# Musings on a box of crackers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 29, 2015, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282 "2015-01-29T23:15:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/21 "2015-01-30T14:40:45Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I noticed that after the word “Saltines” on the box, there is a small circle with the letter “U” inside, followed by a “D” (no circle). What do these mean? Uncredible? Unedible? Grade ‘D’? Basically, it means they’re kosher. To be more specific, there’s a saying “If you have 2 Jews, you’ll have 3 different opinions”. The Circle U indicates a foodstuff was inspected and approved under the standards set by the Union of Orthodox Rabbis. Not that those standards are any different then those of a different Jewish group doing the inspection or approval, but there you go. And the D indicates it’s considered a dairy food, and cannot be eaten with meat. I’m guessing butter is used baking them. Sometimes I wonder if they make special Saltines for Australia and New Zealand where they put the salt on the other side or just turn regular Saltines upside down there. Because everything is upside down there. Of course, I still wonder why they don’t fall off the planet there too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/22 "2015-01-30T14:52:59Z")
Hell yes, butter. It used to require a real skill set back in the day, to butter them with cold butter, and not have them break apart- when four little squares were joined into big breakaway squares. I don’t think anyone makes them that way now. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/23 "2015-01-30T15:59:35Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Hell yes, butter. It used to require a real skill set back in the day, to butter them with cold butter, and not have them break apart- when four little squares were joined into big breakaway squares. I don’t think anyone makes them that way now. Those were marketed under the “[Krispy](http://www.plan59.com/images/JPGs/sunshine_1954_fresh_00.jpg)” label. That link would suggest that a small child was included in the box. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/24 "2015-01-30T16:42:02Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Those were marketed under the “[Krispy](http://www.plan59.com/images/JPGs/sunshine_1954_fresh_00.jpg)” label. That link would suggest that a small child was included in the box. What sort of mental disability would a kid have to have in order to show that kind of enthusiasm over a platter of dry crackers? ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/25 "2015-01-30T16:53:06Z")
The look in her eyes suggests mania rather than enthusiasm. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/26 "2015-01-30T18:28:37Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > The look in her eyes suggests mania rather than enthusiasm. Yeah, that’s not a “yum” look; that’s a “I’m coming for you in your sleep” look. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/27 "2015-01-30T18:46:57Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > The only acceptable topping for crackers is Easy Cheese. :eek: Don’t be wasting Easy Cheese on such as a lowly cracker! The only acceptable use for Easy Cheese is to fill the hollow part of Bugles corn snacks. Anyone who does anything differently may as well shove the can up their nether regions and sit until it sprays out their ears (and that, my friends, is a serving suggestion). ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/28 "2015-01-30T19:28:54Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I like to butter and stack them, then eat them three at a time. I also like both butter and peanut butter on them. I’m a sick bastid. OK, but the key is, do you butter the salted side or the insalted side? To me, the only way to do it is butter the unsalted side, and then eat by placing the salted side on your tongue so the butter or peanut butter can then join the salty taste. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/29 "2015-01-30T19:48:48Z")
The serving suggestion is there literally because some yahoo called up Ferrero (or whatever other company) and said, “There is a slice of bread on the outside of the Nutella jar and there is NO BREAD INSIDE THIS JAR! I demand my slice of bread as advertised or I will sue you for false advertising!!” And so the lawyers (or maybe the government) shook their head and said, “Look, just put ‘serving suggestion’ and we can blow these people off all day. Otherwise they might actually have a case.” Same for “enlarged to show texture”. Also, not all kosher certifications are the same. Some are more strict than others. Some Jews will only eat food that has been certified kosher by the orthodox union because they are extremely serious/careful about what they certify. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/30 "2015-01-30T20:04:05Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > OK, but the key is, do you butter the salted side or the insalted side? To me, the only way to do it is butter the unsalted side, and then eat by placing the salted side on your tongue so the butter or peanut butter can then join the salty taste. That’s just kooky talk. **Macca26** : > [@](#): > > Same for “enlarged to show texture”. I always include that disclaimer when sexting somebody. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/31 "2015-01-30T21:29:01Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > That’s just kooky talk. :eek: What on God’s green earth makes sense about buttering the salted side? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/32 "2015-01-30T21:50:43Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > :eek: What on God’s green earth makes sense about buttering the salted side? It has to do with biochemistry and helical asbestosis. I can’t explain it to a layman. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/33 "2015-01-31T06:17:45Z")
This calls for a poll. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/34 "2015-01-31T10:53:36Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > The only acceptable topping for crackers is Easy Cheese. > [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > :eek: Don’t be wasting Easy Cheese on such as a lowly cracker! The only acceptable use for Easy Cheese is to fill the hollow part of Bugles corn snacks. I didn’t know what Easy Cheese was, so I looked it up. It’s cheese in an aerosol can! :eek: Not sure what else to say here. I was good not knowing that existed before. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/35 "2015-01-31T14:22:20Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > I didn’t know what Easy Cheese was, so I looked it up. It’s cheese in an aerosol can! :eek: > > Not sure what else to say here. I was good not knowing that existed before. One of the products I liked (therefore it’s been discontinued) was a squeezable cheese in a tube. The tube was plastic film, and crimped on both ends. The cheese was accessed through a cap in the middle of the tube. A tube of that stuff (in the nacho flavor) and a sleeve of wheat saltines was often lunch. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282/36 "2015-01-31T23:38:50Z")
A few years back I remember munching through a box of Cheez-It crackers, and on the side of the box they had a fun but silly schematic of a cracker pointing to things like the hole in the middle and the weird ribbed edges, saying things like Aerodynamic Edges For Faster Eating, etc. At the top was the headline, “Cheez-It Fun Facts!” Then underneath they made sure to cover their ass with “But Don’t Believe it!” As if some buffoon is going to be impressed that the hole in the middle of a cracker is an “Intake Valve” or some shit, try to pilot and fly it around in his backyard, break his neck (and cracker) then sue Kellogg because their cracker didn’t work as advertised. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musings-on-a-box-of-crackers/711282.md?page=1)