# My balls hurt just thinking 'bout this... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 25, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025 "2001-06-25T01:41:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/1 "2001-06-25T01:41:11Z")
From Sutherland & Watts, _Henry V, War Criminal? and Other Shakespeare Puzzles_ > [@](#): > > The Maoris, one is told, tied wet rawhide round their testicles before going into battle, to render themselves **- as the rawhide dried and shrank -** berserk fighters. (Bolding mine) Now, I have to say that far from rendering one beserk, I would have thought this would incapacitate the warriors, but what do I know? Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/2 "2001-06-25T02:05:51Z")
Jesus… I’m glad I don’t HAVE any testicles. If I did, I fear that they would have packed up and ran home (_snickers_) Yeah, I’m a little loopy tonight. So screw me. I mean, sue me. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/3 "2001-06-25T02:37:47Z")
NP, on behalf of my testicles, … Damnit. I can’t think of anything to say. I know it should hurt for me to think about this, but . . . not much hurts them. Hell, my brother punched me there a week or so ago and it only hurt for about a minute. I could walk and everything. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/4 "2001-06-25T02:48:15Z")
Well it would certain make me into a berserk fighter! But I’d be much more likely to hurt the SOB trying to tie the rawhide than the poor enemy across the field. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/5 "2001-06-25T03:05:43Z")
Firstly, the term is **Maori** , and not _Maoris._ And secondly, I would imagine I wouldn’t be here today if my ancestors really did that. But if it’s true… Yeep! I’m glad I was born in the 20th Century! ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/6 "2001-06-25T04:03:08Z")
**GuanoLad** - I guess there should be a [sic] there - I quoted directly from the book. Unfortunately, the authors don’t give a cite for this statement - if you find anything, either supporting or denying the statement, I’d be interested in hearing about it. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/7 "2001-06-25T09:22:16Z")
yes, okay, so it was a _really_ stupid idea to open this thread. But why did I have to go and read the OP, too? _shakes head sadly_ ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/8 "2001-06-25T10:17:24Z")
I believe the name is actually “Moro” and the legend dates from the Phillipine Insurection. According to the legend, the Army began using the .45 caliber pistol at this time because a smaller weapon would not stop a person who had his testicles bound with wet rawhide. My source for this story is _From Here To Eternity_, a work of fiction by James Jones. Jones was usually pretty factual with his history. I heard the same story from an ROTC instructor, for what that is worth. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/9 "2001-06-25T10:45:15Z")
Nothing worse than facing a horde of berserkers with really high-pitched girlie screams… ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/10 "2001-06-25T11:34:46Z")
Now my ancestors, they had it right. Just take off all your clothes, bite your sword (if you could afford one) or your shield, and charge into battle. None of this tie wet leather around your balls to go insane, Nah, all we need is a cut lip 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/11 "2001-06-25T12:31:58Z")
Re the Maori/rawhide thing – sounds like a lot of piffle to me. 19th century European ideas of extremes in behaviour nearly always used some cooked-up or other “tradition” of the South Sea Isles. I believe that the genitals were held to be sacred among Polynesians. Self-abuse just to get a rush during battle seems unlikely, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/12 "2001-06-25T13:58:38Z")
As long as we’re kinda on the topic, is it really true that with the proper training it’s possible to pull the testicles up into the body cavity? Sounds like a great party trick to me. ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/13 "2001-06-25T15:12:41Z")
Slortar - it’s hooey. I’m still waiting for the testicle torsion guy to put in an appearance. I can’t remember who - I am still trying to block that horror from my mind. Beg glad you’re not Zande. These men practice subincision. Take a knife to the underside of your penis and split the urethra open from base to glans. Congratulations, you’re subincised! Hope you enjoy that butterflied penis! Don’t ask me how you urinate or have sex. I still regret that I missed the day the professor ran THAT filmstrip. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/14 "2001-06-25T18:17:49Z")
Well, damn. That ruins my day. And I was about to pick up another ninja skill, too. I guess I’ll have to move straight on to “catching bullets.” ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/15 "2001-06-25T18:56:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LouisB \* > \*\*I believe the name is actually “Moro” and the legend dates from the Phillipine Insurection. According to the legend, the Army began using the .45 caliber pistol at this time because a smaller weapon would not stop a person who had his testicles bound with wet rawhide. My source for this story is _From Here To Eternity_, a work of fiction by James Jones. Jones was usually pretty factual with his history. I heard the same story from an ROTC instructor, for what that is worth. \*\* I can’t tell if you’re joking, so I’ll just assume that you’re not. Moros are Phillipine. The Maori are from New Zealand. I had heard that the .45 was introduced for its greater stopping power against the Moro, who would bind their arms and legs in such a way that it reduced the normal effects of hydrostatic shock and blood loss associated with receiving gunfire. As far as retracting the testicles into the body, do you mean without using your hands? 'Cause it’s easy if you use your hands. (Okay, now I have to wonder, is that common knowledge, or am I a freak of nature?) ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/16 "2001-06-25T19:32:13Z")
Okay, I just want to let everyone know that this was one of the last threads I read last night before I went to bed, and that I had a dream about it last night. So, if anyone’s interested, I can describe in pretty good detail exactly what the strips of wet rawhide looked like and how they were operated. If you’re interested. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/17 "2001-06-25T22:34:59Z")
I retracted my testicles into my body cavity when I was a boy. But I used a bicycle, a steep hill, and a brick wall. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/18 "2001-06-26T00:30:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by don Jaime \* > **Be glad you’re not Zande. These men practice subincision. Take a knife to the underside of your penis and split the urethra open from base to glans. Congratulations, you’re subincised! Hope you enjoy that butterflied penis! Don’t ask me how you urinate or have sex.** Huh. I’ve heard of splitting the glans, but this–this is a bit much. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/19 "2001-06-26T00:31:02Z")
> [@](#): > > As long as we’re kinda on the topic, is it really true that with the proper training it’s possible to pull the testicles up into the body cavity? Sounds like a great party trick to me. Do that to much and they get stuck up there. But untill that happens it would be a great party trick.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025/20 "2001-06-27T06:06:14Z")
> [@](#): > > As long as we’re kinda on the topic, is it really true that with the proper training it’s possible to pull the testicles up into the body cavity? Sounds like a great party trick to me. **slortar** , the Master has dealt with this issue (you know, this is just the sort of issue the Master does deal with): [Can sumos retract their testicles inside their bodies?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_083.html) He concludes that it’s just a legend, but in doing so gives a classic piece of Cecilian prose: > [@](#): > > In the novel, Bond gets to watch a practice battle by some apprentice commandos, who ferociously kick each other in the cojones without anyone appearing to feel pain. Later, the inscrutable head of the Japanese secret service, Tiger Tanaka, tells Bond that starting at the age of 14, junior sumos are taught that by “assiduously massaging” the appropriate organs, they can eventually cause the testicles to reenter the body via the inguinal canal, from which they originally descended. In my Catholic grade school, in contrast, we were told doing this would cause hairy palms and blindness. Just shows you the vast cultural gulf that separates us from the Orient. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-balls-hurt-just-thinking-bout-this/70025.md?page=2)