# My Beyoncé died ........ **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 16, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243 "2002-08-16T20:49:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/61 "2002-08-17T13:37:29Z")
From this thread, it sounds like our hero has already told someone it was a joke. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=131138](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=131138) ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/62 "2002-08-17T13:48:05Z")
It’s nice to see how quickly you guys can ferret out the bullshitters. And how quickly the mods take care of them. I admit…I’ve wandered over the other boards, trying to find the same diversity and dedication to moderating the board that I find here…I keep coming back. Hi, my name is Ivylass. I’m a Straight Dope addict.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/63 "2002-08-17T14:09:56Z")
I cried because I had no cat, until I met a man whose cat had no penis. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/64 "2002-08-17T15:07:22Z")
The guy IMed me relentlessly while I was not around, accused me of hating him for not responding, and eventually when I got back, proceeded to talk to me for a long time. I read the relevant threads and decided to play his game. I asked him what her name was, and where it happened… he complained that he was banned, and I told him that if he could prove it was true and write an email to TubaDiva they might un-ban him. I then told him that I would help him clear his name and prove that he was telling the truth. I looked up the police department in the town where the bridge was and actually called them but they were closed. I told him that I was calling them and he said “don’t… it doesn’t matter, I’m already banned” and I continued with the clearing his name thing. Then he told me that he’d told the police and news not to reveal anything “for personal reasons”. But I reassured him that deaths are a matter of public record and that by law they couldn’t refuse to give that info. This sort of thing went on for a while and then he confessed that it was all a joke. I lectured him a bit about the way our community works, about the actual deaths and losses that we’ve dealt with, and linked him to Wally’s memorial page. He said he was really sorry, that he felt like total crap, etc. He seemed sincere. I suggested that he write an apology to TubaDiva. I told him I doubted they’d unban him but that it was the decent thing to do. He said he would. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/65 "2002-08-17T18:10:21Z")
> [@](#): > > I admit…I’ve wandered over the other boards, trying to find the same diversity and dedication to moderating the board that I find here…I keep coming back. As long as we don’t have to be dedicated to moderation. That would suck. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/66 "2002-08-17T19:34:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\*It’s nice to see how quickly you guys can ferret out the bullshitters. And how quickly the mods take care of them. > \*\* That’s 75% of the reason I like these boards: no morons (or a distinct lack thereof). Agreeing with **waterwj** that as long as we didn’t overdo the moderation to the point of leaning into censorship, I believe the Dopers themselves provide the best moderation of all - calling out the bullshit. Tripler Hi, I’m Tripler, and I’m running for President. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/67 "2002-08-17T19:38:14Z")
Whoa, sorry, make that: **waterj2**. Tripler Damn preview ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/68 "2002-08-17T19:52:24Z")
I was just talking about moderation in general. I’m all in favor of excess. But I agree with the sentiment you thought I was expressing nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/69 "2002-08-17T19:53:18Z")
> [@](#): > > That’s 75% of the reason I like these boards: no morons I can name you a few. ---
**Author:** ![coosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/70 "2002-08-17T20:22:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Buck The Diver \* > \*\*I cried because I had no cat, until I met a man whose cat had no penis. \*\* Don’t spend another minute grieving over your catlessness, **Buck** - I can fill that cat-less void in your life _immediately_, _AND_ at **ABSOLUTELY NO CHARGE!** Just drop by and point out which one of the dozen or so rescued kitties running around here you find appealing. As a matter of fact, for NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE you may choose SEVERAL cats to compensate for your years of suffering a pussy-less life! DON’T MISS THIS UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY TO ENRICH YOUR LIFE! Oh, and I don’t see what is so sad about a penis-less cat - normally those are called ‘females’. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Montezuma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3be4f8/32.png) [@Montezuma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montezuma)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/71 "2002-08-17T20:28:31Z")
they say you get a profile out of a name, why de call himself KOKO801801801801810? Why’d he get banned? He’s and attention seeker-Just like me!! But went too far. ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/72 "2002-08-17T21:00:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by coosa \* > \*\* > > Don’t spend another minute grieving over your catlessness, **Buck** - I can fill that cat-less void in your life _immediately_, _AND_ at **ABSOLUTELY NO CHARGE!** Just drop by and point out which one of the dozen or so rescued kitties running around here you find appealing. As a matter of fact, for NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE you may choose SEVERAL cats to compensate for your years of suffering a pussy-less life! DON’T MISS THIS UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY TO ENRICH YOUR LIFE! > > Oh, and I don’t see what is so sad about a penis-less cat - normally those are called ‘females’. 😃 \*\* I can make your cat penis so big it hurts. Just like the email says. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/73 "2002-08-17T21:05:47Z")
> [@](#): > > I cried because I had no cat, until I met a man whose cat had no penis. I cried because a cat ran away with my penis in its mouth. ---
**Author:** ![xcheopis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xcheopis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xcheopis)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/74 "2002-08-17T21:15:42Z")
> [@](#): > > I cried because a cat ran away with my penis in its mouth. “I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again.” ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/75 "2002-08-17T21:37:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crusoe \* > \*\* > > I can make your cat penis so big it hurts. Just like the email says. \*\* :eek: You’re not allowed to play with my cat. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/76 "2002-08-17T22:24:25Z")
I have to tell you…I got laid ten minutes ago and the first thing I thought of was letting all of you know. Sniff. I think I’m going to go order pizza now. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/77 "2002-08-17T22:33:58Z")
You waited a _whole ten minutes_ to let us know?! Why, you should have been dragging yourself straight from the…erm, “moment of truth” to the keyboard! Shame on you! Don’t you want us to be your friends? ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/78 "2002-08-17T23:01:20Z")
I’m sorry. I didn’t explain myself properly. What I meant to say was we had started 10 minutes before. We’d finished 1 …let’s see. foreplay, 4 minutes, then 5 more…yeah. We’d finished 1 minute before. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/79 "2002-08-18T00:23:47Z")
[Jack Dean Tyler] So…cats, eh? [/Jack Dean Tyler] ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243/80 "2002-08-18T00:26:00Z")
sure, but can your cat make **$1000** per sale? **GUARENTEED?** my cat just died…it was another tragic case of death by flung… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-beyonce-died/124243.md?page=5)