# Muslim Cleric Warns: Cucumbers Too Sexy For Women! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757 "2011-12-10T18:31:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/1 "2011-12-10T18:31:36Z")
Read the nonsense:[Muslim Cleric's Warning: Cucumbers Too Sexy for Women | Fox News](http://www.foxnews.com/world/2011/12/08/muslim-cleric-reportedly-bans-women-from-handling-cucumbers/?intcmp=obinsite) My first reaction: this must be a hoax. But, on second thought-this might be a good thing-it will make people question this style of Islam. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/2 "2011-12-10T20:34:21Z")
Just what does it take to become a “Muslim Cleric”? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/3 "2011-12-10T20:48:02Z")
If [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=629783) is any indication, cucumbers are too sexy for most people, much less women. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/4 "2011-12-10T23:16:49Z")
Reminds me of _Superbad_ where Jonah Hill mentions he couldn’t eat any dick-shaped foods as a kid (all the good ones!). If I were a Muslim woman, I would just respond: “Ishh okay… I crushhed it up an’ made cuucumber vodka! Hic!” I’m sure they would be okay now that it’s not phallic. And obviously that wouldn’t fly in places like Turkey, where you couldn’t get cacık (tzatziki) anymore ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/5 "2011-12-11T01:10:13Z")
Oh god, you made me look at [FoxNews.com](http://FoxNews.com)! There’s a joke about my ex-husband and baby carrots around here somewhere, but I’m too lazy to look for it. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/6 "2011-12-11T04:45:04Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Just what does it take to become a “Muslim Cleric”? Alignment Lawful Good, gets power from Allah, must be either human, elf, or dwarf ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/7 "2011-12-11T08:37:33Z")
Cucumber? Ah, to be so young again! The experienced eventually move on to Goya. > **[Let's Sharing](http://www.houseofflameandglass.com/letssharing/index.php?m=08&y=08&category=3)** > > See what happens when two Americans suddenly decide they want to live in northern Japan. Is it the adventure of a lifetime, or just taking affirmative steps to screw up our lives? Only time will tell, but for now you can read about it here. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/8 "2011-12-11T08:42:49Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Alignment Lawful Good, gets power from Allah, must be either human, elf, or dwarf I don’t play table top role playing games, but I got that joke, and it made me laugh. Good one. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/9 "2011-12-11T14:33:36Z")
What about pickles then. Holy shit – so is that why they’re called ‘dilldos’?! ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/10 "2011-12-11T17:53:47Z")
Gherkin rhymes with jerkin’. Curious. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/11 "2011-12-11T18:39:53Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I don’t play table top role playing games, but I got that joke, and it made me laugh. Good one. Same here. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![UFC\_Is\_Sux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/46a35a/32.png) [@UFC\_Is\_Sux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UFC_Is_Sux)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/12 "2011-12-11T18:45:26Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Just what does it take to become a “Muslim Cleric”? Quite likely about the same things it takes to become a man of the cloth in The Land of the Free - nice hair, an Armani suit, and gullible parishioners. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/13 "2011-12-11T19:03:13Z")
Ex cucumber cleaner, sorter and packer checking in. Probably one in a hundred cucumbers are sexy, cucumbers are mostly funny. I packed cucumbers in Greece with a band of gypsies (really), us ladies did the actual handling and the blokes moved the boxes. Now and again one of the women had to be removed from our group for excessive giggling. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/14 "2011-12-11T19:41:28Z")
Would this qualify as a “Cucumber Fatwa”?😃 ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/15 "2011-12-11T19:52:55Z")
Cucumbers have no fat, wha? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/16 "2011-12-11T20:16:11Z")
This man clearly has no idea how the average woman thinks. I would do a poll but I won’t… women: if you see something vaguely phallic-shaped, do you immediately respond by getting horny and wanting to have sex? Or do you just shrug and say “huh. Phallic shaped.” and move on? Or more likely, not even notice the shape? I think this whole thing says a LOT more about this “Muslim cleric” than it does about Muslim women and their relationship with food.\* \*I’m not saying that no women have ever masturbated with these types of food–I know they have. But it’s not the immediate thought most have, I don’t think, upon seeing/handling said foods. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/17 "2011-12-11T20:35:43Z")
I would appreciate if you did that poll and made it so I could see who responded and how they responded. Could be _very_ useful. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/18 "2011-12-11T21:27:37Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > This man clearly has no idea how the average woman thinks. I would do a poll but I won’t… women: if you see something vaguely phallic-shaped, do you immediately respond by getting horny and wanting to have sex? Or do you just shrug and say “huh. Phallic shaped.” and move on? Or more likely, not even notice the shape? I don’t think I’ve ever referred to a cylinder-ish food as phallic, unless it was really really obvious. I don’t have sexy thoughts about food. I’m much more likely to call something ‘boobic’ (if there’s a proper word for that, I don’t want to know.) But that’s because it’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/19 "2011-12-11T21:45:47Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > I don’t think I’ve ever referred to a cylinder-ish food as phallic, unless it was really really obvious. I don’t have sexy thoughts about food. I’m much more likely to call something ‘boobic’ (if there’s a proper word for that, I don’t want to know.) But that’s because it’s funny. Right, so my basic point stands: you’re not likely to look at the shape of a food item and think “oooh sex!” right? ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757/20 "2011-12-11T23:00:05Z")
So did he warn the male members of his congregation to stay out of donut shops? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/muslim-cleric-warns-cucumbers-too-sexy-for-women/605757.md?page=2)