# My armpits have been Banned! Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 30, 2002, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489 "2002-04-30T16:13:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/1 "2002-04-30T16:13:51Z")
I know that I’ve been working out and they have not been as mentholatedly fresh as they should be, but was that a reason to Ban them? Or sure you conservatives would have perferred that they be Right-Guarded, but they could just have easily been Sured or even Suaved on the cheap. Maybe I should have taken this to e-mail. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/2 "2002-04-30T16:17:23Z")
I’m through putting up with your racist bigoted pits! If I’d a had my druthers they’d have banned your big old horny calloused stinking feet for sexual harassment! Corns indeed. Harrumph! ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/3 "2002-04-30T16:22:24Z")
Because they kept the women out and only let the Mennon. ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/4 "2002-04-30T16:24:50Z")
You didn’t use Rexona. There’s always room for one who uses Rexona. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/5 "2002-04-30T16:26:42Z")
I won’t tell anyone, it’ll be our little Secret™. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/6 "2002-04-30T16:28:55Z")
You know, Biggirl, with Mitchum, you can skip a day. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/7 "2002-04-30T16:31:07Z")
“I put a bay leaf under each arm. It doesn’t keep you any drier, but you smell like soup!” -George Carlin ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/8 "2002-04-30T16:31:35Z")
Who else has been Banned? Raise your hand if your Sure! ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/9 "2002-04-30T16:31:43Z")
[Avacado wearing sunglasses] Oooh. This thread is the pits! [/Avacado] ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/10 "2002-04-30T16:33:52Z")
Did Gillette them air out before they were Banned? ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/11 "2002-04-30T16:47:04Z")
I can say with a Degree™ of certainty that these puns are really bad. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/12 "2002-04-30T16:51:11Z")
I’m really assumed of you Mennen women. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/13 "2002-04-30T16:52:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mouthbreather \* > \*\*I can say with a Degree™ of certainty that these puns are really bad. \*\* Shirley Ujest? ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/14 "2002-04-30T16:53:27Z")
I’m Responsible!! BWaHaHahHAHAHAHaHa \*steps backwards into the Irish Mist… ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/15 "2002-04-30T16:55:21Z")
This is no laughing matter! Now the facist Banners are saying that my pits are socks! Well, I know which end the socks go on and it aint nowhere near my pits! P.S. If you move this thread-- you jackbooted facist, pinko commie Banners-- I’ll get a lawyer and sue you for violating my rights to free funk! ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/16 "2002-04-30T16:55:26Z")
I find this thread rather disarming, to say the least. It doesn’t make scents at all. It’ll sprayed ignorance with a-ban-don. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/17 "2002-04-30T17:06:24Z")
Huh? Smells like Teen Spirit to me. What this thread need is some theme music. \>insert Police, Don’t stand so close here\< ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/18 "2002-04-30T17:20:59Z")
Is anyone else getting all Soft & Dri? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/19 "2002-04-30T17:30:25Z")
I was going to ask you people to quit posting awful puns, but I know ya’ll would just ignore me and roll on. ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489/20 "2002-04-30T17:55:42Z")
In some other places, this thread would soon get the Axe. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-armpits-have-been-banned-why/106489.md?page=2)