# My 16yo son ignored Mother's Day. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 10, 2015, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727 "2015-05-10T21:52:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2015, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/381 "2015-05-18T21:36:57Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > Hm. Guess I will just leave for now. I’ll check back occasionally until it looks like it might be over with. Not to put too fine a point on it, but it doesn’t seem to me that that resolves anything else about this issue, in its various threads. It just gets rid of me. No known force in the universe is going to resolve anything in this thread. You leaving just saves you some stress. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2015, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/382 "2015-05-18T21:46:23Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > I figured I’d hear, “just leave; save yourself and get out; etc” but the damn thing is in every “new posts” display I get, and it’s grayed so I look, and–oh hey–it’s about me and my kid, and frankly it’s hard not to click. And then it’s hard not to get involved when the posts are even sometimes about ME. I guess if I were a stronger person, that would solve this all around. Tapu, “save yourself” is about the best and only advice at this point. You have the unfortunate circumstance of being the person who started the thread, but the thread no longer has anything to do with your original query. It’s nothing more for that a place for some people to spout their ignorance and others to argue with them. Nothing will be resolved. If you don’t want to participate in that kind of discussion (and I can’t imagine you would given the personal connection), just bow out. If clicking is too great a temptation, see [here for a script to hide threads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=744012) (if you’re using Chrome or Firefox). You won’t see it in your new posts anymore. PM me if you want help installing it. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2015, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/383 "2015-05-18T22:04:39Z")
FWIW, **tapu** , I’m not meaning to cause you distress, and seeing that continued posts here do so means this’ll be my last post in this thread, with apologies. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2015, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/384 "2015-05-18T23:44:36Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > FWIW, **tapu** , I’m not meaning to cause you distress, and seeing that continued posts here do so means this’ll be my last post in this thread, with apologies. You don’t need to apologize. You know that. Although I think it may be best for all if we stop posting in this thread. (IMHO) I’m going to block the thread as suggested above. Especially because I’d left, but tapatalk kept pinging me, trying to seduce me back in. 🙂 Thanks to those of you who know I am thanking them. Fuck you to those who are bigoted against gay families. And frankly, mods, though I think you do a great job overall and I appreciate all the effort, in this case, IMHO, I think you dropped the ball. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2015, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/385 "2015-05-18T23:57:25Z")
**Troutman** , I’m running Chrome; I installed Tampermonkey; I went back to Greasemonkey and installed script, but I got the same “location” error message brought up in your thread about the script. I don’t think I have a thing to do with IE, so can you tell me how to move on from the “location” message? Man, I appreciate this. I’m going to get rid of all those fun and games, too! ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2015, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/386 "2015-05-19T00:43:16Z")
Holy jeez tapu. Just relax and use your willpower. Don’t click and go back to pretending there’s no assholes on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2015, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/387 "2015-05-19T00:44:19Z")
Oh-oh! Stand down. It DID work, despite that location message. Thank you SO much, **Troutman**. Now, if anyone posts in here to me, it’s not that I’m shining you on. It’s that I have the whole thread hidden. Good bye. ~tapu ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2015, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/388 "2015-05-19T00:45:39Z")
Bit of a drama queen. That might be the Mother’s day problem. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2015, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/389 "2015-05-19T00:51:37Z")
Oh, FFS. Imagine what it must be like if every. single. time. (and I bet it IS every single time, judging by this thread) you want to post about a family issue, one or two numbnuts just have to pop up and tell you it’s because your family structure sucks. I’d go fricking insane. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2015, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/390 "2015-05-19T01:05:15Z")
Or you learn to adapt. I mean IRL it’s one thing but getting frantic about your thread being moved to the Pit and “OMG there it is again in new posts!” doesn’t demonstrate great coping skills. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2015, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/391 "2015-05-19T02:40:23Z")
I’m not trying to extend this thread or make an argument, but I did locate some of the original studies and I’ll link to them if anybody would like them for future reference when having to combat similar arguments. (Warning: PDF). The problem is that there are so many studies that many are metareviews but these are at least original studies that do contain head to head comparisons at least as an arm of the study. > **[AJOP.pdf](https://www.meerdangewenst.nl/documenten/AJOP.pdf)** > > 83.78 KB [http://www.sateenkaariperheet.fi/userfiles/documents/ChildrenwithLesbianParents.pdf](http://www.sateenkaariperheet.fi/userfiles/documents/ChildrenwithLesbianParents.pdf) ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/392 "2015-05-21T07:09:19Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > Blackberry, thank you. That’s an insight I appreciate. Asa is a bit of a perfectionist (not about his room, say, but about other things for sure). I can see where he might be paralyzed by the idea of getting not just one gift “right,” but two! > > Now here is an explanation that makes sense for your kid (presumably raised in a hetero family). For my kid, the situation may actually be heightened by having \*two \*moms. Will the cards/gestures/gifts seem equal? That kind of thing. > > This takes all possible factors into account _without making it seem like 2 moms is the problem_. > > You have made me so happy. 🙂 Happy I could help 🙂 I’m a hetero mom, yes, but I’ve always been a single parent, so while at least my daughter doesn’t have the added stress of finding two just-right gifts, there’s no other parent to help either, nor any siblings to compare notes with. And ha, yes, I only wish her perfectionism in any way affected how she kept her bedroom (well, actually it does, but just not in a useful way…again, it’s more of the avoiding thing. I understand it because I was the same way at her age, but it still drives me nuts). Asa sounds like a good kid, so even though it can be hard, try not to take it personally when he doesn’t have all his ducks in a row yet. No teen does, and it doesn’t mean it’s for lack of caring. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2015, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/393 "2015-05-22T02:07:00Z")
Nothing to do with anything, but I loathe mothers day. I wish Anna Jarvis, the founder of this idiot holiday, was still alive so I could track her down and leave a flaming bag of poop on her front step. My only consolation is she turned against it, the commercialization part, anyway, herself. … I don’t think any ‘holiday’ is quite so fraught with tension, dashed expectations, and disappointment. Especially considering all the lousy mothers out there who demand tribute. And what about the good mothers, like the OP, what do we get for our efforts? Zip… I would have to search for a blank card on mothers day because the Hallmark cards made me gag. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/394 "2015-05-25T10:15:37Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > Nothing to do with anything, but I loathe mothers day. I wish Anna Jarvis, the founder of this idiot holiday, was still alive so I could track her down and leave a flaming bag of poop on her front step. My only consolation is she turned against it, the commercialization part, anyway, herself. … I don’t think any ‘holiday’ is quite so fraught with tension, dashed expectations, and disappointment. Especially considering all the lousy mothers out there who demand tribute. And what about the good mothers, like the OP, what do we get for our efforts? Zip… I would have to search for a blank card on mothers day because the Hallmark cards made me gag. I suspect that when Jarvis created the holiday in 1905 she never though about how 2 lesbians living together, who can have a son thru artificial means, would celebrate such an event? It makes one wonder what will happen if children are someday cloned or created in artificial wombs? I mean she probably had a specific image in mind. Its interesting how over the years the greeting card makers have tried to push a grandparents day and a mother in law day but it never really went over. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/395 "2015-05-25T10:24:46Z")
Fucking fascinating. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/396 "2015-05-25T16:02:22Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I suspect that when Jarvis created the holiday in 1905 she never though about how 2 lesbians living together, who can have a son thru artificial means, would celebrate such an event? > > It makes one wonder what will happen if children are someday cloned or created in artificial wombs? > > I mean she probably had a specific image in mind. > > Its interesting how over the years the greeting card makers have tried to push a grandparents day and a mother in law day but it never really went over. I was 12 when AIDS emerged in this country. Except they didn’t call it AIDS. They called it GRID to make sure everyone knew it was something the gays had and nice people didn’t have to worry about it. The amount of time it took for the federal government to put money into AIDS research is criminal. As a result, I am beyond proud of my generation and the generations behind us that helped our society get to where it is today. A society where the plurality of Americans live in states where ssm marriage is legal and they can build the families they dreamed of. I am also beyond proud of my children’s generation who are moving society forward on issues of LGBTQ as a supersonic clip, forever changing what America looks like for previously marginalized people. The era for people with archaic and outdated opinions like those you espouse is gone. You’ll be remembered as the throw backs you are. Your time is dead; you just don’t know it yet. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/397 "2015-05-26T08:36:11Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > Wait. I’m still marveling that the thread “My 16yo son forgot mother’s day” ended up in the pit. What exactly is being pitted? I don’t know, but at least now I can call you a pissy little bitch like I’ve always wanted to. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/398 "2015-05-26T09:22:52Z")
Now that we have a safe distance from the event I assume the parents in the OP have had a conversation with the titular 16yo son and found out exactly why he ignored Mother’s Day. Well, why did he? ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/399 "2015-05-26T09:57:13Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I suspect that when Jarvis created the holiday in 1905 she never though about how 2 lesbians living together, who can have a son thru artificial means, would celebrate such an event? > > It makes one wonder what will happen if children are someday cloned or created in artificial wombs? > > I mean she probably had a specific image in mind. So, how do you think Anna Jarvis would feel about lesbians celebrating Mother’s Day? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727/400 "2015-05-26T11:20:39Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I suspect that when Jarvis created the holiday in 1905 she never though about how 2 lesbians living together, who can have a son thru artificial means, would celebrate such an event? > > It makes one wonder what will happen if children are someday cloned or created in artificial wombs? Their parents will raise them and love them and take care of them? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-16yo-son-ignored-mothers-day/719727.md?page=21)