# My Beyoncé died ........ **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 16, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243 "2002-08-16T20:49:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/41 "2002-08-17T00:56:03Z")
Ack! I’ve just come down with consumption! And the ague! And a candiru fish has just lodged in my penis! And now my cat is chasing it! AAAAAAAHHHH!!! ---
**Author:** ![QueenAl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/d26b3c/32.png) [@QueenAl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QueenAl)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/42 "2002-08-17T01:20:08Z")
You lucky bastards with your Gila monsters and consumption. _I_ died ten minutes ago! ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/43 "2002-08-17T01:32:01Z")
Wait…isn’t Koko that talking gorilla? ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/44 "2002-08-17T01:35:26Z")
Jinwicked-I think you meant “typing”. ---
**Author:** ![JBERGES](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed8c4c/32.png) [@JBERGES](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBERGES)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/45 "2002-08-17T01:48:20Z")
Ooh… **Jin** is right, we have ourselves a celebrity. I’d start searching for bungie jumping _gorilla_ fatalities, but I’m a bit busy fending of the ghost of Adolf Hitler with my self-amputated arm. And I could use some sympathy here… ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/46 "2002-08-17T02:25:31Z")
Okay, it is JUST possible that this guy was sincere and merely immature. He isn’t banned, so no one has been able to determine that he is a troll. Could we give it a rest with the abuse? Yes, you are all supremely funny. But could we please assume the best instead of the worst here? ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/47 "2002-08-17T03:08:35Z")
> [@](#): > > Just 3 min. ago I had got the news that she was killed during one of her favorite activites Bungee Jumping. She was all preped and ready to go and when she jumped the cord snapped. The doctor thinks that if she would of just hit the water and the cord snapped closer to her she might of lived. But the cord snapped at the anchor posit and flung at her and snapped her neck. Am I the only one who can’t quite grasp what happened: She jumped - yup The cord snapped - don’t it have to run out some before the elasticity starts to bite (over here it does) The cord snaps at the anchor posit - by which time she should be halfway down the mountain, but she ain’t The cord “flungs” at her - that’s some flunging It breaks her neck - hows that work again ? - I only did one jump but it didn’t, couldn’t, work like that. Death by flung - who knew ? ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/48 "2002-08-17T03:10:24Z")
Well, my two cents is that we **are** assuming the best! IE: that someone made up a story about his “fionse” dying… Wouln’t the worst case be if she actually **had** died? ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/49 "2002-08-17T03:15:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > Okay, it is JUST possible that this guy was sincere and merely immature. He isn’t banned, so no one has been able to determine that he is a troll. Could we give it a rest with the abuse? Yes, you are all supremely funny. But could we please assume the best instead of the worst here? I bet you own huge tracts of extremely valuable land in South Florida, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/50 "2002-08-17T03:18:11Z")
**Scotti** your sentiment is admirable here. Did you happen to click on the later thread, though? it was posted this same day, shortly after the other one was closed and in it he said 'well, it’s been a while since she died,…". So, if it **was** real, this guy can set world records for working through his grief. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/51 "2002-08-17T03:41:17Z")
There’s no place in Kittanning to go bungee jumping. Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![peasea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc79bd/32.png) [@peasea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peasea)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/52 "2002-08-17T04:22:37Z")
And then he posts everyone’s favorite riddle about words ending in gry. Which is more likely? He got over the death of his fieonse in half a day and found a riddle he thought was so original he needed to share with everyone, or he did it because he knew the gry thing would get a reaction out of people here? ---
**Author:** ![dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dreamer)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/53 "2002-08-17T05:04:13Z")
OK - so I posted my AOL/AIM name in a thread and today I get this IM from **KOKOKO9080**. He seems pretty nice at first with a simple “Hi, how are you today?” I answer and say “fine thanks, how are you?” (At that time I had no idea who this person was but I like to be cordial) Anyway he returns with a “I’m from the SDMB and nobody believes me” “Hmmm” I say, “why’s that?” “My fionce died and nobody believes me - this sucks” Apparantly he was through chatting with me at that point because he logged off AIM. Poor kid, I mean his fionce dies and no one believes him and then he gets taken to the pit for it! Gheesh you guys!! 😉 ::prays for KOKO but feels secure in the fact that he’s doing better now and can at least come up with amusing riddles at a time like this:: ---
**Author:** ![Lyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Lyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyra)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/54 "2002-08-17T05:10:25Z")
But **I** need my massive smounts of sympathy, too. I mean really, I live in Lousiana and everyone I know has the West Nile Virus. We can’t even go outdoors at dusk or dawn without being afraid. We have a serial killer in Baton Rouge and it is still as hot as hell, extremely humid and no end in sight. Don’t make me do it, if I ever feel unloved by fellow dopers I swear the ants in my ant farm (all 10,000 of them) will die one by one and have massive eulogies until you guys love me again. an uh, uh pleeeze luv meee two, cuze i knead two feal thatt yawl like me two, uh, pleeze dopeers… Sorry, couldn’t resist, I know it’s cruel and could really happen. But really, what is that 3rd **GRY** word??? pleeeze dopeers tell me. ---
**Author:** ![Lyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Lyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyra)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/55 "2002-08-17T05:10:34Z")
But **I** need my massive smounts of sympathy, too. I mean really, I live in Lousiana and everyone I know has the West Nile Virus. We can’t even go outdoors at dusk or dawn without being afraid. We have a serial killer in Baton Rouge and it is still as hot as hell, extremely humid and no end in sight. Don’t make me do it, if I ever feel unloved by fellow dopers I swear the ants in my ant farm (all 10,000 of them) will die one by one and have massive eulogies until you guys love me again. an uh, uh pleeeze luv meee two, cuze i knead two feal thatt yawl like me two, uh, pleeze dopeers… Sorry, couldn’t resist, I know it’s cruel and could really happen. But really, what is that 3rd **GRY** word??? pleeeze dopeers tell me. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sinyster1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Sinyster1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinyster1)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/56 "2002-08-17T05:26:54Z")
The GRY is just to throw you off. After Angry and Hungry he said, their are 3 words in the english language what is the third word? The third word is language 1)The 2)English 3)Language Hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dreamer)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/57 "2002-08-17T05:28:14Z")
Heh - everytime I type :🙏: on this message board someone sticks their tongue out at me. Must be some kind of sign or something. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/58 "2002-08-17T05:35:05Z")
Originally posted by **Darwin’s Finch** > [@](#): > > …he must be stupid with grief by now… Whaddya mean, “by now”? 😉 I know that was mean, but it was too tempting to pass up. Originally posted by **London\_Calling** > [@](#): > > …that’s some flunging…Death by flung - who knew ? This still has me in a fit of giggles. I will have to use “Death by flung - who knew?” during conversation at a later date. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/59 "2002-08-17T12:46:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lyra \* > cuze i knead two feal thatt yawl like me two Hey, what’d I do to be dragged into th– Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/60 "2002-08-17T13:06:25Z")
Hey all, I just had the entire top of my head taken off in a freak pie-eating accident. What am I supposed to do now? HUH?? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243.md?page=4)