# Musk vs. Zuckerberg. A cage match at the Coliseum **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2023, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365 "2023-06-30T18:31:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wolf333](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf333/32/3460_2.png) [@Wolf333](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolf333)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2023, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/21 "2023-07-01T14:58:22Z")
I would pay to watch Elon get his ass beat by an ostriche. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2023, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/22 "2023-07-01T15:00:17Z")
My worry is that I’d pay money to watch but then Musk and Zuckerberg would deliberately just air-box and tap each other with the lightest of ‘punches’ and never do anything meaningful. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2023, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/23 "2023-07-01T15:32:16Z")
Meh. Another pair of alpha males staging “who has the biggest wiener” contest. Slap 'em on the table, boys, and somebody get the micrometer. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2023, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/24 "2023-07-03T02:26:24Z")
Ok but let’s say that, against all rationality, it’s on. Maybe they both agree to do a little tap-dance performance according to some agreed-upon rules, for charity. All in good fun, not for realsies. Elon’s mother is reassured and gives her consent. But because both are alpha males, with a visceral disdain for their competitor, each is thinking “F— the rules, I am going to flatten that clown first chance I get.” And they come out actually swinging\*. Who do you think would win? I woukd assume Zuckerberg would be victorious as he is younger and works out. Musk is heavier but not much of an athlete by most accounts. Anybody think otherwise? \*Not saying this WOULD happen, but if it did… ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2023, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/25 "2023-07-04T19:50:10Z")
I’m sure Zuck would win. That being said, I’ve always wondered how these boxing matches ensure that competitors put in full effort rather than half-assing it to get money. I’ve heard complaints that Pacquiao vs. Mayweather wasn’t a full-in fight and there was meager effort. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2023, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/26 "2023-07-04T20:17:14Z")
> [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > Would you all watch? > [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > In ancient times in the Colosseum, they would often pit humans against wild animals, including rhinoceroses, hippopotamuses, elephants, giraffes, aurochs, wisents, Barbary lions, panthers, leopards, bears, Caspian tigers, crocodiles and ostriches. I’d watch them fight an aurochs. (Bare-handed.) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2023, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/27 "2023-07-04T20:27:54Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I hate to spoil your fun, but the fight’s already off. Elmo’s mommy won’t let him play outside. Well she was smart, because if they actually fought for real he’d be hurt. Zuckerberg could seriously injure him. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2023, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/28 "2023-07-04T20:48:26Z")
I think Musk’s ego would be seriously hurt, but I doubt Zuckerberg is particulary dangerous. He would win on the basis of being younger, fitter and having beginner level Jiu-jitsu training. Though I doubt that Musk is capable of shame, there is always the possibility that total humiliation might trigger some sort of repressed emotional response. Perhaps we would even see the human side of the obnoxious individual. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2023, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/29 "2023-07-04T21:29:42Z")
> [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > I think it’s more of a “since Meta and Twitter can’t duke it out directly, we can fight it out the old fashioned way instead” idea. Well it appears that they are going to duke it out directly. > **[Meta's Instagram-linked Twitter rival 'Threads' could arrive on July 6th](https://www.engadget.com/metas-instagram-linked-twitter-rival-threads-could-arrive-on-july-6th-063129168.html)** > > A listing for the app called Threads has popped up in the iOS App Store with an estimated release date of July 6th. When I read the thread title I thought it was the Oakland Colosseum, which could use the business with the As leaving. > [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > In ancient times in the Colosseum, they would often pit humans against wild animals, including rhinoceroses, hippopotamuses, elephants, giraffes, aurochs, wisents, Barbary lions, panthers, leopards, bears, Caspian tigers, crocodiles and ostriches. I read the beginning of a novel about the family that took care of the animals who fought in the Colosseum. Christian vs Lion, they backed the lion and hoped it didn’t break a tooth. ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2023, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/30 "2023-07-05T12:11:46Z")
> [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > In ancient times in the Colosseum, they would often pit humans against wild animals, including rhinoceroses, hippopotamuses, elephants, giraffes, aurochs, wisents, Barbary lions, panthers, leopards, bears, Caspian tigers, crocodiles and ostriches. the ostrich for me, please … > [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > They can both brag about that. I think they each want something that the other doesn’t have. And that isn’t going to be anything that can be bought with money. judgement, criterious judgement is what you are thinking, right? > [@aurora\_maire](#): > > I think it started out as an offhand joke but then capitalism got its grubby hands on the idea and now it’s pretty much out of their control. sounds like that’s how Musk bought Twitter ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2023, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/31 "2023-07-05T13:14:37Z")
> [@Al128](#): > > the ostrich for me, please … Ostriches are suprisingly dangerous. They attack with their two-clawed feet in a slashing kick attack. And they are really fast. Especially when a male exhibits pink thighs and neck - mating season - I would carefully avoid ostriches. (I live in a country with both wild and farmed ostriches) ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2023, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365/32 "2023-07-05T16:01:32Z")
Would this have been a bare-hands match, or would they be permitted weapons? If the latter, I suggest sockfuls of wet shit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/musk-vs-zuckerberg-a-cage-match-at-the-coliseum/986365.md?page=1)