# My 24 yo daughter is dating a 56 yo man **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 30, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859 "2011-12-30T18:42:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/41 "2011-12-31T01:54:30Z")
**Worried Mom** –you need to post some more, and give us more information. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/42 "2011-12-31T03:04:40Z")
My SO’s daughter is doing the same thing except he’s 49, and my SO is livid but not saying anything. However, tonight, he is texting me that at the family Christmas party the boyfriend is hitting on her cousin, and he and the cousin’s dad are trying not to punch the boyfriend out. His big concerns with the relationship, apart from the age difference and the fact that the guy is a Democrat, is that he brings NOTHING to the relationship. He’s broke, he’s not overly bright, and he’s already got kids to raise, and probably won’t be financially capable of starting a second family. My SO is afraid his daughter is wasting valuable time with this guy that could be better spent on finding a life partner who has the same level of drive, ambition and education as she has. He’s biting his tongue, though, and letting her make her own mistakes, and praying the birth control works. If the guy survives the night, SO is hoping that observing his dickish behavior tonight will open her eyes. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/43 "2011-12-31T03:22:28Z")
> [@worried\_mom](#): > > Advice Needed ! You need a more original hook; this one’s been played out. Apparently still shiny enough to snag a few, though. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/44 "2011-12-31T03:35:46Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > This would’ve been better if you said ‘rectumfied’. Rectumfied? Damn near kiltimfied! ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/45 "2011-12-31T04:36:05Z")
What cultures/countries have no stigma against this kind of age gap in relationships? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/46 "2011-12-31T05:00:04Z")
> [@brittekland](#): > > What cultures/countries have no stigma against this kind of age gap in relationships? Which ones do? Older men and younger women have been common in western society since, I don’t know, it’s in the bible isn’t it. It’s occasionally frowned upon by the local yentas, but there’s no stigma. Everybody just figures she’s a gold-digger and he’s a horny old man. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/47 "2011-12-31T05:12:57Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Which ones do? Older men and younger women have been common in western society since, I don’t know, it’s in the bible isn’t it. It’s occasionally frowned upon by the local yentas, but there’s no stigma. Everybody just figures she’s a gold-digger and he’s a horny old man. Yes. No, I’ve heard somewhere there is a certain country or culture (I can’t remember whether it was one of the former Eastern Bloc country) where large gaps in age difference are not commonly viewed as anything special or unusual. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/48 "2011-12-31T05:37:16Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > When I was 24, every single girl my age whom I was interested in was dating a 40+ year old guy instead of me. Really disappointing for me. I think there is an “older guy” phase women go through in their early-to-mid 20s. I didn’t, nor did any woman I know personally. The greatest age difference I know personally is 11 years, and they were much closer in maturity than one would have expected simply from the numbers. I did have a period where I kept being hit on by guys my age who ran away as soon as they discovered they were my age and not 10-12 years older, though… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/49 "2011-12-31T06:15:04Z")
> [@worried\_mom](#): > > Advice Needed ! I feel for you. Invite the man over for dinner and discuss the good times you guys had in the ninetys in front of your daughter. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/50 "2011-12-31T06:26:50Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Everybody just figures she’s a gold-digger and he’s a horny old man. This is true. People tend to assume the worse. I’ve asked about this here in the past and most people flamed me and him. I’m now 34 and he is 59. When I posted about it, people called him creepy and me a gold digger. I’m happy with my old guy. I understand that I won’t get to live the rest of my life with him. Its possible that your daughter doesn’t understand this yet, but I’m sure that she sees how her love has wrinkles and has to get up in the night to pee. Several times. I guess the bottom line is that if your daughter is happy…don’t worry. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/51 "2011-12-31T06:28:42Z")
If I was 56, I’d have a difficult time believing that anyone under the age of 40 was interested in me. ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/52 "2011-12-31T08:15:05Z")
While I do think that older people and younger people can be friends…heck my friend’s mom is 54 (I’m 32) and I consider her a very dear (I love you style) friend, it just seems kinda…eeeeekkk that someone just out of college would want to date someone who could be their father?!! I changed a hell of a lot in my early 20’s to now. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/53 "2011-12-31T14:30:57Z")
Egads. I was 40 and after my divorce dated a 29 year old. I was 40 going on 50 (had been working many years and worked up the ladder etc etc) and she was 29 going on 23 – a college grad who had yet to get her first ‘post college’ job (still working the same job she had during college). I was the one who called it off. It was just too weird/too different. It was great at first though 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![UFC\_Is\_Sux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/46a35a/32.png) [@UFC\_Is\_Sux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UFC_Is_Sux)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/54 "2011-12-31T14:37:10Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > If I was 56, I’d have a difficult time believing that anyone under the age of 40 was interested in me. I wouldn’t find that $o hard to believe, e$pecially if I had $ufficient ca$h re$erve$ and inve$tment$ commen$urate with my age. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/55 "2011-12-31T15:02:59Z")
[Dumb and Dumber] So you’re SAYIN THERE’S A CHANCE! [/Dumb and Dumber] ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/56 "2011-12-31T15:04:17Z")
One thing that hasn’t been brought up yet is how her peers are reacting to this. My observation has been that American 20 something gals find this kind of age gap very objectionable. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/57 "2011-12-31T15:12:38Z")
**worried mom** , you haven’t described anything about the bf apart from his age. Do you have other objections besides that - does he have a stable job, does he treat your daughter well, does he look you in the eye when you talk with him? On reflection, have you met him? How did your daughter meet him? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/58 "2011-12-31T17:05:43Z")
> [@worried\_mom](#): > > Advice Needed ! \<3 No, really, she’s old enough to make her own decisions. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/59 "2011-12-31T23:55:22Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > When I was 24, every single girl my age whom I was interested in was dating a 40+ year old guy instead of me. Really disappointing for me. I think there is an “older guy” phase women go through in their early-to-mid 20s. Really?😕 When I was 24 anyone over the age of 30 was perceived as being “old”. Maybe not “old” like for the Earth, but certainly in a different place in their lives. Maybe it’s different nowadays. There are more divorces and less people getting married at all. So maybe 40 year olds at the club are more common. ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859/60 "2012-01-01T02:14:10Z")
I’m 26 and I don’t know any girls my age who are dating guys 40+, I would think it highly unusual. Also considering I wouldn’t even date a girl under 22, I have to wonder what kind of immature man-child would want a 26 year old at 40+. I think once over 30 everyone is “old” to me so any age disparity is pretty much okay after that unless the person is practically an invalid, Anna Nicole Smith style. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-24-yo-daughter-is-dating-a-56-yo-man/607859.md?page=4)