# My ass bites back (TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2005, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664 "2005-12-02T02:13:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/21 "2005-12-03T20:35:44Z")
> [@lee](#): > > Can you give us more detail on the oozing? It stopped oozing a couple days after it exploded. I had my boyfriend finish draining it (i.e. poke, prod, and squeeze, which HURT!!) and he said it looked like all the pores in that region were enlarged, and one might have gotten seriously inflamed. Thanks for the advice, though, if it comes back I’ll definitely have it looked at. And thanks for the song…I think. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/22 "2005-12-03T20:52:09Z")
> [@Giant\_Spongess](#): > > I had my boyfriend finish draining it (i.e. poke, prod, and squeeze, which HURT!!) and he said it looked like all the pores in that region were enlarged, and one might have gotten seriously inflamed. In case you’re wondering if he loves you, the answer is yes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/23 "2005-12-03T22:18:55Z")
Good God, I read that initially as “I had my boyfriend finish _drinking_ it”. :eek: Do get it looked at (preferably by a doctor 😃 ). If it’s a pilonidal cyst, it can end up putting you in hospital (I was hospitalised for a week at a time twice when I was about 20 for one of these). My father and sister (cyster?) also had one. The longer you wait, the deeper they get, and the more intense the surgery gets. THe worst part is that after the surgeon excises the thing and drains it out, he can’t sew up the wound. It needs to heal naturally from the inside out, resulting in your having a gaping raw wound in your arse crack for about six weeks. This will be padded with gauze and changed daily by a nurse. There are also fun salt baths to be had. The arse crack ones were common with US GIs from riding in jeeps with no suspension to speak of, and barbers get them between their fingers from customers’ hairs lodging in their skin. Get thee to a doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/24 "2005-12-03T23:48:01Z")
[John Rhys Davies] Ass. Very dangerous. You go first. [/JRD] ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/25 "2005-12-04T14:19:27Z")
😃 Anyway, a friend of ours had a PC, and (now I’m getting the info third hand, so bear with me), some wee beastie took up residence, then decided to spread out, moving deeper and wider into his ass. He wound up having a good portion of his rear excised,\* and then had to let it heal from the inside out, which involved \*yards \* of gauze packing. So, ya know, keep an eye on it. \*Yeah, he’s now half-assed. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/26 "2005-12-04T15:16:02Z")
Come, come now ladies and gents. Don’t freak out our fair **Giant\_Spongess**. There is another [surgical method](http://www.pilonidal.org/pdfs/pingree_pilonidal.pdf) (warning: pdf) to treat a PC that doesn’t require a full excision with an open wound. Bascom! Bascom! Rah! Rah! Rah!! ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/27 "2005-12-04T18:52:40Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Wasn’t that what Rush Limbaugh used to get out of the draft? Don’t know, but I can see how a puss-oozing ass boil would make El Rushbo come to mind. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/28 "2005-12-05T11:25:02Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > \ ***Giant\_Spongess** had pimple, it was right on her rear > She hoped if she ignored it that it would disappear > But when the morrow rolled around she was sittin’ kind of funny > She had a boil on her bottom and it threatened to get runny > > Well, her ass bit back the very next day > she poked it with a needle and it started to spray > Her ass bit back, and much to her dismay > it spurted forth a mighty gush of putrid green and grey\* I didn’t realize till the third read that we were supposed to be singing this to the tune of “The Cat Came Back”, as the tunes of both “The Beverly Hillbillies” and “Gilligan’s Island” came to mind first and second. Who else has heard other tunes in your head while reading this? ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/29 "2005-12-05T14:19:22Z")
I heard **The Yellow Rose of Texas** which I suppose would be _The Pimple of **Giant\_Spongess** _, in this case. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/30 "2005-12-05T14:32:36Z")
Ya know… It **SAID** _TMI_ right there in the title. And, when I rolled over the title, I also saw it was about some clogged-pore infected nightmare that dopers can’t seem to get enough of . And yet… and yet!.. I STILL had to open it and read the horrific description that decorated so many previous threads with titles like _Tell me YOUR zit-story_ or some such nonsense. If you’ll excuse me… I’m going to vomit, wash my eyes with bleach, shower with ammonia whilst using a steel-bristle brush on my flesh. Perhaps THEN I’ll be able to forget about these pimple-squeezin’ fiends on the boards here. \ ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/31 "2005-12-05T14:57:28Z")
Correct me if I’m wrong…are hairy-butted people more prone to this malady than the smooth-as-a-baby’s-butt crowd? ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/32 "2005-12-05T16:35:09Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Correct me if I’m wrong…are hairy-butted people more prone to this malady than the smooth-as-a-baby’s-butt crowd? Somewhat, but hair from other places can lodge itself in the dimple and cause a cyst. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/33 "2005-12-05T17:00:54Z")
I am so ashamed to be doing this… In “Under the C”, ass bites you! ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/34 "2005-12-05T17:29:10Z")
I’d just like to say that I have managed to not click that link. I’m closing this window now. ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/35 "2005-12-05T17:55:10Z")
One thing that happens is that hairs that are not growing in the area get lodged into the pores, and the victim of this unfortunate circumstance does not realize that they are foreign to the area and leave them be even if they notice that there is hair there. Just washing the area is not enough if the hairs are allowed to stay. I hope you are lucky and it clears up completely. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664/36 "2005-12-05T21:27:48Z")
1. I have a smooth ass, thankyouverymuch. 2. It’s all healed now, nothing to see here…move along, move along. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-bites-back-tmi/333664.md?page=1)