# Musicals that should have never been made **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 17, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494 "2005-02-17T06:31:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/61 "2005-02-18T09:33:29Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > You mean is the musical real? Yep. The most famous song from it is probably “They Call the Wind Maria.” Really? I would’ve thought “Wand’rin Star” was more well known. And “I talk to the trees” would be the worst. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/62 "2005-02-18T13:13:48Z")
Long before “Carrie,” the ultimate “musical that should have never been made” was ALW/Alan Ackyborne’s “Jeeves.” The show was a disasterous setting of P.G. Wodehouse to music, and ran only 5 1/2 weeks. Items from the show are ALW collector’s Holy Grails. The cast LP was released after the show had closed, and is very valuable today–I shelled out $200 for mine. A London friend got six programmes from the show at a thrift story for five pounds! There was also a 1972 London musical called [Hulla Baloo](http://www.uktravel.com/londoncontent.asp?attID=146&cat=8&catName=Theatres&offset=8), which was set in a loo, and featured "contributions by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice. " It was so bad that they leave it off their list of works, and I’ve only met one person who actually saw it. He says it was a good thing the show closed quickly. It was the ultimate in bad ideas created and performed badly. ---
**Author:** ![ErinPuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dbc845/32.png) [@ErinPuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ErinPuff)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/63 "2005-02-18T13:39:58Z")
> [@RobuSensei](#): > > And, casting a non-singer in a singing role isn’t always bad. There are rare occasions… For example, James Cagney as George M. Cohen in “Yankee Doodle Dandy.” When my high school did _George M!_ (I would say “worst musical ever,” but I just read through this thread), we had a non-singer as George M. Cohan. He’d been on stage like once before in his life, and it was fairly dreadful. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/64 "2005-02-18T13:42:37Z")
Wasn’t there a musical made about the poor soul who got trapped in a canyon/cave and died? Ahh, yes: [Floyd Collins, the musical.](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000005J4F/104-2369536-0469555?v=glance) Yeah, that probably shouldn’t have been made. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/65 "2005-02-18T14:42:31Z")
I saw Titanic: The Musical. It was OK. Some part were great but others parts really bugged me. When I was in HS. They put on a “Musical Review”. Trust me, not only should this have never happened but the people responsible should be on trial somewhere. (Haig) ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/66 "2005-02-18T16:14:59Z")
I know I’m in the minority but I thought that [Moulin Rouge](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203009/) should have never been made. [Starlight Express](http://musicals.net/?sn=75&show=Starlight+Express) and [Xanadu](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081777/) ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/67 "2005-02-18T16:20:09Z")
May I present for your consideration [Cobra: The Musical](http://www.geocities.com/cobra_musical/home.htm). Yes, it is as bad as you might imagine. ---
**Author:** ![SuperNelson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@SuperNelson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNelson)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/68 "2005-02-18T16:48:36Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Oh, and _Taboo_ is one of the most major flops from recent years, costing producer Rosie O’Donnell millions and millions because she wouldn’t close in rehearsals or after the disastrous opening. Oddly, it was a big hit in London. That would explain the line change in The Producers. I’ve seen it in New York and London. In New York, Bialystock said “Never put your own money into a show! That would be Taboo.” In London, the second line was left out. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/69 "2005-02-18T16:58:37Z")
If we are going to add in movies then the obvious one is **GREASE 2** ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/70 "2005-02-18T17:20:04Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > **GREASE 2** Great. Now I’m going to have the bowling song stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Thanks _ever_ so much. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/71 "2005-02-18T17:40:36Z")
**Debbie Does Dallas** is terrific; very lighthearted, no nudity but close to it. I saw the original at the Jane Street Theater, home of the immortal **HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH**. **Titanic** came out several months before the movie and won the Tony for Best Musical in June of 1997. Rosie O’Donnell adored it and had the cast on several times, performing their opening number, the lovely “Night was Alive” duet, and several custom-made songs, one about giving a check to sick children. **Floyd Collins** I szw in Boston with the Speakeasy Company; it’s hard to get used to but it’s beautiful once you get used to Guettel’s music. And I for one had a great time at **Taboo!** I thought Euan MacGregor and the rest were very earnest and put the songs across perfectly. It did help a lot, though, that I had gone to the Leigh Bowery documentary playing in the Village the week before and walked into the theater knowing what to expect, what sort of world it was back then; if you didn’t know that mileau at all, I can see why you wouldn’t get into it. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/72 "2005-02-18T18:13:23Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > I know I’m in the minority but I thought that [Moulin Rouge](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203009/) should have never been made. C’mon. [Moulin Rouge](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0044926/) wasn’t a musical. Baz Luhrmann? Never heard of him. He’s probably a character parodying the ruler of Omicron Persei 8 from _Futurama_. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/73 "2005-02-18T18:26:11Z")
[Nunsense](http://nunsense.com) is a cute little slightly risque musical about a group of nuns holding a benefit. It’s very popular with little theater groups and has had some success off-Broadway- it’s not the next Les Mis but it never wanted to be. Unfortunately it’s writer took positive reinforcement as a sign to milk the cow til it died, then try to milk its sunbleached bones. He followed it with _Nunsense 2_, _Nunsense Country Jamboree, The Nuncracker_ and a bunch of other godawful sequels, each worse than its predecessor. He needs to be stopped before he nuns again. A big budget Broadway nominee: [BIG](http://ibdb.com/show.asp?ID=2001) (the musical based on the Tom Hanks movie). It totally didn’t need to exist. I’ve read that there are musicals in the planning stages based on _League of their Own_ and _Pretty Woman_ (also both Garry Marshall productions) but haven’t seen anything recently, so hopefully they got professional help. (How can you sing “I"ll screw you all week for $3,000”?) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/74 "2005-02-18T18:35:19Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > [Nunsense](http://nunsense.com) is a cute little slightly risque musical about a group of nuns holding a benefit. It’s very popular with little theater groups and has had some success off-Broadway- it’s not the next Les Mis but it never wanted to be. > > Unfortunately it’s writer took positive reinforcement as a sign to milk the cow til it died, then try to milk its sunbleached bones. He followed it with _Nunsense 2_, _Nunsense Country Jamboree, The Nuncracker_ and a bunch of other godawful sequels, each worse than its predecessor. He needs to be stopped before he nuns again. Heh! I LOVE _Nunsense_. We went down to Wilmington to catch the 20th Anniversary tour at the DuPont, even. I’m a _Nunsense_ freak. I have the cast recording memorized. But even I have say that everything after _The Second Coming_ is crap, and even that is pretty much just the first one with the serial numbers filed off. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/75 "2005-02-18T19:28:26Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > May I present for your consideration [Cobra: The Musical](http://www.geocities.com/cobra_musical/home.htm). > > Yes, it is as bad as you might imagine. My eyes! They burn! ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/76 "2005-02-18T20:34:30Z")
It’s not as current as one might like, given some of the entries listed in this thread, but you should get yourself a copy of Ken Mandelbaum’s classic: [Not Since Carrie: Forty Years of Broadway Musical Flops](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0312082738/qid=1108759573/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-3480355-0231913)(1992). Endless hours of fun reading. ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/77 "2005-02-18T21:21:59Z")
I for one would LIKE to see a musical version of “Shaun of the Dead!” Think of the great 80s music it could include! “Blue Monday! That’s the second album I ever bought!” \ “Dire Straights?” “Throw it.” Patty ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/78 "2005-02-18T22:01:42Z")
In the early 1980s my then girlfriend and I caught a rock musical called \*\*Kent State \*\*in Hartford. The show was supposedly on track for an opening on Broadway. For those too young to remember Kent State University, it was where National Guardsmen fired upon American university students in Ohio killing a handful of them during the Viet Nam War. The musical depicted the activities leading up to the killings using the personel on stage singing the songs of the time. We found it very good and I remember it getting a number of curtain calls, but I mention it here because if it were on the track to Broadway, that track must have been handled by Amtrack and it must be on a siding somewhere. TV ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/79 "2005-02-18T22:17:55Z")
Well, okay… I rather liked this one, but some folks really didn’t get it. Co-ed Prison Sluts, the Musical. Unfortunately no longer playing in the Chicago area, but I hear it’s in California somewhere? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/80 "2005-02-19T01:24:48Z")
[Red Zone Cuba: The Musical](http://www11.brinkster.com/kundo3/rzc/main.html) [Metropolis: The Musical](http://www.musicalheaven.com/m/metropolis.html) [The War of the Worlds](http://uk.geocities.com/magoos_universe/warmusic.htm) There was even a local production of [Falling Through a Hole in the Air: The Incredible Journey of Stephen Hawking,](http://www.ccsf.cc.ca.us/Events_Pubs/Guardsman/s980227/ae04.htm) a few years back. It seems to have almost no web presence, but I remember reading the newspaper story on it, a few years back. And on broadcast TV, episodes of _Daria_, _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_, and part of the _Futurama_ finale were done as musicals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494.md?page=5)