# My 16 y/o gave me 2 joints for father's day. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 21, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597 "2013-06-21T22:52:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/21 "2013-06-22T13:19:07Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > ETA: **lorene** –I am unable to effectively address things “in real time” anymore. I am strongly considering giving up driving for that very reason. I do address them thoroughly in time, however. My goal is to not make bad things worse. I can appreciate that. My reply sounded a lot more snarky than I intended it to, also. Sometimes processing and returning to address an issue later is much more useful. Ah, what do I know anyhow. My kids aren’t teenagers yet. I probably shouldn’t have replied at all. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/22 "2013-06-22T14:51:31Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Would you flush a beer? > > Teenager gives you a beer for your birthday. > Do you get angry and flush it? > Or just hope they develop better gift giving? Where did I say I’d be angry? Discipline and correction can be meted out without anger; indeed, that’s the most preferred way. I would probably just toss a beer in the trash (much more difficult to do that with weed), because I see no difference at all between beer and weed. And I’d likely do it while giving the excellent commentary that **Drew** outlined. The reason? Because you can’t take the moral high ground if you do one thing and say another. “Hey, darling daughter, this was really wrong for X, Y, and Z reasons, please don’t do it again, love you bunches and am concerned for your future.. now Daddy’s gonna go in his room for a while with your present; behave yourself!” Which is the kid more likely to pay attention to- Dad’s flowery language, or the fact that he toked up afterwards? We know what we’d LIKE her to pay attention to, but this is a 16 year old who has, on at least two occasions (this one, and the one that got her in diversion), demonstrated less than stellar reasoning and decision-making. So the reality is, she’ll take away exactly the same lesson that she’s currently (according to the OP’s own words) learning in diversion- do as you like, as long as you don’t get caught (or if you’re gonna expose your poor decision making to someone, make sure it’s the right person). ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/23 "2013-06-22T14:57:55Z")
> [@InternetLegend](#): > > …No matter how you handle it, this would be an **excellent** time to have a frank discussion with your daughter about intoxicating substances and your attitude towards their use. Yeah, if you can keep it light. I had a very lighthearted discussion with my son, although i did go off on a rant on how addictive cigarettes are: _ **“So if I ever catch you smoking, it just better not be tobacco!”** _ ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/24 "2013-06-22T15:24:54Z")
Yeah, get high with her! You’ll be the coolest dad on visiting days. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/25 "2013-06-22T15:39:22Z")
You have a daughter who loves you. You are a lucky man. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/26 "2013-06-22T15:54:45Z")
Well, I know of at least ONE kid that deserves a hug. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/27 "2013-06-22T15:56:41Z")
> [@JustinC](#): > > Yeah, get high with her! You’ll be the coolest dad on visiting days. Well that’s an interesting takeaway from all this. Disregarding the snark, it _does_ get to the meat of the more esoteric elements of the situation. MJ has been illegal & demonized for as long as any of us have been alive. Users are stereotyped as slit-eyed, idiot-grinning lay abouts. This is no nearer reality than the notion all users of alcohol are slobbering, unshaven drunks. The stuff is not progressing toward legalization because society is ceasing to care, but because normal people are admitting one by one that they personally don’t see it as any more harmful than tobacco or alcohol. Certainly not more destructive to people, families, and society than jail time for casual users. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/28 "2013-06-22T19:01:03Z")
My Dad and I give each other bud for Christmas, birthdays, etc. Of course, I’m an adult, not a 16-year-old, but still… ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/29 "2013-06-22T19:15:58Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Well it’s certainly better than my kids stealing my stuff. Consider yourself lucky. And it’s sweet. Also a good opportunity to talk about adult choices and responsibilities. I’m guessing she stole it from the ops stash and is waiting to bust him if he objects. It’s got teenage attitude written all over it. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/30 "2013-06-22T19:20:31Z")
:mad: I got a damn card. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/31 "2013-06-23T04:26:51Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > The stuff is not progressing toward legalization because society is ceasing to care, but because normal people are admitting one by one that they personally don’t see it as any more harmful than tobacco or alcohol. Certainly not more destructive to people, families, and society than jail time for casual users. This may be true in general, but is it true for you? I don’t really understand what you mean about your thoughts slowing down and you giving up driving, but if there’s seriously something wrong with your cognition, it might not be a bad idea to go clean of all manner of substances. ---
**Author:** ![Among\_Liberals](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Among\_Liberals](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Among_Liberals)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/32 "2013-06-23T04:42:25Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > This may be true in general, but is it true for you? I don’t really understand what you mean about your thoughts slowing down and you giving up driving, but if there’s seriously something wrong with your cognition, it might not be a bad idea to go clean of all manner of substances. He didn’t say he considered his slowed downed thoughts to be less representative of how he thinks. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/33 "2013-06-23T04:54:24Z")
She gave you something she thinks is of value to you. She wouldn’t give the same thing to someone that might reject it right? Illegality aside, thank her for the thought, but also address what her intentions are. Does she think that you really want to get high? Is getting high a priority for her? Does she realize that there are far more meaningful gestures than giving a joint to someone? I’m just guessing, but I think you’d rather have a Daddy/daughter night with her, than toke up. There’s no shame at all in saying “For Father’s day I’d like to…” She should respect that, and you get what you want. Show her that there is much more to life than getting high, and that time spent with her is of great value. Getting high may be fun, but it really isn’t what Father’s Day is about. It’s about being with, and loving your kids. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/34 "2013-06-23T04:57:03Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > :mad: I got a damn card. If your kid/s were of the same mind as the OP, you could have smoked it. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/35 "2013-06-23T15:48:15Z")
Was the pot good? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/36 "2013-06-23T22:09:02Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I don’t really understand what you mean about your thoughts slowing down and you giving up driving This is a bit off-topic except inasmuch as it speaks to why I delayed any meaningful response to the gift, as well as identifying some of the gallows humor we bond over. I don’t do much in the way of drugs/alcohol as it is (I sort of outgrew it and alcohol is more of an encumbrance in my quest for yummy beers), less now that I’m working with doc to decide if I’m going senile at 46 or if there’s something else going on. I don’t plan on getting high with my kid, that strikes me as a boundary violation. But I’m not going to be a hypocrite either and tell her it’s wrong to cut loose once in a while. She’s made some bad calls and I’ve been there for her, and she’s learning from her mistakes–that’s how I want it. Sorry. Rambling. Good kid, learning good judgment from experience, and gaining experience from bad judgment. Mediocre weed though, as it turns out. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/37 "2013-06-23T22:22:57Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > This may be true in general, but is it true for you? I don’t really understand what you mean about your thoughts slowing down and you giving up driving, but if there’s seriously something wrong with your cognition, it might not be a bad idea to go clean of all manner of substances. He said he smokes 2-3 bowls a year. Sounds like he’s already pretty clean. Anecdote: I smoked pot with my dad for the first time when I was 30 or so. My brother insisted (they’d done it together for years, but then, their relationship was a lot different than my father’s and mine). I absolutely hated it. I felt like a bad kid doing a bad thing and getting caught. I tried to hide it, since he thought it was enjoyable, like I was a grown-up and we could share these things. But I have as much interest in seeing my father smoke weed as I do seeing him have sex. But, when I tell this story, everyone thinks I’m the weird one. I actually had someone recently mock me because I don’t smoke pot with my _twelve year old_, which is just… ugh. Anyway, pointless anecdote is pointless. I have bought marijuana for him as a gift before though (as an adult). Hey, he’s hard to shop for, and I know he’ll use it, unlike the car detailing kit I got him which is still in it’s packaging. I also bought him a kickass vaporizer. I can’t imagine doing that as a kid though, and even now it makes me sort of uncomfortable (I won’t be there when he opens the gift- I just can’t). Kids these days, sheesh! ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597/38 "2013-06-24T22:41:00Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > No, she didn’t sign me up for arthroplasty. Shucky darn … 😃 > [@InternetLegend](#): > > I’d be dismayed by this gift, the same way I’d be dismayed by a gift of, say, Crown Royal. Where did a 16-year-old get it? And, more to the point, why did she think it was an appropriate gift for her dad? > . I got my mom to pick up a bottle of whatever scotch it was my Dad liked when I was 13 so I could give it to him. [Johnny Walker Red maybe? Been too many years gone past to remember now] > [@Chronos](#): > > If it is (reasonably) legal where you are for a 16-year-old to buy marijuana, and if you do, in fact, occasionally partake of it, then the proper response would be to add it to your stash at the front of the queue, and smoke those two joints on the next two occasions when you would otherwise smoke a joint. If the quality isn’t up to your usual standards, well, that just puts you in the same boat as all the “normal” dads who just got really ugly neckties that they’re nonetheless obligated to wear occasionally. That works for me. i am pretty certain that my Dad endured more than a few ugly ties from my brother and I when we were fairly young:smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16-y-o-gave-me-2-joints-for-fathers-day/661597.md?page=1)