# My Ass is Asleep,...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-is-asleep/67351>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 2, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-is-asleep/67351 "2001-06-02T19:39:49Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-is-asleep/67351/1 "2001-06-02T19:39:49Z")

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And I need to get the heck off of it and go have a life. But do I? Oh, no - I have to see what’s happening in IMHO, then GD, then GQ first. Then I’ll probably have to go back to The Pit and see what’s cropped up since I was there an hour ago. Then, maybe, after my ass has spread another 1/2 inch, I’ve snacked my way through everything in the house, and my eyes are all squinty and sore, maybe then I’ll sign out and go have a life. Maybe.  
::Walks off grumbling, “Damn message boards, shouldn’t be allowed to be so addictive…”::

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**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-is-asleep/67351/2 "2001-06-02T20:11:26Z")

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…my ass is asleep too!

How’d you do that?

Myself I refer to it as Numb Bum!

"My name is Elbows and I’m a dope-a-holic.  
I know I should want to change…  
I know there are other things need doing…  
I know there’s a whole world out there…  
I know it’s getting late…

but, just one more little thread…

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**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-is-asleep/67351/3 "2001-06-02T20:42:08Z")

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Tell it, mama!

Since I discovered the Straight Dope Message Board everybody thinks I died or something. Took the efforts of no fewer than six people to extract me from my apartment last night to have a night out on the town.

I don’t even bother to explain my board antics… much easier to just tell 'em I recently developed agoraphobia.

Heh, heh.

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**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-is-asleep/67351/4 "2001-06-02T23:27:18Z")

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Benny Hill Joke:

My bum is asleep.  
Yes, I know. I could hear it snoring.

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**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\
**Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ass-is-asleep/67351/5 "2001-06-03T12:42:19Z")

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I don’t know about everyone else, but I was reminded of Dorothy Parker’s “film review” when reading the thread title:

“For once in my life, I envied my feet. They were asleep.” 😛