# Musicals that should have never been made **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 17, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494 "2005-02-17T06:31:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2005, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/121 "2005-02-22T06:34:32Z")
What ever happened to Top Gun: The Musical? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2005, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/122 "2005-02-22T13:05:21Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Okay, here’s the idea: we take this old collection of T.S. Eliot poems about cats, set them to music, and have people in cat suits singing and dancing for 2 hours. The story? Uh, well, there isn’t one. Just 2 hours of people dressed like cats, singing and dancing, using lyrics from a dead poet. > > All kinds of smash hits sound absurd when you describe them out of context. And I have no doubt that all the flops LOOKED good on paper. Just to clarify, CATS had a very hard time getting backed. Very few investors thought it was a good idea. In the end, Andrew Lloyd Webber mortgaged his house for 1/4, over 5,000 individual investors gave 1/4, and the theatre let the other half slide. Everyone who invested made an amazing return on their money. There was a book CATS: the book of the musical for the London edition, which was quickly deleted because it should the orginal sets and costumes. Talk about cheesey. And the initial reviews were tepid at best. The question of whether RENT would have been a hit if Larsen hadn’t died will be argued into eternity and never be answered. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/123 "2005-02-22T13:16:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Worst movie musical: Lost Horizon set to Bert Bacharach music Have to agree with this – once showed **Lost Horizon** at my annual Bad Film Festival. Not only do you get Burt Bachrach music, you get his longtime collaborator Hal David doing the lyrics. Mad magazine did a great satire on this, including the song parody: _The World is a Rhombus Without a Circumference And Nobody knows what this Simile means But Bachrach and David are making a Fortune…_ What’s ironic is that this movie was made in the hopes that it would _revive_ movie musicals, but ended up putting a stake in its heart. > [@](#): > > Since there are movies in this thread, I’d nominate anything made by Ken Russell (that’s Ken, not Kurt). Is anyone old enough to remember Listzomania? It was a movie starring Roger Daltry as Franz Listz, Ringo Starr was the Pope, and Rick Wakeman (the ice capades guy from Yes) was a cryogenic Viking. There was even somebody wearing a dress and riding a giant phallic symbol. There’s a description on [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) Sorry if I made anyone remember who was trying to forget. I showed this one at one of my Bad Film Festivals, too, the year the theme was Failed Cult Films. Russdell always had a love of weird visuals. The giant phallus you refer to was not ridden, but _worn_ by Roger Daltry (playing Liszt) in a dream sequence. scantily-clad women ride on it and wrap it with ribbon a la maypole, and finally lead it toward a giant guillotine. The prop pecker ended up in Daltrey’s garage, I’m told. BNut this is just the tip (hah!) of the weird visual iceberg. We also had Ringo in an over-the-top outfit as the Pope, and composer Rick Wakeman (who did the score) done up as the Frankenstein Monster, animated by Wagner. I don’t get the point of the symboplism, and I’m, bettiong Russell didn’t, either. Wakeman’s score, though, isn’t bad. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/124 "2005-02-25T00:16:24Z")
Did anyone say [Cop Rock](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098772/) yet? I never saw it, but I know its reputation. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/125 "2005-02-25T00:33:52Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > There was a book CATS: the book of the musical for the London edition, which was quickly deleted because it should the orginal sets and costumes. You know, this may answer a question that’s been nagging me for a while. For Christmas, my partner **supervenusfreak** got me the 5-cd collection of music from the PBS miniseries “Broadway: The American Musical”. A photo of the cover montage is shown [here](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/B0002W4T9E/ref=dp_product-image-only_0/002-4825016-1224068?%5Fencoding=UTF8&n=5174). The nagging question is, is the figure in the middle Betty Buckley in the aforementioned OLD Grizabella costume? Because the face looks like Betty Buckley, but that looks like no costume I’ve ever seen in the publicity shots for _Cats_, other than _maybe_ Old Deuteronomy. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/126 "2005-02-25T02:54:01Z")
Back in the '70s, at the Unversity of Maryland at College Park, I saw a musical production of _The Wizard of Id._ I think it was written by somebody at the college . . . not bad, but I wouldn’t expect to see it on Broadway. ---
**Author:** ![Grither](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grither/32/425_2.png) [@Grither](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grither)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/127 "2005-03-03T22:28:19Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > The nagging question is, is the figure in the middle Betty Buckley in the aforementioned OLD Grizabella costume? Because the face looks like Betty Buckley, but that looks like no costume I’ve ever seen in the publicity shots for _Cats_, other than _maybe_ Old Deuteronomy. Isn’t that the second outfit for the Gumby Cat? Because I seem to remember that in the middle of her number, she drops the fat-suit and dance around in another suit that always reminded me of Tina Turner’s Acid Queen dress in Tommy. I’m not sure whether to fear that I’m wrong or that I’m right and will have outed myself as a fan of _Cats_ more. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494/128 "2005-03-03T23:06:32Z")
Just last night I saw the musical remake of _Goodbye, Mr. Chips_, starring Peter O’Toole, who spoke all of his lines…very…slowly…and…deliberate…ly–and “sang” a couple of songs even more slowly. All of the songs (by John Williams and Leslie Bricusse) were immediately forgettable and the script (by Terrance Rattigan) was pretty bad too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musicals-that-should-have-never-been-made/290494.md?page=6)