# My Beyoncé died ........ **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 16, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243 "2002-08-16T20:49:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Robb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Robb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robb)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/21 "2002-08-16T22:17:02Z")
Wow, Dooku, Dutch Elm disease. Your family are goners for sure. I didn’t even know y’all were Dutch. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/22 "2002-08-16T22:25:16Z")
> [@](#): > > , I won’t post it here for at least…two hours after it happened. > > I think I’ll tell my mom first. > > I hope that doesn’t bother you guys or hurt our friendship. Heartless bitch. Where are your priorities? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/23 "2002-08-16T22:29:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > \*\*ATTENTION EVERYONE: I was bitten by a Gila Monster ten seconds ago. It’s still attached to my ankle. Please advise. \*\* Did it have a, you know, penis? ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/24 "2002-08-16T22:29:35Z")
Don’t worry, [he’s feeling better now.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=131092) :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/25 "2002-08-16T22:32:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferrous \* > \*\*Don’t worry, [he’s feeling better now.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=131092) > > :rolleyes: \*\* Not that we’ll ever know how he’s feeling from now on. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/26 "2002-08-16T22:45:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus \* > \*\*Not that we’ll ever know how he’s feeling from now on. \*\* And you said \I\ was insensitive! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/27 "2002-08-16T23:10:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\* > > Heartless bitch. Where are your priorities? \*\* This had me rolling for a few minutes!!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/28 "2002-08-16T23:15:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferrous \* > \*\*Don’t worry, [he’s feeling better now.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=131092) > > :rolleyes: \*\* Visions of Monty Python and the Holy Grail flash through my head. “I got betta” ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/29 "2002-08-16T23:47:32Z")
Oh dear. I just got off the phone with the authorities, who informed me that my whole family and all my friends were just sucked into quicksand while driving to see me in the hospital, where I’ve been since this morning after I lost both my feet in a weed-whacking accident. I come here for support and what do I find? You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/30 "2002-08-16T23:49:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Robb \* > \*\*Wow, Dooku, Dutch Elm disease. Your family are goners for sure. > > I didn’t even know y’all were Dutch. \*\* You’re surprised? He told ME a few weeks ago that he was a FERN! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/31 "2002-08-16T23:50:41Z")
[Butthead] These trolls, like, try too hard, or something ehehehe…I said “hard”… [/Butthead] ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/32 "2002-08-16T23:54:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoid \* > \*\*I come here for support and what do I find? You should all be ashamed of yourselves. \*\* It’s “auggry.” Satisfied now? ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/33 "2002-08-17T00:16:24Z")
Ya know Stoid, I would’ve had some compassion for you if you had horribly misspelled a few dozen words… ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/34 "2002-08-17T00:16:24Z")
_ **Attention** _ My uterus just prolapsed. While it has made posting difficult having to stand up bowlegged, I thought I’d inform the Straight Dope before hitting the ER and having it stuffed back in place. ::waddles off:: ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/35 "2002-08-17T00:24:10Z")
Ya know Stoid, I would’ve had some compassion for you if you had horribly misspelled a few dozen words… ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/36 "2002-08-17T00:26:37Z")
Oh, my #@ My cpu is acting up again! Maybe it’s weeping for Koko… ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/37 "2002-08-17T00:35:03Z")
Ogay, I gan doo thaat. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/38 "2002-08-17T00:38:18Z")
Poor Koko…he must be stupid with grief by now… ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/39 "2002-08-17T00:40:51Z")
Well Stoid, now I truly feel bad about the weed wacker and the quicksand… It’s only a shame you couldn’t have misspelled sooner… ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/40 "2002-08-17T00:49:31Z")
What is all this I hear about bunny bumping? People are so cruel to animals. There are all these vicious things being done to the poor creatures. Cow T.P.ing, whimpering to horses; isn’t that bad enough? Why do people want to be mean to cute little … \ Nevermind [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243.md?page=3)