I’m a working bass player in a blues-rock power trio, and I’ll give you some realistic answers to the questions in your post.
I just saw this blues band at show - they’re called “Indigenous” - Native Americans. The frontman is the guitarist, and the drummer is his petite sister. Sis doesn’t have fancy chops at all. She pounds out steady, simple beats, very forcefully. I was amazed. If this tiny girl can sit down and pound monstrous beats like that, I’m thinking anyone can.
Rudiments? Don’t bother until later. If you want to get incredibly bored so you’ll quit right away, by all means, go out and get yourself a practice pad and some rudiments books.
Instead, you should get yourself a simple drumset and a loud stereo. Play along with music that you like and that you know is simple. Lots and lots of rock songs can be played by nearly anyone with a little practice. You’re kicking the bass drum on one and three, hitting the snare on two and four, and hitting the partially-open hihat on twice on each beat (one-and-two-and-three-…).
That’s it. Pound away on that, and ideas for fills and shit will come later. If you’re finding that you must employ fancier stick work, THEN go and learn the appropriate rudiments.
You’re looking to have fun, in your house, like you said. Follow this advice and you’ll have fun. Start off banging on a pad trying to make sense of endless streams of eighth and sixteenth notes in books isn’t fun, it’s work. Save the work for later, if you want to go down that road.
Drummers to listen to? Man, it would be hard to find a bad drummer on a record of any sort these days. Even if hate the band and their songs, it seems there’s always a great drummer at the core of the band. A band cannot be taken seriously with a bad drummer. A bad practically anything else is commonplace, but not a bad drummer. So just listen, carefully, to drummers in music you like, and watch them.
And I agree with you. Drums are the coolest instrument.