# Musicals that should have never been made **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 17, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494 "2005-02-17T06:31:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/81 "2005-02-19T01:34:45Z")
I admit that I have never seen Sondheim’s “Assassins,” but the concept is a huge turn-off. I don’t want to see characters based on Squeaky Fromme and Lee Harvey Oswald bursting into song. Reminds me of “Springtime for Hitler.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/82 "2005-02-19T01:37:18Z")
I remember seeing one song from Assassins and thinking “Right now, Squeaky Fromme is singing about ‘Charlie,’ and she’s duetting with David Hinckley singing about Jodie. Why am I the only one laughing?” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/83 "2005-02-19T01:42:28Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I remember seeing one song from Assassins and thinking “Right now, Squeaky Fromme is singing about ‘Charlie,’ and she’s duetting with David Hinckley singing about Jodie. Why am I the only one laughing?” And it’s actually a very beautiful song (well, if you can ignore the lines about being undeserving of Manson’s love). I’ve seen the play and it’s dark but it works- it’s completely satirical and is about the glamorization & ultimate futility of violence. It has never been that successful in professional productions however, and parts of it were actually cannibalized into the far more successful _Into the Woods_. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/84 "2005-02-19T01:53:45Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Great. Now I’m going to have the bowling song stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Thanks _ever_ so much. 😉 Well I now have Reporduction stuck in my head. mixed in with Who’s that guy? ---
**Author:** ![Hoops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoops/32/6408_2.png) [@Hoops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoops)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/85 "2005-02-19T03:56:56Z")
> [@Art Vandelay](#): > > I only have sketchy knowledge of this one, but…Vh1 did one of their “100 most…blah blah” specials on the most atrocious moments in rock & roll history. One of the moments on their list involved an opera / musical “conceived, written, scored & performed (on bad 1970s synthesizers)” by one of the members of Emerson, Lake & Palmer. It was a musical adaptation of the Camelot legends…performed _on ice!_ Yes, an ice-capades opera by a member of one of the most pretentious bands of all time. That certainly must have been a show to see. You’re close, **Art** ; the perpetrator in question was actually Yes’ cape-wearin’ beer-swiggin’ Moog-abusin’ keyboardist Rick Wakeman. The [album in question](http://www.progreviews.com/reviews/display.php?rev=rw-myths) is the succinctly titled _The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table_, and it was indeed mounted live as an all-singing all-dancing ice skating extravaganza. Truly there was much joy to be had in the seventies. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Sparky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Saint\_Sparky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Sparky)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/86 "2005-02-19T08:21:42Z")
> [@Mehitabel](#): > > **Debbie Does Dallas** is terrific; very lighthearted, no nudity but close to it. I saw the original at the Jane Street Theater, home of the immortal **HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH**. > > **Titanic** came out several months before the movie and won the Tony for Best Musical in June of 1997. Rosie O’Donnell adored it and had the cast on several times, performing their opening number, the lovely “Night was Alive” duet, and several custom-made songs, one about giving a check to sick children. > . Thanks for the recommend! I will have to go see it now! (I acutally just found an online video review with a few scenes from the show and it looked fun. Not exactly Les Mis, but not Mumma Mia! either. I definately will go see now. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/87 "2005-02-19T11:27:38Z")
> [@Saint Sparky](#): > > Not exactly Les Mis, but not Mumma Mia! either. Now I’m wondering if a musical based on the life of Mumia Abu-Jamal would be any good. ---
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/88 "2005-02-19T11:59:20Z")
I can’t believe no one’s mentioned that Kathy Lee Gifford has written and staged a musical. Of course, I can’t believe I can’t remember the title or anything, either, but maybe that’s becaues my brain has bleached that stuff away. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/89 "2005-02-19T13:12:50Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > I know I’m in the minority but I thought that [Moulin Rouge](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203009/) should have never been made. > > [Starlight Express](http://musicals.net/?sn=75&show=Starlight+Express) > > and > > [Xanadu](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081777/) Starlight Express has a huge following! It ran for 13 years in Las Vegas, and 15 in Germany. While it might not have been the best musical of all time, I don’t agree it shouldn’t have been made at all. It racked up 2 1/2 years on Broadway–that is considered a hit for anyone but ALW. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/90 "2005-02-19T18:59:43Z")
> [@TV time](#): > > While technically not a Broadway musical, both the writer/director and main star had hopes of heading that direction according to later interviews. > > It was that classical movie musical **At Long Last Love** written and directed by Peter Bogdanovich and starring Burt Reynolds, Cybill Shepard, Madeline Kahn with Eileen Brennan, John Hillerman, Mildred Natwick and M. Emmet Walsh. > > I have seen interviews in which both Bogdanovich and Reynolds say it is the worst piece of do do they have ever done done (and remember one of the individuals admitting this is Burt Reynolds and he do know do do). I believe Shepard said it was just a part of her life she would like to forget. > > I have seen this film, and honestly, it is like watching a train wreck without the entertainment value. If you do find a copy of this to watch, do not do so without major amounts of medication. > > TV Anybody see “Irreconcilable DIfferences”? It SEEMS to have been based on Peter Bogdanovich and Cybill Shepherd! That is, O’Neal plays a successful director who falls in love with a young blonde bimbo, for whom he leaves his wife. The bimbo’s dream is to star in a big budget musical, so the director actually makes her the star of a musical adaptation of “Gone With the Wind.” The musical is a flop, of course, and pretty much ends O’Neal’s career. Sounds to me like a fictionalized account of Bogdanovich’s descent into “At Long Last Love.” ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/91 "2005-02-19T20:33:17Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > [Red Zone Cuba: The Musical](http://www11.brinkster.com/kundo3/rzc/main.html) > > [Metropolis: The Musical](http://www.musicalheaven.com/m/metropolis.html) > > [The War of the Worlds](http://uk.geocities.com/magoos_universe/warmusic.htm) > > There was even a local production of [Falling Through a Hole in the Air: The Incredible Journey of Stephen Hawking,](http://www.ccsf.cc.ca.us/Events_Pubs/Guardsman/s980227/ae04.htm) a few years back. It seems to have almost no web presence, but I remember reading the newspaper story on it, a few years back. > > And on broadcast TV, episodes of _Daria_, _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_, and part of the _Futurama_ finale were done as musicals. Actually, I thought the War of the Worlds Musical was pretty good. It was a hell of a lot better then “Indepedence day” and unlike every movie version made yet, it actually took place in the 1890’s. ---
**Author:** ![rackensack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@rackensack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rackensack)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/92 "2005-02-19T23:01:59Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Anticipating that some Broadway maven will eventually come in and mention [The Capeman](http://www.ibdb.com/production.asp?ID=5147), I’ll do it. I saw it in previews (it had 59 previews because of bad reception and rewrites and things, I guess, and only 68 performances). My brother and I liked it. In particular I liked Paul Simon’s music, which makes sense because I like what I’ve heard of Paul Simon’s stuff and I don’t like typical musicals and typical musical music, because I think sucks. I remember being very interested in this one when I heard about it well before it opened, not because of Paul Simon but because Nobel Prize-winning poet/playwright [Derek Walcott](http://nobelprize.org/literature/laureates/1992/walcott-bio.html) collaborated with Simon on the book and lyrics. Walcott has been one of my favorite poets for a couple of decades now. But the terrible reviews caused me to skip it, even though I happened to be in NY during its brief run (Jan-Mar 98). ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/93 "2005-02-20T01:26:12Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > And don’t get me started on the movie version of **Camelot** … Hijack: I misread that as **Spamalot**. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/94 "2005-02-20T01:48:31Z")
[Rockabye Hamlet](http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node=Rockabye%20Hamlet) > [@](#): > > There is no reason to do Hamlet as rock opera, there just isn’t. Though it did provide a gig for Meat Loaf who played the Priest. [Forever Plaid?](http://www.musicalheaven.com/f/forever_plaid.shtml) [Also available via Amazon](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000003F2X/104-6600694-5843136?v=glance) ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/95 "2005-02-20T01:53:03Z")
Umm… I like four part harmony groups. I find myself thinking I’d **like** Forever Plaid. I have mentioned I don’t really worry about having cultured taste, right? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/96 "2005-02-20T01:54:09Z")
> [@margin](#): > > I can’t believe no one’s mentioned that Kathy Lee Gifford has written and staged a musical. Of course, I can’t believe I can’t remember the title or anything, either, but maybe that’s becaues my brain has bleached that stuff away. [The Family Under the Bridge - review](http://www.talkinbroadway.com/ob/01_06_05.html) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/97 "2005-02-20T03:02:05Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Actually, I thought the War of the Worlds Musical was pretty good. It was a hell of a lot better then “Indepedence day” and unlike every movie version made yet, it actually took place in the 1890’s. My bad—I was just posting my list of the oddest musicals I could remember hearing about. ---
**Author:** ![baronsabato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@baronsabato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/baronsabato)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/98 "2005-02-20T04:56:06Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Long before “Carrie,” the ultimate “musical that should have never been made” was ALW/Alan Ackyborne’s “Jeeves.” So how does the original “Jeeves” differ from the recent revival “By Jeeves”? I’m no big fan of ALW’s work, but I really like the recording I have of “By Jeeves”. As far as musicals that never should’ve been made, I second “Big”, one of the worst cast recordings I have ever heard and nominate “Doonesbury: the musical”. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/99 "2005-02-20T05:05:50Z")
A few years ago I read about a casting call for a stage version of Star Trek which would feature a singing Uhura. I don’t know if it ever made it to the stage or not. Of course, Uhura did sing on the TV (Charlie X) and there was that episode with the singing space hippies. They should never have been made. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Fat\_Harry\_Deal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f475e1/32.png) [@Big\_Fat\_Harry\_Deal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Fat_Harry_Deal)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/100 "2005-02-20T06:55:58Z")
TV Time, one of my all-time favorite review quotes was one that described Burt Reynolds’ dancing in At Long Last Love as “like a drunk killing cockroaches.” I think there was an equally pithy description of his singing, but can’t remember it. Do you know that quote? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494.md?page=6)