# Must Lifetime Network movies suck quite so hard? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 5, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/must-lifetime-network-movies-suck-quite-so-hard/315670 "2005-08-05T03:14:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/must-lifetime-network-movies-suck-quite-so-hard/315670/121 "2005-08-10T20:51:06Z")
I confess: a) Lifetime movies have the bloody train wreck effect on me b) I skipped page 2 of this thread, so I don’t know if any Lifetime apologists have come out of the closet, and c) I kept using the title generator until I finally came up with one I liked: **A Sore Called Raquel**. However, what I’m here to say is that I have an uncle. A big, bad uncle. The kind of uncle who could easily have been the bad guy in a Lifetime movie in his younger days. Motorcycles, booze, pot, and women were his earth, wind, fire, and water. To this day he carries a gun with him everywhere (even when he rides his bike, in case he has to shoot something that’s in his way), and keeps thousands of dollars on his person and hidden away in his house. He gets crows off his roof with a BB gun, and uses the f-word with glee. And he thinks that Lifetime and The Hallmark Channel are the only channels worth watching on TV. No, seriously. SO there you have it. Television for Women, my ass. It’s Television for Aging Badasses, is what it is. I’ve seen proof. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/must-lifetime-network-movies-suck-quite-so-hard/315670/122 "2005-08-10T20:54:35Z")
So, I take the consesus is yes, Livetime Network movies _must_ suck quite hard. Because if they try to change **auntie em** ’s big bad uncle would have to knock some heads! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/must-lifetime-network-movies-suck-quite-so-hard/315670/123 "2005-08-10T21:12:15Z")
> [@auntie em](#): > > However, what I’m here to say is that I have an uncle. A big, bad uncle…To this day he carries a gun with him everywhere (even when he rides his bike, in case he has to shoot something that’s in his way), Whoa! You’re uncle’s **ExTank**?! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/must-lifetime-network-movies-suck-quite-so-hard/315670/124 "2005-08-10T21:16:25Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > So, I take the consesus is yes, Livetime Network movies _must_ suck quite hard. It’s like some topsy-turvy law of thermosuckentropy. _Lifetime_ takes all the suck in the universe and concentrates it into its movies. ---
**Author:** ![DarkPrince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@DarkPrince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkPrince)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/must-lifetime-network-movies-suck-quite-so-hard/315670/125 "2005-08-10T21:20:31Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > The former All-State swimmer begins losing races immediately after viewing a particularly lurid image of a woman in a bra. His entire future hangs in the balance. With the porn-induced increased drag in the water, of course he started losing! My movie title: **"Tumor in the Night: The Story of Miriam Fawn"** My movie plot: _“Jaclyn Smith and Ken Olin star in “Do I Look Puffy? - The Tori Spelling Story”, the true story of a woman who battles lupus. Despite her teen’s raging hormones, with the help of a great pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps she found on sale at Loehmann’s she eventually finds the courage to make up for her lost childhood.”_ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/must-lifetime-network-movies-suck-quite-so-hard/315670/126 "2005-08-10T21:26:13Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Whoa! You’re uncle’s **ExTank**?! :eek: **Your** :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/must-lifetime-network-movies-suck-quite-so-hard/315670/127 "2005-08-10T21:29:39Z")
My dad calls it “The Veronica Hamel Network.” Every time he’s looking for something to watch, and he flips by, he says, “Oh, is Veronica Hamel getting stalked again tonight? Anyone want to watch that? What, that’s a no?” Jill Eikenberry is also in a lot of those movies. In one, she was a nun who got raped by a hitchhiker and got pregnant. She’s usually in them with her husband, Michael Tucker. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/must-lifetime-network-movies-suck-quite-so-hard/315670/128 "2005-08-10T23:38:05Z")
> [@belladonna](#): > > In defense of my gender here, I don’t know any women who actually watch those movies. I’ve always figured Lifetime’s demographics were the 75-110 yo crowd who couldn’t remember where they put the remote after Unsolved Mysteries was over. To hear that someone watches them intentionally? You can’t see me, but I’m sadly shaking my head… Hi, I’d like to introduce you to my mother. She came to visit this past weekend and _ASKED_ me to put on Lifetime Movie Network because she was bored. I went to take a nap. E. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/must-lifetime-network-movies-suck-quite-so-hard/315670.md?page=6)