# My Beyoncé died ........ **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 16, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243 "2002-08-16T20:49:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/1 "2002-08-16T20:49:18Z")
Yes, I have lost my beloved [big-dicked cat](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=130962) [Beyoncé](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=131062) … or was it [Fiona](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=131066) … when you’re [lonely and typing this fast](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=130965), sometimes it’s hard to know … Anyway … I just wanted you all to know. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/2 "2002-08-16T21:02:31Z")
Hahaha…I get it…I get jokes… And anyway, YEAH what was up with that guy?? I mean shit, didn’t I see an episode of the fresh prince that was just like his story?? ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/3 "2002-08-16T21:10:23Z")
YOR MEEN IM IN PAYNE IM LEAVING CUZ YOO GET YELLED AT HEER!!! [sub]Koko!! Did you take out the garbage yet?[/sub] [sub]Aww MOM!!! I’m on the compooter!!![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/4 "2002-08-16T21:10:26Z")
He’s in supposedly in PA and her family in CA. I wonder… ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/5 "2002-08-16T21:10:30Z")
Just out of curiosity today I checked, and yes there is bungee jumping available at one location in Kittaning, but no, they haven’t had any fatalities today. Just in case anyone was worried. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/6 "2002-08-16T21:14:17Z")
BTW: Something tells me Opal wouldn’t want anything to do with this freak. Now I’m wondering if her webcam site received any messages from him. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/7 "2002-08-16T21:18:10Z")
> [@](#): > > God I came here for Sympthay Because I’m Feeling bad and i get all this crap. Oh, and **Scylla** , did you check “FRIGGIN PA,” cuz that’s where it said they “USED TO LIVE.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/8 "2002-08-16T21:25:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Just out of curiosity today I checked, and yes there is bungee jumping available at one location in Kittaning, but no, they haven’t had any fatalities today. > > Just in case anyone was worried. \*\* But **Scylla** -he told them to keep it out of the news!!! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/9 "2002-08-16T21:31:44Z")
Just so you guys all know…I love you a lot, but if I ever have a tragedy in my family, I won’t post it here for at least…two hours after it happened. I think I’ll tell my mom first. I hope that doesn’t bother you guys or hurt our friendship. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/10 "2002-08-16T21:35:25Z")
Even money **concrete** , 4/1 the field. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/11 "2002-08-16T21:40:04Z")
I wonder what runs through the mind of a troll like this - did he perform some sort of internal QA on this story, decide it was iron-clad, then light up a cigar? ATTENTION EVERYONE: I was bitten by a Gila Monster ten seconds ago. It’s still attached to my ankle. Please advise. ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/12 "2002-08-16T21:46:18Z")
Get thicker socks? ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/13 "2002-08-16T21:46:54Z")
Dooku-I’m coming to your aid, have no fear! I live in cal. and i’ll be there shortly, I have to take a bike because mommy won’t drive me anywhere… ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/14 "2002-08-16T21:50:34Z")
No, I thought he was in Pennsylvania, and the fiancee who died was in California with her parents. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/15 "2002-08-16T21:52:40Z")
We’re not going to pay attention to you, **Dooku** , unless you get to us a lot sooner with this information and post it in more forums. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/16 "2002-08-16T21:56:40Z")
Damn this Internet connection!! Starting to feel woozy… This is really bad luck, since I was just informed 30 seconds ago that my entire family contracted Dutch Elm Disease. Must…find…airfare…lights…[sub]growing dim…ddnsldslflsnn…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/17 "2002-08-16T21:59:13Z")
I’ll take ten dollars at 4/1 freak bungee jumping accident? more like she slipped on loose muesli. ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/18 "2002-08-16T22:00:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > > ATTENTION EVERYONE: I was bitten by a Gila Monster ten seconds ago. It’s still attached to my ankle. Please advise. Attach a Tegu to your other ankle for balance…now it’s just a matter of finding the right hat and your ready to hit the town. ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/19 "2002-08-16T22:02:44Z")
_you’re_…rather… ‘sigh’ ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/20 "2002-08-16T22:03:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > \*\*ATTENTION EVERYONE: I was bitten by a Gila Monster ten seconds ago. It’s still attached to my ankle. Please advise. \*\* OMFG!!! That’s soooo tragic, **Dooku**! I feel so bad for you! Okay - whatever you do, don’t enrage the little critter. He’ll take your whole leg off if he suspects you’re mocking him. If there are small childern in the area, grab one and try to distract the gila monster with it. Shake it around in front of his jaws and he might let you go and clamp onto the child instead. If you can, try to present the child’s throat to the gila monster - they especially like the windpipe. After the gila monster has let you go, douse the wound with napalm and throw yourself in front of the nearest high-speed chase. Good luck and I’ll be praying for you!!! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243.md?page=2)