The Turn of the Screw by Henry James. Couldn’t even finish the blasted thing. Five hundred word sentences and six-page paragraphs!? Guy’s gotta take a leak sometime, know what I’m saying, Hank? And would it be possible to have something happen once in a while so that the previous fifteen minutes of reading might have accomplished something?
I’ll second Catcher in the Rye, too. Never did figure out what made that such an important book…other than that whole Jodie Foster thing.
Great Expectations was hands down the worst book ever inflicted on highschoolers. Not only was it bad, it was long. damn long. I kept on wishing Pip would die in some horrible way because he was such a schmuck. At least most of the other book people seem to hate like Catcher in the Rye (Which I kind of liked)was only 200 something pages. Billy Budd was also really horrible. It managed to double all the boringness ( i doubt this is a word, but I am not an english major)of Moby Dick but in 800 less pages, which is quite a feat.
aww man, I hated this book so much that once we finished it in class I tore it up and flushed it down the toilet (much to the dismay of my RA). And because of that book I haven’t seen Apocalypse Now.
I read all the reviews for “Snow Falling on Cedars.” I was especially eager to read it because it was set in my little corner of the world. The reviews were excellent, it won awards, and hey…I almost just bought a copy, which is something I almost never do anymore. Due to copious overkill in the number of boxes my brother had to carry up two steep flights of stairs last time he helped me move. If I ever get him to sign up here, I am sure that some day he will expound AT LENGTH about that. But…that’s another story for another thread.
Anyway, a friend had the book and suggested that really, I should read her copy before I bought it. Actually, she was a little bit insistent about it. This should have warned me.
Now, I am a fast reader, so I almost never have a problem finishing a book. Even if there is a small IOTA of spark there, I will finish the book just because I want to know what happens to whatever character captured the teensy weensiest bit of interest.
Now, I am sure that the people in that book were interesting. But I have to say, never were interesting people portrayed as more dreary and mopey. When reading that book, I felt like when you are trying to start your car and the engine is turning over, but it never “catches.”
You know, you are WILLING it to start, you are leaning forward and ACHING for it to just…DO SOMETHING!
Well, suffice to say that I finished the dumb thing. But…please, should you wish to read it? BORROW it…or get it from the library. Don’t even get it at the used book store, unless it is in the bin out front with the sign that says “FREE BOOKS!”
What’s worse is when I called my mom to bitch about how much I hated this thing I HAD to read, her response was, “That was a great book!” WTF, Mom? What WERE you on that day in college, huh?
That was one of the few times I ever suspected that I was, indeed, adopted.
My mom’s ex’s fondness for Joyce is one major factor in why I am not and never will be an English major. (He’s an English professor.) I have no problem with the ex himself, but I cannot for the life of me understand how anybody can find Ulysses readable. I didn’t even get past the first PAGE.
Maybe you had to have been there; some of you unfortunates probably were. Everywhere I went people were talking about how insightful this book was and asking if I’d read it.
For “classics” I’d nominate anything by Dickens. His stories would have been perfectly sensible and enjoyable with half the number of words, characters, etc.
For modern fiction, definitely Geek Love. I hated this book so much I’ve blocked out the author’s name. About 10, 15 years ago it was really hip to be seen with this so I finally read it and loathed every minute. Self-conscious, pretentious drivel by someone without an iota of talent or even basic writing skills.
Every single freaking word ever written, spoken or thought by Nathaniel Hawthorne and Thomas Hardy. I hated The Scarlet Letter and every one of the 2 or 3 Hardy novels forced upon me in high school english.
Another book that I just can’t force myself to get is Doctor Zhivago. I first tried to read this while in junior high, but I couldn’t keep anyone straight, and I have tried a few more times since then, even taking notes so I knew who was who, but I just couldn’t finish it.
A hearty “hell yes” to those of you who mentioned A Confederacy of Dunces. This is another one I didn’t finish, though in my defense I read a little more than 3/4 of it before swearing off that ass Ignatius.
Biggirl- his mom doesn’t get any smarter in 'Tis.
[sub]I read The Catcher in the Rye in 6th grade and did not understand its popularity. I thought it was because I was young. Now I know it’s because it was awful.[/sub]
What is it with English classes? Is this some form of teacher’s revenge, that they get to choose the books they know will bore us to sleep?
I’d like to add to the list of books that should be fed to a waiting shredder, “The Rainbow”, by DH Lawrence (and any other Lawrence work you can get your hands on), Hardy’s “The Mayor of Casterbridge” and William Goldby’s (sp) “The Spire”. Two years of English summed up in those books. God I hated them. Dull, boring, self-reverential. Although in the final year we read “1984” and “The Great Gatsby”, both of which I loved.
To Ben:
One part that I think is racist is the part where Huck says that Jim “cared as much for his people as white people do.” Huck says that he found it strange that Jim loved his family. He never realized that black people loved their families, and he was shocked that Jim did. I found that part offensive. Another part that offended me was near the end of the book, where Huck and Tom keep Jim locked up in a little building behind the house. I thought that what they did to Jim was cruel. The book depicts Jim as childlike and easily misled.
Disclaimer: I read very little fiction, as I don’t seem to find much of it that I enjoy or am interested in. I read everything else (biography, history, nonfiction) like a fiend.
That said, I really didn’t like A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. I may get slammed for that as it was very popular very recently.
And I have to agree about Snow Falling on Cedars. I really did want to like it, but…
hallelulahajuhahah! I didn’t like it very much either. In fact, I didnt like it at all. My mom foisted it on me since the guy went to my same high school (made it through several years before I did) and I recently moved it from my bookshelf to under the bed.
Midevalist: I think you’re confusing Mark Twain with his characters. Huckleberry Finn, the character, was racist, Huckleberry Finn the novel is not. Look at the passage where Huck is surprised that Jim loves his family “just like white people.” If the book were racist, would Jim have been presented as caring and human? Would he have consistently exceeded Huck’s racist expectations throughout the novel? Or would he have conformed to the predominant stereotypes of the era? If the book were racist, Jim wouldn’t have loved his family"just like white people," because a racist would never favorably compare the object of his racism with himself.
ruadh, “Geek Love” was by Katherine Dunn. I loved it, however. Lacked basic writing skills? I don’t even know how to respond to that. Perhaps it was a bit pretentious, but I found it well-written and, unlike most “great literature”, entertaining. Oh well.
I guess I’m the only one who liked “Heart of Darkness”, too. Ya buncha phillistines.
I’ll also defend Catcher in the Rye and Huckleberry Finn.
I’ll agree with Dickens (really, a whole page to describe how someone was “deader than a doornail” and you’re just being annoying), Faulkner, Hemmingway, the Bronte sisters, and Joyce (although I do see why he’s so highly regarded and have actually found many of his passages quite beautiful; most of it’s just far too dense and complex for my limited intellect and attention span).
Thomas Hardy bored the shit out of me, as did Flaubert. Kerouac would probably be my pick for most overrated writer, though - tried to read “On the Road” twice and damn near had to be put on life support it was so bland and tedious. Herman(n?) Hesse licked the big one too, IMO. Oh, and “The Jungle” by Upton Sinclair. I never trust fiction with an agenda.
Between my junior year in highschool and my junior year in college, I was assigned to read The Scarlet Letter no fewer than five times. I have a passionate dilike for that book bordering on the psychotic. But at least it wasn’t as bad as the Demi Moore movie version.
When I was in fifth and sixth grade, we had to read a lot of John Steinbeck, including The Red Pony, The Pearl, and Of Mice and Men. All of which I hated. Then, my last year in highschool, we read East of Eden, which was the most incredible book I’d ever read. I read Cannery Row on my own, and loved it. I went back and dug out my old Steinbeck books from middle school, and loved them. Steinbeck is my favorite author, in spite of my early exposure to him. Go figure.
Other books I hated: Bridge to Terabithia, My Brother Sam is Dead, Johnny Tremaine, The Stranger, The Rubyfruit Jungle,
It is a good book once you get past the erotic poem part. I read it for my Madness in Literature class, and I thought it was pretty good, but I tend to like experimental works. The end though, is one of the most horrifying conclusions to a book that I’ve ever read. You’d shudder even if you were male, my male classmates did…
Don Quixote. 800+ pages of pure garbage. He goes out, does something stupid, gets beaten up, sort of recovers, goes out, does something stupid, gets…I got the point by the third chapter.
The Scarlet Letter. Harthorne should have stuck to short story writing.
The Perfect Storm. Without a doubt one of the most excuriatingly boring books I was ever required to read. Less than a quarter of the book was about the missing crew!
Pride and Prejudice. I didn’t care who she married or dated or whatever. I’m never reading another of her books, or watching the movies, all three I’ve read or seen were terrible.
Between the Acts. I didn’t know it was possible to write a novel, which includes humans, that has no protagonist. Virginia Wolfe managed it.
Notes from the Underground. Just didn’t like it.
Surfacing. I like Marget Attwood’s short stories, but, besides A Handmaiden’s Tale, I don’t find her novels very accessable. I had to re-read half of this one to figure out what the point was.
My wife bought a copy of the English Patient. I decided to take it to work, because she said it was good.
I read maybe 1/3 into it.
Then I went home, and tried to find the glue stick, so that I could bond every last page together and spare future readers the possibility that they might even open the book, or have it fall in such a way that even a single word of it should fall into their field of vision, rendering them mad.
Those people complaining about Dickens having good stories, but being too wordy remind me of the King in Amadeus. After the premiere of one of one of Amadeus’s pieces, the King tells him it was good but it had too many notes. He then suggests that getting rid of some would make it perfect.
Ben: the passage you describe has Huck learning that whites and blacks are much the same in how they love their families. This isn’t racist. Huck later decides to help Jim even if it means he is going to hell for it, and is willing to risk his life to save Jim. At least part of the point Twain was making is that it was possible for Huck to reject much of the racism of the society in which he grew up. Most of the characters in the book are racists, yes, but the book itself was a call for tolerance.
