# Musicals that should have never been made **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 17, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494 "2005-02-17T06:31:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/101 "2005-02-20T07:13:12Z")
Was the “Phantom Tollbooth” ever a musical? ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/102 "2005-02-20T16:14:26Z")
Since there are movies in this thread, I’d nominate anything made by Ken Russell (that’s Ken, not Kurt). Is anyone old enough to remember Listzomania? It was a movie starring Roger Daltry as Franz Listz, Ringo Starr was the Pope, and Rick Wakeman (the ice capades guy from Yes) was a cryogenic Viking. There was even somebody wearing a dress and riding a giant phallic symbol. There’s a description on [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) Sorry if I made anyone remember who was trying to forget. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/103 "2005-02-20T17:19:45Z")
I can honestly say that I feel so uninformed when it comes to musicals! I had no idea we had this many musical afficiandos. Thank you all so much for your help, you’ve all given us tons of wonderful ideas. I’ll keep you all posted on how he does. 🙂 I, in my short, sheltered lifetime, have not seen too many musicals. I saw the Sound of Music on Broadway and a couple here locally (Jesus Christ Superstar, et al.). I almost wish I had known of these other, horrible musicals so I could have seen then. Fantastic. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/104 "2005-02-20T18:04:33Z")
> [@baronsabato](#): > > So how does the original “Jeeves” differ from the recent revival “By Jeeves”? I’m no big fan of ALW’s work, but I really like the recording I have of “By Jeeves”. Webber et al finally figured out that doing a humorless version of Wodehouse was a dumb idea, and kicked the pretentiousness back about 300%. “By Jeeves” is _funny_, the songs have been reworked as light, bouncy pieces (as opposed to their faux-operatic original versions). “By Jeeves” is well worth listening to. “Jeeves” just sucks. ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/105 "2005-02-20T18:06:30Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Was the “Phantom Tollbooth” ever a musical? Apparently there is. [Show Finder | Music Theatre International](http://www.mtishows.com/show_home.asp?ID=000250) **HPL** , I believe the finger you’re referring to is the “ring finger.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/106 "2005-02-21T13:04:48Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Webber et al finally figured out that doing a humorless version of Wodehouse was a dumb idea, and kicked the pretentiousness back about 300%. “By Jeeves” is _funny_, the songs have been reworked as light, bouncy pieces (as opposed to their faux-operatic original versions). “By Jeeves” is well worth listening to. “Jeeves” just sucks. “Jeeves” the musical sucked. I love the cast LP of “Jeeves.” “By Jeeves” is about 50% original, 50% recycled “Jeeves.” ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2005, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/107 "2005-02-21T13:53:49Z")
Obviously, there have been hundreds of musicals that flopped, and that we now say, in retrospect, were ridiculous ideas. To us, it seems OBVIOUS that a musical based on Steven King’s “Carrie” was a sure-fire disaster. But really, if you look at the musicals that have won Tony awards and/or achieved “Classic” status, you’ll see plenty that sound absurd! If you were a Broadway producer and didn’t know that the musicals I’m about to describe were classics, you’d probably laugh in my face and kick me out of your office if I made the following pitches: 1. “Here’s the idea- we’re gonna remake Romeo & Juliet… only get this: instead of rival families in Verona, we’re gonna have Puerto Rican street gangs in New York!” 2. “Okay, here’s the idea: we take this old collection of T.S. Eliot poems about cats, set them to music, and have people in cat suits singing and dancing for 2 hours. The story? Uh, well, there isn’t one. Just 2 hours of people dressed like cats, singing and dancing, using lyrics from a dead poet.” 3. “Ready for this? We take Puccini’s La Boheme and move it to Greenwich Village- only instead of a student falling in love with a consumptive seamstress, everybody is gay, and they all dance around singing about AIDS.” Can’t miss, right?" If “West Side Story,” “Cats” or “Rent” had bombed, is there any doubt people in this thread would be laughing at the idiots who gave those shows the green light? All kinds of smash hits sound absurd when you describe them out of context. And I have no doubt that all the flops LOOKED good on paper. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/108 "2005-02-21T16:05:04Z")
**astorian** You know, I hadn’t thought of it that way, but it is true. Most of the shows do have pretty absured premises, but some of the ideas presented are just OUT there. It is beyond me that anyone would think Carrie could be a success; then again, you never know if you don’t try. ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/109 "2005-02-21T17:10:54Z")
I thought that **RENT** was an absolute piece of junk that should never have been made! I embarrassed a group of friends by booing at the end of the production, while everyone else was cheering and applauding. The worst musical, and poorest excuse for a musical, was the rock opera version of _Othello_, called **[Catch My Soul](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071289/)**. It tried so hard to be cool and hip that it drove people away. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/110 "2005-02-21T17:50:07Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > 1. “Ready for this? We take Puccini’s La Boheme and move it to Greenwich Village- only instead of a student falling in love with a consumptive seamstress, everybody is gay, and they all dance around singing about AIDS.” Can’t miss, right?" > . “Everyone has AIDS! AIDS! AIDS! AIDS!” ---
**Author:** ![MusicJunkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@MusicJunkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MusicJunkie)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/111 "2005-02-21T18:34:51Z")
**Nixon In China** is great! I own a recording and listen to it all the time. They actually make Nixon a sympathetic, heroic carachter. It’s very serious, nothing campy about it and has some actual beautiful moments. My favorite moment is probably Nixon’s “News, news, news” aria. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/112 "2005-02-21T18:54:27Z")
> [@Art Vandelay](#): > > It was a musical adaptation of the Camelot legends…performed _on ice!_ Yes, an ice-capades opera by a member of one of the most pretentious bands of all time. That certainly must have been a show to see. Sadly, I have the LP soundtrack to this stuffed away in a box in my attic. I went through a very pretentious art-rock phase as a teen and listened to all sorts of embarrassing crap like this. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/113 "2005-02-21T20:24:04Z")
> [@Big Fat Harry Deal](#): > > TV Time, one of my all-time favorite review quotes was one that described Burt Reynolds’ dancing in At Long Last Love as “like a drunk killing cockroaches.” I think there was an equally pithy description of his singing, but can’t remember it. Do you know that quote? I’m sorry, but I don’t, but as I remember, it was limited at best. But then again they were all very weak. I kept hoping that Kahn would prove tolerable, but that was not to be. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/114 "2005-02-21T22:58:07Z")
> [@TwoTrouts](#): > > I thought that **RENT** was an absolute piece of junk that should never have been made! I embarrassed a group of friends by booing at the end of the production, while everyone else was cheering and applauding. From _Joan of Arcadia_: “The director [of the school play] was in RENT, or he needs rent, or something…” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/115 "2005-02-21T23:16:16Z")
> [@Big Fat Harry Deal](#): > > TV Time, one of my all-time favorite review quotes was one that described Burt Reynolds’ dancing in At Long Last Love as “like a drunk killing cockroaches.” I think there was an equally pithy description of his singing, but can’t remember it. Do you know that quote? John Barbour was the one who said about the cockroaches, as well as Burt Reynolds sounding like “Dean Martin with adenoids.” ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2005, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/116 "2005-02-22T01:16:27Z")
In my opinion, anything by Stephen Sondheim. Yeah, I know… lyrical genius… modern master of musical theatre… Sweeney Todd… Send In The Clowns… countless awards… blah blah blah… but my opinion stands. Either there’s something wrong with his hearing, or just with his mind, or he has enjoyed playing a marvellouslu sustained practical joke on all the musical ‘luvvies’ and will one day cacklingly admit that he can’t write a song to save his life, let alone a musical. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/117 "2005-02-22T01:39:54Z")
Worst movie musical: **Lost Horizon** set to Bert Bacharach music ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2005, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/118 "2005-02-22T03:04:16Z")
> [@TwoTrouts](#): > > I thought that **RENT** was an absolute piece of junk that should never have been made! I embarrassed a group of friends by booing at the end of the production, while everyone else was cheering and applauding. I agree. I mean, on its own, it’s just sort of mediocre. But to be that mediocre in a production that tacks a completely contrived happy ending onto a retelling of La Boheme is unforgivable. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/119 "2005-02-22T03:16:28Z")
> [@ianzin](#): > > In my opinion, anything by Stephen Sondheim. > > Yeah, I know… lyrical genius… modern master of musical theatre… Sweeney Todd… Send In The Clowns… countless awards… blah blah blah… but my opinion stands. Either there’s something wrong with his hearing, or just with his mind, or he has enjoyed playing a marvellouslu sustained practical joke on all the musical ‘luvvies’ and will one day cacklingly admit that he can’t write a song to save his life, let alone a musical. Sondheim is very experimental, and some of his experiments just don’t work. He can be hit or miss. Going by the entries of his that I’ve seen staged (I’ve heard plenty of his songs out of context) on the Internet Broadway Database… **West Side Story** (lyrics only): a classic **Do I Hear a Waltz** (lyrics only): wrong-headed and lame **Company** : Wear its daring on its sleeve, but some great moments **A Little Night Music** : Exquisite, magnificent **Sweeney Todd** : An absolute masterpiece **Merrily We Roll Along** : Some OK songs, but the show sucks overall **Sunday in the Park with George** : First act, staggeringly wonderful. Second act, a letdown. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2005, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/120 "2005-02-22T06:25:19Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > **Paint Your Waggon**. And it’s not just because Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin both sing in it… the musical just kinda sucks on its own. The story actually isn’t bad, as a Western-themed comedy, but making it a musical was totally superfluous. I guess you just don’t like Tess, Joe or Maria!! :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494.md?page=7)