# My Adopted Cousin Wants to 'Convert' Me. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 6, 2018, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512 "2018-06-06T02:01:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jim\_B](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jim_b/32/4338_2.png) [@Jim\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_B)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/1 "2018-06-06T02:01:32Z")
I won’t go into too much detail about my adopted cousin. But he did have a hard life. And he doesn’t even consider himself part of my family now (which is why I use the term “adopted”), although my parents were in many ways the parents he always wanted but tragically never had. Anyways, the Saturday before Easter, he called me on the phone. And he said he was very concerned about my immortal soul. Clearly he doesn’t agree with my political views. And he said he wanted to convert me, to pre-Vatican II Catholicism, just like him. He knows it’s wrong to shove your beliefs down other people’s throats. But in many ways he still doesn’t want to take “no” for an answer. Also, I should tell you. Prior to 1997, he was a “militant atheist”, by his own admission. Now he is reportedly a radical religious conservative. Also, he may have a criminal record. And his real reason for delving into my life may just be to cause strife and discord. His hatred of liberals and gays is genuine though, I should tell you. So how do I deal with the man? And BTW, I have deliberately chosen MPSIMS, because I don’t want to make this into an angry debate. I don’t post in the PIT, _ever_. What more can I say? :):)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/2 "2018-06-06T02:06:25Z")
Stop running from Jesus. He only wants to love you. Let him. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/3 "2018-06-06T02:36:51Z")
Tell him your immortal soul is none of his business and not to bring up the subject again. It doesn’t matter how he reacts to that, he’ll be on to something new before long. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/4 "2018-06-06T02:38:45Z")
Maybe you develop the ability to let him talk to you on the phone while paying bills, watching a movie and basically not listening. I used to use this technique with a friend who had no conversation except complaints, with some success. I don’t think she ever figured out I wasn’t listening. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/5 "2018-06-06T03:04:11Z")
Do you want to be around this person? I might distance myself, if you think some criminal intent will come about. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/6 "2018-06-06T03:07:28Z")
“I’m glad to know that you care about me, but you’re not going to change my mind and I don’t enjoy arguing about the subject with you, so if you bring this up again I will try to change the subject. If you go along with the subject change, that’s awesome. If not, I’ll have to hang up and you’re welcome to call again after (an hour, a day, a week, whatever). Thank you for understanding!” Said in a cheerful and no-nonsense voice, and if you feel like being nice, repeated a few times til he realizes you’re serious. And then follow through and actually hang up on his ass when he gets tedious. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/7 "2018-06-06T03:08:13Z")
I keep three responses handy. The most polite: “My relationship with God is private and personal to me.” The least controversial: “I generally don’t like to talk about religion.” The fuck off: “You don’t talk to me about God and I’ll do the same for you.” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/8 "2018-06-06T03:08:52Z")
“Dude, I’m really not interested in your version of faith. I know you’re worried about my soul, but pressing this issue isn’t going to bring us closer together.” Or something to that effect. Next time: “You know we’ve had this discussion already. Please let it go.” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/9 "2018-06-06T03:11:19Z")
Or if you really don’t mind being a jerk about it; “Jesus is such a new religion. I prefer the Old Ones. There’s something strangely comforting in knowing that you’re beneath the notice of vast and timeless entities.” 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/10 "2018-06-06T03:15:10Z")
Well it sounds like the real thing you are nervous about is that he may have a criminal record and he may want to cause you “strife and discord”. Religion is annoying enough, but that’s only of secondary importance, it sounds like the real concern is that maybe this guy is dangerous or not someone you want in your personal life? I’d basically engage in the gray rock method of not engaging with him at all and if he doesn’t take the hint, do what you would with any stalker and involve law enforcement. Its a good thing to keep bad apples out of your life so you don’t get sucked down with them. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/11 "2018-06-06T03:16:43Z")
What the heck is an adopted cousin? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/12 "2018-06-06T03:24:19Z")
Kunilou and Chimera have good replies. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/13 "2018-06-06T03:37:40Z")
Hmmm. What would Jesus do? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/14 "2018-06-06T03:50:07Z")
I have two questions: When did he convert to that form of Catholicism, and was he anything else between that and being a militant atheist? > **[Zeal of the convert](https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Zeal_of_the_convert)** > > The zeal of the convert is a phrase describing the typically fierce devotion of someone whose belief system has changed because of personal experience or argument, especially as compared to someone who has held their beliefs since childhood. In... ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/15 "2018-06-06T03:52:38Z")
You ask him, ‘Is there anything I could say or tell you that could sway YOU from your beliefs?’ You’ll probably get a big serving of ‘One true God!’, for your effort. Then simply say that you feel the exact same way regarding YOUR beliefs, and won’t be discussing this further. Politely and patiently repeat as required. They will tire quickly. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/16 "2018-06-06T03:55:26Z")
Tell him that for every time he tries to convert you that you will donate to gay and liberal causes in his name. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/17 "2018-06-06T04:00:59Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > Hmmm. What would Jesus do? 😕 Run away, run awaaaay! (Savior of humankind turns and sprints away, robe and limbs flapping behind him) ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_B](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jim_b/32/4338_2.png) [@Jim\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_B)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/18 "2018-06-06T04:47:47Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I have two questions: When did he convert to that form of Catholicism, and was he anything else between that and being a militant atheist? > > [Zeal of the convert - RationalWiki](https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Zeal_of_the_convert) I don’t know. He is very private about his own life. But conversely, he wants to know everything about mine :rolleyes:. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/19 "2018-06-06T05:11:41Z")
> [@Jim\_B](#): > > I don’t know. He is very private about his own life. But conversely, he wants to know everything about mine :rolleyes:. Walk away. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512/20 "2018-06-06T05:38:21Z")
> [@Jim\_B](#): > > I don’t know. He is very private about his own life. But conversely, he wants to know everything about mine :rolleyes:. If he really won’t stop when you ask nicely, and you can’t just get him out of your life, then turn every one of his conversion attempts into a concerned inquiry into the private details of his life. Make yourself sound like a cross between a nosy overbearing mother and a worried psychiatrist. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-adopted-cousin-wants-to-convert-me/815512.md?page=2)