through three of Henry’s six wives during the intermission, and the play wallowed in its share of low humor. By the way, King Richard’s Faire here in Massachusetts put on a musical version of _The Odyssey_ a couple of years ago, and it was a hoot. Our then five-year-old daughter loved it. ---
**Author:** ![RandomLetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@RandomLetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandomLetters)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/5 "2005-02-17T13:19:39Z")
How about [A Shoggoth on the Roof](http://www.cthulhulives.org/Shoggoth/),the musical man was not ment to perform. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/6 "2005-02-17T13:29:53Z")
I haven’t seen myself but I’ve heard that [1776](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068156/combined) would have been much better without the music. ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/7 "2005-02-17T13:31:49Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > One of the most famous examples is the musical version of Stephen King’s [Carrie](http://www.ibdb.com/show.asp?ID=2421). :eek: Not quite on topic, but I thought the Simpson’s ep where Marge played Blanche in the musical version of “Streetcar Named Desire” was hilarious. What an outlandish premise – such a thing could never happen, right? Then Andre Previn went and made an _opera_ out if it! ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/8 "2005-02-17T13:42:14Z")
Elephant! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/9 "2005-02-17T13:45:11Z")
> [@](#): > > I haven’t seen myself but I’ve heard that 1776 would have been much better without the music. Bite thy tongue, and get thee to a copy of **1776** on DVD. One of my all-time favorites (and the DVD restores for the first time scenes that were cut even before the filom was released). And I was in a production of 1776 myself. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/10 "2005-02-17T14:22:08Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > One of the most famous examples is the musical version of Stephen King’s [Carrie](http://www.ibdb.com/show.asp?ID=2421). Douglas (I think it’s Douglas) Skal has an amazing chapter on Carrie: The Musical in one of his books. Among the highlights: the producers couldn’t figure out a way to replicate the infamous pig blood scene without clogging the actress’s body mic, and so were reduced to having other actresses dancing around Carrie daubing her with blood as they sang. I would pay hard cold cash money for the chance to see this show or an OCR. I would add “Jekyll and Hyde” to the list. A few years ago I would have put “Dracula: A Chamber Musical” on there too but the show’s kind of grown on me. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/11 "2005-02-17T14:30:34Z")
There’s always: It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s Superman! at [this page](http://www.redboots.net/smusical/musical.htm) Or [Top Gun: The Musical](http://www.talkinbroadway.com/ob/10_03a_04.html) and I’m sure many others. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/12 "2005-02-17T14:34:43Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > I haven’t seen myself but I’ve heard that [1776](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068156/combined) would have been much better without the music. _gasp_ I feel faint. Someone ought to open up a window! ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/13 "2005-02-17T14:38:47Z")
You all are wonderful! Thank you. It really amazes me what people will actually invest money in. Opening a Broadway show (or even off-Broadway, for that matter) can’t possibly be a cheap endeavor; yet, shows are constantly opening with absolutely rediculous premises. THIS is a perfect example of why capitalism is amazing 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/14 "2005-02-17T14:47:49Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > _gasp_ > > I feel faint. Someone ought to open up a window! For God’s sake, John, sit down! (Vote yes…vote yes…) ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/15 "2005-02-17T14:53:41Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > There’s always: > > It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s Superman! at [this page](http://www.redboots.net/smusical/musical.htm) I actually saw that on Broadway in its original run. Not really all that bad (though you could see the stagehand attaching the wire to Superman when it came time for him to fly), with at least one fine song (“Possibilities”) and nice performances by Linda Lavin and Jack Cassidy. The problem was that Bob Holliday as Superman looked the part, but was only so-so. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/16 "2005-02-17T15:03:29Z")
**Paint Your Waggon**. And it’s not just because Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin both sing in it… the musical just kinda sucks on its own. The story actually isn’t bad, as a Western-themed comedy, but making it a musical was totally superfluous. ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/17 "2005-02-17T15:14:23Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > _gasp_ > > I feel faint. Someone ought to open up a window! No, no, no! Too many flies! While I was working at Barnes & Noble a few years back, I saw in the CD section the original London soundtrack of the musical version of [“Flowers for Algernon.”](http://www.c20th.com/MSflowersforalgernon.htm) Starring Michael Crawford, it lasted all of 29 performances in London, and when it made it to Broadway with a different star and title (“Charlie and Algernon”), it only lasted 17! _More rum!_ ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/18 "2005-02-17T15:19:26Z")
I like _Jekyll and Hyde_, but that’s not the point right now. 🙂 I never understood who wanted to see or make a musical _Titanic_. And if I remember correctly, it wasn’t based on the movie, because it came out prior to the movie’s release. All I can see is people dancing around happily, singing “We’re sinking! We’re sinking!” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/19 "2005-02-17T15:25:26Z")
Who’d want to make a musical about the Titanic? The same guys who’d make a musical about 1776. Peter Stone wrote the “book” for both. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/20 "2005-02-17T15:37:35Z")
> [@RobuSensei](#): > > No, no, no! Too many flies! _But it’s hot as hell In Phil-a-del Phi-a!_ _When did you first notice they were missing, sir?_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494.md?page=2)