# My anus burns when I eat jalopenos **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2007, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268 "2007-11-30T02:29:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/21 "2007-11-30T10:21:19Z")
Have to say, my anus doesn’t burn _when_ I eat jalopenos… usually it’s several hours afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/22 "2007-11-30T10:56:25Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] Have to say, my anus doesn’t burn _when_ I eat jalopenos… usually it’s several hours afterwards. [/QUOTE] You’re doing it right. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/23 "2007-11-30T11:02:35Z")
[QUOTE=Queen Bruin] Yup. I eat chiles all the time and don’t get this problem. Man, now I wants me some cream-cheese stuffed jalapenos. [/QUOTE] I eat chillis all the time and _always_ have this problem. And terrible cramps before I go to the toilet too. But I still eat chillis, because you gotta. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/24 "2007-11-30T11:44:57Z")
[QUOTE=Kotick] …no wait, it was actually in Shark Bay, I once ate a pizza called “Fire-eater”. The aussies bragged about it burning as much on the way out as on the way in. Anyway, when it finally came out again, I’m sure the toiletpaper caught fire as well :eek: [/QUOTE] Maybe they should call that pizza **Fire-shi** er\*\* :smack: Si ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/25 "2007-11-30T13:52:14Z")
I’ve always heard that eating bread can sooth the burn in your mouth, so why not wipe your ass with it? Of course, I think I’d want Wonder Bread instead of Seeded Rye, for obvious reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/26 "2007-11-30T14:33:09Z")
[QUOTE=An Arky] I’ve always heard that eating bread can sooth the burn in your mouth, so why not wipe your ass with it? Of course, I think I’d want Wonder Bread instead of Seeded Rye, for obvious reasons. [/QUOTE] As an attempt to appear conspicuously rich, I’ve decided to use brioche. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/27 "2007-11-30T14:47:43Z")
I think the combination of jalapenos, beans, cheese, and beer is one of the universe’s sneaky methods of convincing you to live in the moment with no thought of the future. Chipotle zen, as it were ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/28 "2007-11-30T14:49:41Z")
Krusty the Klown: His ears if we’re lucky. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/29 "2007-11-30T14:54:29Z")
[QUOTE=Alex\_Dubinsky] Is something wrong? [/QUOTE] Your mouth should burn while eating them, your anus some period of time later. Usually the next time you take a dump. The old joke is eat ice cream after eating peppers, then while you are taking a dump and your ass is on fire, keep saying, “Come on ice cream, come on ice cream”. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/30 "2007-11-30T15:18:23Z")
I eat chile and peppers all the time. My asshole burns all the time. Coincidence? I sure hope not! ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/31 "2007-11-30T15:26:10Z")
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat] The old joke is eat ice cream after eating peppers, then while you are taking a dump and your ass is on fire, keep saying, “Come on ice cream, come on ice cream”. [/QUOTE] This would be an opportune time for Weird Al and Dexys Midnight Riders. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/32 "2007-11-30T15:26:56Z")
My anus burns even if I intend to eat hot peppers, but later change my mind and eat cheese on toast. I blame Pavlov. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/33 "2007-11-30T17:36:29Z")
I thought it meant someone is talking about your anus. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/34 "2007-11-30T17:40:27Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] As an attempt to appear conspicuously rich, I’ve decided to use brioche. [/QUOTE] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/35 "2007-11-30T17:42:37Z")
:: channels Johnny Cash :: “And it burns, burns, burns…that ring of fire, that ring of fire.” ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/36 "2007-11-30T17:52:51Z")
[QUOTE=Mighty\_Girl] My husband’s motto: “It’s not hot enough if you don’t need to put the TP in the freezer”. Has anyone flown from Europe to America with a bout of diarrhea after a night of FRICKING spicy Thai food? No?.. Ok. Won’t share. I thought it was normal that some food tasted the same at entrance and exit. 😃 [/QUOTE] Heh. On a few occasions, I’ve eaten stir fried foods with copious amounts of hot chili oil as part of the seasoning. No charred balloon knots resulted. However, I’ve had occasions where, if I mix the super spicy stuff with a bit more fat, my anus burns like it has just touched down on the surface of the sun when everything’s made it to the other end. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/37 "2007-11-30T17:53:48Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] I thought it meant someone is talking about your anus. [/QUOTE] _snort_ I’ve never liked spicy peppery food. Why would I want to eat something that makes my nose run, let alone experience the other effects? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/38 "2007-11-30T18:01:29Z")
Maybe you find yourself in prison, where you discover that a jalapeño-burning anus is your best line of defense? ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/39 "2007-11-30T18:04:49Z")
If this phenomenon didn’t exist, there would be no such thing as [Ass In A Tub](http://www.firegirl.com/hs1202.html) hot sauce. Vindaloo and drunken noodles (and other Thai dishes) just destroy everything from the middle of my intestines on down. I’ve been woken up by cramps and pains from so much hot stuff in my gut. Hurting ass. Fiery diarrhea. Do it again the next week, because I love that hot stuff. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2007, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268/40 "2007-11-30T18:08:45Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] Maybe you find yourself in prison, where you discover that a jalapeño-burning anus is your best line of defense? [/QUOTE] They’ll use a condom and you’ll be in even more pain. :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-anus-burns-when-i-eat-jalopenos/428268.md?page=3)