# My bed beat me up today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2014, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233 "2014-10-03T02:23:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![boffking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@boffking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boffking)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/1 "2014-10-03T02:23:27Z")
I have a lot of stuff and not much space, so a while back I put my bed up on blocks and put boxes of things underneath it. They are 2-part tapered plastic blocks, much like these [http://www.amazon.com/Simplify-2998-Adjustable-Raiser-8-Inch/dp/B003TPY6EE/ref=cm\_cr\_pr\_product\_top](http://www.amazon.com/Simplify-2998-Adjustable-Raiser-8-Inch/dp/B003TPY6EE/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top) . I saw that one of them was crooked, so i pushed one of the boxes to the side with my foot. The whole bed came down on my foot. As it came down, the rails seperated and the frame fell taking all the blocks down. When I was putting the rails back together, I cut up my hands. I feel humiliated, I lost a fight with a bed. ---
**Author:** ![plankter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@plankter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plankter)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/2 "2014-10-03T04:44:03Z")
Ouch. If it’s any consolation, that’s just the sort of thing that happens to me. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/3 "2014-10-03T05:03:08Z")
I think it happens to all of us from time to time. I myself was recently ambushed by a laundry basket. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/4 "2014-10-03T09:25:54Z")
A futon once kicked my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/5 "2014-10-03T11:21:25Z")
Will someone be sleeping on the couch til he makes up too? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/6 "2014-10-03T11:51:32Z")
My t-shirt whipped my ass yesterday - I prefer to wear a couple sizes too big, and extra long over those silky athletic shorts around the house, and while I was crutching my way to the bathroom the bottom of my shirt sort of wrapped around my crutch and interfered with my grip [I have grips made of that soft almost human flesh like silicone, very comfortably but slightly ‘sticky’ I guess you could describe it as.] The cat decided to make figure 8s around my ankles and I tried not hitting him with my sticks and fell [luckily] onto the sofa. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/7 "2014-10-03T12:02:39Z")
My sister’s bed once gave her a black eye. The only reason my bed hasn’t beaten the snot out of me is because I’m so wary around it. ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/8 "2014-10-03T14:08:15Z")
The door knobs in my house are constantly plotting against me. I’ll be minding my own business carrying a basket of laundry into the bedroom and the door knob will insinuate itself into my pocket as I pass and SNAP me back! They are teaching this to the drawer pulls in the kitchen too. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/9 "2014-10-03T15:41:36Z")
I read the title as “My _dad_ beat…”, and I was waiting for him to come in and give you a whuppin’ for putting your bed up on blocks. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/10 "2014-10-03T16:15:06Z")
I’ve been attacked by my own glasses. To be fair, there are other times that they’ve just fallen apart on me. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/11 "2014-10-03T16:46:26Z")
I lost a toenail\* to a chopping board\*\*. :smack: \*It grew back. 🆒 \*\*Gravity was involved. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/12 "2014-10-03T17:36:57Z")
I have a new closet organizer waiting to be installed. It’s angry about the delay and I have several bruises to prove it. It’s longer than the wall it’s leaning on and in the dark it jumps out and beats on my legs. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/13 "2014-10-03T18:50:00Z")
A Murphy bed could beat you up, then take you hostage. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/14 "2014-10-03T19:05:24Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > I read the title as “My _dad_ beat…”, and I was waiting for him to come in and give you a whuppin’ for putting your bed up on blocks. I know **my** dad would give me a rightly-deserved whuppin’ if I tried to put him up on blocks. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/15 "2014-10-03T19:31:46Z")
I lost a fight with my iron recently. Sonofabitch ambushed me. I was ironing my shirt (see, mom, this is why I don’t iron - not because I’m a slob) and I stopped paying attention for one second, and the little bastard leaned in and burned the shit out of my arm. Left a really nasty burn, and I still have a burn mark a couple of months later. Asshole iron needs to learn to fight fair. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/16 "2014-10-03T22:12:06Z")
On Tuesday, for supper we had “Exploding Fish Dish Surprise.” The surprise was the Pyrex-type (I’m guessing the new soda-lime glass, not the old borosilicate glass, although I generally use old thrift shop bakeware pans for that reason) exploded into all kinds of bits from 1cc cubes to tiny fragments that cling to skin like beach sand. I had pulled it out of the oven to check done-ness and it just went crack boom bah! My son called it “Dinner Wars: Revenge of the Fish”. No animal baseed protien was served that night for dinner. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/17 "2014-10-04T01:24:37Z")
My bed has stabbed people (including me) a few times but I got back at it when I mistook it for a sadistic P.E. teacher (darn, overmedicated again!) and beat it up. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleClogs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@PurpleClogs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleClogs)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/18 "2014-10-04T02:38:40Z")
The baby gate we use to fence off the dogs in the kitchen is trying to take out my left pinky toe. What have they done to deserve this abuse? Maybe I should just cut it off and get it over with. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/19 "2014-10-04T02:46:48Z")
If it makes you feel any better, I got beat up by a window last night. I have these crazy windows in my condo where you can just grab the top of the lower window frame (the one you raise to open a window, push down to shut the window) and it will swing right down, popping out of the window frame. It was one of the first cool autumn nights last night so I wanted some fresh air. Before going to bed I opened most of my windows. I must have pulled a bit, because in the middle of the night - I don’t know if the wind pushed it, or what, but the damn window directly over my bed fell right on my face. Busted me right in the nose in the middle of the night. Not too much blood, and thank God the glass didn’t break, but what the hell man. I thought I was safe from window attacks. I was so wrong. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bed-beat-me-up-today/700233/20 "2014-10-04T06:05:43Z")
There is no place that if there is anything on or within 4 " of the floor that will not beat the heck out of my little toes. I’ll save the shin high stuff for another thread.