# my apartment neighbors upstairs **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 5, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034 "2003-08-05T01:46:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Aubrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aubrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aubrey)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/61 "2003-08-07T16:08:59Z")
roflmao…you all are such saints aren’t you? “you are such an aubrey” now that’s really fucking original isn’t it? And whatami…i’m not your’s or anyone else’s puppet! I will not back down on anything that I say nor will I “say what YOU want me to” ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/62 "2003-08-07T16:13:12Z")
Personally, I’m offended at the derogatory use of “douche bag”. In this world of political correctness, it seems that douce bags are the last unprotected minority. And I think that’s gay. JoeyHemlock President American Society for Douche Bag Equality ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/63 "2003-08-07T16:13:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aubrey \* > \*\*And dearest Sauron…bite me! \*\* Sorry…he is only interested in biting me. But thanks for playing. BTW you aren’t going to find a gay person on this board who doesn’t find what you are saying to be anything but negative. Keep trying though, the board was getting a little boring this morning. We need a good flame pile on. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/64 "2003-08-07T16:16:45Z")
I’m still trying to get over the fact that **Aubry** has a 14 year old son! Juding from her maturity level (mature enough to follow a poster to this board from another for the sheer purpose of stalking them) I was guessing that she couldn’t be older than 14 y.o. herself! Grow the fuck up, **Aubry** :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/65 "2003-08-07T16:17:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aubrey \* > \*\*roflmao…you all are such saints aren’t you? > > “you are such an aubrey” now that’s really fucking original isn’t it? > > And whatami…i’m not your’s or anyone else’s puppet! I will not back down on anything that I say nor will I “say what YOU want me to” \*\* No one is claming to be a saint, we just prefer not to wear ingorance on our sleeves. ---
**Author:** ![whatami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85f322/32.png) [@whatami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatami)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/66 "2003-08-07T16:21:00Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by kputt_ > what in the world did this all of a sudden become a gay debate? This isn’t a gay debate. This is about teaching someone what’s right and wrong. I suppose you can’t make somebody learn something if they don’t want to. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by Aubrey_ > And whatami…i’m not your’s or anyone else’s puppet! I will not back down on anything that I say nor will I “say what YOU want me to” You know, I tried to be nice when I brought to your attention that using “gay” in the context you did was wrong. Now you’re just being a ass. Why don’t you return to wherever it is you came from. You fucking ingorant bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/67 "2003-08-07T16:26:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aries28 \* > \*\*Sorry…he is only interested in biting me. But thanks for playing. > \*\* Cat fight! 😃 Ok, whatta I gotta do to get a little biting myself? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/68 "2003-08-07T16:39:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aubrey \* > “you are such an aubrey” now that’s really fucking original isn’t it? Beats the hell out of “You’re so gay!”, now doesn’t it? Seriously, this is a wonderful board, and there are tons of knowledgeable, thought-provoking people and opinions here. Don’t do yourself the disservice of alienating a vast majority of the population of the board by adhering to an outdated, stereotypical method of expressing your thoughts. Individuality is fine. Bigotry is not. ---
**Author:** ![Jadis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@Jadis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jadis)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/69 "2003-08-07T16:50:51Z")
**Aubrey** , for a more appropriate example of parental response to a child using “gay” in a derogatory manner than saying “Dude, everyone does it!”, you might want to check out [this thread by **ouisey**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=202689). Take note of the responses of some of the gay members of this board lamenting the use of the word “gay” in such a manner. Just because ignorant people are using the word in a manner other than strictly implying homosexual behavior does not negate the origin of why the word is currently in vogue as a derogatory term. As others have mentioned, the negative connotation of “gay” stems from the general view that being gay is a bad thing, and continuing to use it as an adjective of things you find distasteful only perpetuates that ignorance. I swear, I’ll never understand the joy some people take in willful ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/70 "2003-08-07T17:04:47Z")
I am gay. My own son, 18 years old, uses the word “gay” in this very same fashion. I have tried my very best to explain to him, rationally, that I (as well as many other people) find it derogatory and insulting. He won’t change. That is only one of the reasons we don’t speak to each other any longer. Sad, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Aubrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aubrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aubrey)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/71 "2003-08-07T17:08:55Z")
Very sad that you two do not talk but at least someone has admitted that this is the way that the teenagers are using the term “gay”. I sincerely hope that someday you and your son will make amends. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/72 "2003-08-07T17:11:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zette \* > **a bandwidth sucking waste of pixels…** :::hehehe::: ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/73 "2003-08-07T17:17:38Z")
**Aubrey** , no one is saying that teenagers don’t use the word in that manner. What we’re saying is that they should be corrected when they do, because using the word to describe something as “stupid, retarded or not hip” is wrong. On another point, it’s somewhat disconcerting that you seem to develop your own conversational and societal mores based on what your teenage son and his friends do. This is opposite from the way it’s usually done in developed countries. However, that’s a topic for another thread. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/74 "2003-08-07T17:17:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aubrey \* > \*\*Very sad that you two do not talk but at least someone has admitted that this is the way that the teenagers are using the term “gay”. I sincerely hope that someday you and your son will make amends. \*\* : slams head on desk. : Aubrey, NO ONE here said that teenagers aren’t using the word gay in a derogatory way (or, to use your words, to mean “retarded”). What they HAVE been saying is that they think it’s wrong to use a term that is normally used for identifying someone as something negative. Is it really that hard to understand? ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/75 "2003-08-07T17:21:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aubrey \* > \*\*\ at least someone has admitted that this is the way that the teenagers are using the term “gay”. \*\* No one was denying that this is how the word is getting used, the point is that it is WRONG to use it in such a way. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/76 "2003-08-07T17:24:15Z")
**Aubrey** , if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you too? Just because a lot of people do something doesn’t make it right. And every time you use “gay” as a term of derision you reinforce the notion that gay = bad. And those of us who are gay, and yet not bad, strongly disapprove of that. Apparently, you don’t care about how what you say affects other people. How self-centered of you. ---
**Author:** ![Aubrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aubrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aubrey)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/77 "2003-08-07T17:25:23Z")
Now don’t go hurting yourself sweetie, I do understand what a few have been saying. My sincere apologies to everyone that I offended. Man, you guys can be brutal!!! lol Damn good thing I have a thick skin, huh? Now can we all kiss and make up or would someone else like to call me an ignorant fucking bitch? lol peace (and I mean it) ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/78 "2003-08-07T17:30:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aubrey \* > \*\*Weirddave…you obviously don’t have teenagers do you? Or maybe you just don’t spend enough time with them if you do. That has to be the most overused slang term today. They do not use it to mean homosexual. Get over it, I am the least homophobic person there is. \*\* Sure you are. My gay friends would just _love_ you! You’re wrong on this one. Perhaps you’d be better off teaching your son _why_ the word is offensive instead of condoning his offensive behavior. Ava ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/79 "2003-08-07T17:31:43Z")
A warning, **Aubrey** , before you fall face first into the trademarked Offenderatti “Bigot Trap” that so many around these parts LOVE to spring. I’d like to advise you to read a couple of threads. I got the same bum rap for using the same word the same way in my first month or so here. I’m not a bigot either. Except when it comes to mobile Ice Cream salesman. I ultimately decided not to use that word in that way on this board, because I’ve found there are alot of really interesting and fun things I can learn from some of these people, so I’d rather not offend them if it is reasonably avoidable. Alot of people here are very sensitive and aware of the prejudices and discriminations gay people face in this country and all over the world. In their efforts to change this state of affairs, some of them often get overzealous and make accusations of bigotry where none are warranted (which oddly enough tends to have the opposite effect of the one they claim to be trying to achieve - gaining the support and understanding of others until enough people are convinced and they are afforded equal status universally). While I know, and you know, that someone can use the word “gay” to mean “cheesy” or “lame” without hating or trying to insult gay people, crippled people, or dairy products, this will result in a fight around here almost every time. The hope of some of the more malicious of these folks is that they will upset you, get you to fire back beyond what is allowed, and then see you banned or chased out. Don’t fall for the trap! The best advice, I think, is just to call this polite company and not use the word. If you insist, on principal (and with confidence that you are not bigoted), on using the word, I would advise you to ignore complaints or respond to them politely until you agree to disagree. Don’t let them fire you up. If you are a bigot (I don’t, afterall, know you) then you should really reconsider your outlook on life. There are wonderful and evil people of all races, sexes, and persuaisions. People should be judged on their integrity and strength of character, not any of the above mentioned traits over which they have no control. That said, here are some threads for reading if you have the time. These should help give you some perspective on this issue relative to this board: [The first time I used the word “gay” on this board.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=83597) [Another poster getting attacked for the same thing.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=121216) This one is long, but by page three or four it is exactly the same issue. [A message to the “Offenderatti”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=134038) [A recent thread about people getting offended to easily around here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=202177) [A most humorous thread where this phenomenon gets mocked.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=148973) Not the subject of the thread, but give it a read, it gets there eventually. . . With all the great stuff on this board, this is one fight that is a waste of time if it is gonna get you upset or offended. Good luck. DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034/80 "2003-08-07T17:40:39Z")
**kputt** you are being defended or at least members of this board are attempting to educate the bigots that you brought here. IIRC you had the same attitude towards homosexuality but quickly realized your comments were offensive and made amends. You are welcomed here if you truly hate ignorance. The others that followed you here will be dealt with, count on it. **Aubrey** your first seven or eight posts to this board were attempts to humiliate **kputt** the last several have been in defense of your bigoted remarks. I would advise you to suck it up and admit the truth. You can either apologize or not, I don’t give a shit either way Everyone here knows how the term gay is used and by whom. Your pitiful attempt to rationalize its usage is why **YOU** are now about two steps from your very own pit thread. Be an adult and end this bullshit. There are some really fine folks here. But, with the way you are starting out, I doubt you’ll ever find that out. If you remember…you said earlier that “we” had figured **kputt** out pretty fast. It seems that you’re getting figured out too. You know how first impressions are. AND on top of it all. I notice that y’all have been warned twice now by the moderators here for “trolling”. I don’t know why you still have posting privileges. That the way I see it…later. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-apartment-neighbors-upstairs/193034.md?page=5)