# My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 20, 2004, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280 "2004-01-20T03:52:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/41 "2004-01-27T15:21:18Z")
Her friend made the same horrible expression as she did when she saw Steve. I mean, the guy hasn’t said a word, and the girl is turning her nose up at him. If Randi had waited until after he started acting obnoxious, I would have understood, but she and her friend judged him on looks alone. I hope he completely humiliates her. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/42 "2004-01-27T15:40:57Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > Can anyone recap some highlights of last night…I missed it do to voracious grading until 2 a.m. > > I too hope Steve drives them crazy and they lose…I just want to see the looks on The families face when they find out they lost the chance to get a lot of dough if they just accepted Steve. It’s horrid to think families like this actually exist and are sooo low. It’s hard to really convey the snootiness and humorlessness of Randi but to summarize the action: They were sent to a wedding planner to pick out flowers, wine, etc. They were supposed to convonce the planner that they were for real. Steve did some mildly irritating things like spitting out an appetizer. At one point they were tasting wine and the planner told her that they were supposed to kiss when drinking the wine (for luck or something, I don’t remember, exactly) and Randi acted like she was going to die. Steve leaned over and gave her a peck on the lips (they’re SUPPOSED to be in love, after all) and Randi acted like she’d been shot. In her interview afterward she was just bristling with outrage that he had dared to kiss like her. Another theme of the episode was that Steve was supposed to act like he was getting a crush on her and she started to get really nervous. They were worried she would quit so they had Steve tell her that he was into Asian chicks and she bought it. 😃 She gave him a list of stuff he needed to change about himself (she’s already perfect, apparently) with “no kisssing” at the top of the list. Of course, newly engaged couples never kiss. She seems terrified that somebody might actually think she likes the guy. Then they were supposed to talk to a sex therapist about the sex life (again, the therapist was supposedly not in on the scam but I don’t know how they explained the camera crew). Randi froze up and wouldn’t talk and acted like she was going to be sick the whole time. Steve was a little over the top but not gross, just silly. Randi then accused him of being “inappropriate” because he told the sex therapist they were having sex (which is what the producers told then to do). Then they brought in Randi’s shallow, snotty friend. Randi had lunch with her and told her she was engaged. The friend was excited at first until she saw Steve. (when asked in a cut-away interview what kind of man she thought randi would marry, the friend said stuff like “Tall, athletic, handsome” nothing about personality, character or anything other than looks). The episode ended with Steve walking in and the camera showed a slow-motion shot of the aghast expression on the friend’s face. Remember all she knows about him is what he looks like. This Randi, her friend and her family are all horrible. Either that or it’s just an elaborate hoax on the audience. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/43 "2004-01-27T17:20:06Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > …(again, the therapist was supposedly not in on the scam but I don’t know how they explained the camera crew). They can explain the cameras being there because the two of them supposedly met on a dating show (like “The Bachelor,” I assume?) and are getting married on TV, so even if Randi thinks the wedding planner and the sex therapist are not “in on it” that’s why the cameras are always with them. The wedding planner and therapist are actually in on it, though, right? Randi just doesn’t know that… What I think is funny is that in the little secret interviews with Steve, he seems like a really nice guy. Funny, smart, and genuinely concerned that the whole joke was going too far and that they were really hurting her feelings. I’d go out with the real Steve (not the obnoxious character “Steve” 🙂 ). ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/44 "2004-01-27T17:29:33Z")
I bet she falls in love with him. She already is starting to love/hate him, not in a romantic way but that will change. When she sees, after the show is over, that he is all the things that she liked about him, but with none of the obnoxiousness, the galvanizing effects of having been through this whole thing, post-show talk shows and all, we’ll take over and she’ll swoon. Well, maybe not. But it would make great TV. ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/45 "2004-01-27T17:34:22Z")
Whoops, will not we’ll. ---
**Author:** ![Zazie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Zazie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zazie)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/46 "2004-01-27T18:02:30Z")
The show did specifically say that the wedding planners and sex therapist did NOT know it was fake. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/47 "2004-01-27T18:04:54Z")
Thanks for the re-cap **Diogenes**! I wish I saw the episode… ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/48 "2004-01-27T18:07:11Z")
Color me confused (although it’s my own fault for not having actually _seen_ any of the episodes yet). Who is in on the scam, and who isn’t? (e.g. - the sex therapist) Do they show any “planning” conversations between Steve and the producers where the family and Randi are not around? How _do_ they explain the cameras for situations where Randi and Steve are not around? (This still isn’t clear to me. I’d be awful suspicious if I were the father and they were filming my “private” conversations where I might be dissing my future son-in-law.) ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/49 "2004-01-27T18:31:05Z")
I saw yesterday, but can’t find it today, a news article about how Randi was likely to lose her job over the show. Apparently, the Catholic School which gave her a leave of absence to do the show did not think that marrying for money was a way of being a good role model for students. It’s unlikely that the school would be in on a set-up. Whistlepig ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/50 "2004-01-27T22:00:17Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I can’t believe she brought him a list of stuff he needs to change, including, no kissing. > > Excuse me, Barbie, aren’t you supposed to in love with this guy? Do you think that you should make the slightest effort in front of others to feign some affection for him? Worse – remember their exchange on this subject? [paraphrased:] RANDI: “No pet names, no kissing --” STEVE: “But if we’re supposed to make people believe we’re really boyfriend and girlfriend --” RANDI: “See, that’s just it, I’m not like that!” Randi **doesn’t kiss her boyfriends?!** Either that’s a bald-faced lie, or she’s the biggest prude in the universe. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/51 "2004-01-27T22:16:52Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > Can anyone recap some highlights of last night… Fox has a recap of their own, at [http://www.fox.com/bigfat/episodes/recap\_2.htm](http://www.fox.com/bigfat/episodes/recap_2.htm). Incidentally, according fo the Fox website, last night’s episode is due to be re-run on Thursday at 9 PM Pacific Time. “Thursday at 9”. Why am I getting SCTV flashbacks here? ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/52 "2004-01-27T22:50:18Z")
I thought the people on the show (minus the 2) were under the impression that the two were on a reality show, that was conceived from another, ill-fated reality show. Or maybe just a spin-off of a not-yet released reality show. That the shrink _was_ real, but was told that these two fell head over-heals for each other, and their saga was to be documented. I tried looking on the site, but my computer is messed up. It’s difficult to do a show like this, because it gets so conveluted. If it is true, I’m sure some people were tipped off by the two people who were chosen, and the set up, that this WASN’T “The Bachelor”. Not that the guy wouldn’t be cool to hang out with, it’s just that you don’t see people like that on TV. Outside of the girl’s little circle, you wouldn’t catch such a stupid priss on other most “normal” dating shows. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/53 "2004-01-27T23:09:59Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > Outside of the girl’s little circle, you wouldn’t catch such a stupid priss on other most “normal” dating shows. Sorry, I messed up in that last sentence. I meant to say that; outside of Randi’s circle, most people wouldn’t see her as “reality show” material, unless it’s all a big joke. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/54 "2004-01-27T23:52:51Z")
Thanks, **Zazie** , I missed that part about just who was “in on it.” > [@tracer](#): > > Worse – remember their exchange on this subject? [paraphrased:] > > RANDI: “No pet names, no kissing --” > STEVE: “But if we’re supposed to make people believe we’re really boyfriend and girlfriend --” > RANDI: “See, that’s just it, I’m not like that!” > > Randi **doesn’t kiss her boyfriends?!** Either that’s a bald-faced lie, or she’s the biggest prude in the universe. Yeah, that was weird. She has to make her friends and family truly believe she loves this guy, but doesn’t want him calling her “Honey” or “Sweetie” and doesn’t want any hand-holding or even any pecks on the cheek. If she’d been paired with one of the cute guys from the first show, you can bet she’d be kissing him and calling him pet names! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/55 "2004-01-28T03:14:38Z")
> [@whistlepig](#): > > I saw yesterday, but can’t find it today, a news article about how Randi was likely to lose her job over the show. Apparently, the Catholic School which gave her a leave of absence to do the show did not think that marrying for money was a way of being a good role model for students. > > It’s unlikely that the school would be in on a set-up. > > Whistlepig _snort_ I’m SHOCKED. However, I can sort of see why her family would feel that way. If they’re not in on it, they see this really obnoxious, jerk marrying their daughter. I mean, if some guy told MY dad he couldn’t wait to get me the sack, I think my father would turn purple. And then he’d deck the guy. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/56 "2004-01-28T06:36:36Z")
Still, from that clip they showed of an interview with Randi’s mother before she met Steve – in which she said she’d basically drag Randi away to another State if she didn’t like the guy she came home with – it seems that Randi’s holier-than-thou attitude runs in the family. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/57 "2004-01-28T06:44:45Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Her behavior with sex therapist was ridiculous, and she called **him** “inappropriate” for pretending to have a sex life in the therapy session like they were **effing TOLD to do**. That’s another thing I didn’t understand. If she was so uptight about the idea of having to invent a sex life with Steve, why didn’t she just say that the two of them didn’t believe in sex before marriage? Maybe they were only seeing a “sex therapist” because they had issues about going to second base together or something. ---
**Author:** ![Rainbowthief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4bbf92/32.png) [@Rainbowthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rainbowthief)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/58 "2004-01-28T08:32:28Z")
This show has been a pleasant surprise. Fox has bungled every reality show except for the first Joe Millionaire, but this is hilarious. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one disgusted by Randi and her family for being so judgemental. I really hope her father objects at the wedding and she loses the money because she’s doing absolutely nothing to make it work. Hell, a lesbian friend of mine told me this morning that for $500,000 **she** could make her family believe that she’s in love with Steve. And what was up with Randi’s loooong pause when her friend asked her what about Steve made her fall in love? She just stared blankly for about 15-20 seconds before saying “He just swept me off my feet”. She’s supposed to love this guy enough to become his wife but she can’t think of one friggin’ reason why? ---
**Author:** ![RumMunkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@RumMunkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RumMunkey)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/59 "2004-01-28T13:40:23Z")
I think I can help with some of the confusion on this show: -Steve & Steve’s family (& the writers, producers, etc) are the **only** people in the show who are “in on it”. Randi does not know, nor does her family, nor do any of the people they have to inetract with (wedding planner, etc). They may reveal something different later, but from what the audience is told right now, that’s the set up. I get the feeling that the people might be let in on the secret after their role, though. Something the wedding planner said in her exit interview made me think she was let in on the premise _after_ her part -can’t remember what is was she said though that made me think that. -Explaining the cameras is easy. Just tell everybody “they’re from a reality-dating show”, and answer and particulars with “we can’t say under our confidentiality agreement”. Done. -They set this up well, too. From what I can figure out, they had her sign up ‘blind’ for a reality show. She wasn’t told many of the terms of the show, just that she was going to be on a relaity show. Fox then put her up in a hotel for a few weeks and left her there (presumably allowing enough time to pass so that her family would believe she was in a longer-running reality show). -Cameras with her family: They know she left to be on a ‘reality show’ (and probably told Randi was the winner), so to have a camera crew show up to tape her first call home, or her arrival home is not unexpected. They can just say “it’s footage for the reunion show”. Done. -Once her family is told about the engagement, the excuse becomes “we’re filming for a spin-off of the happy couple’s marriage”. Didn’t some show (The Bachelor, maybe? -I don’t watch many reality shows) already do this? -The editing of future episodes: Don’t forget they followed these people around for many hours, and have LOTS of footage to use. They can dig up a shocked reaction to edit next to just about anything. In the ad they’re running now, there’s the minister saying his “Does anybody object…” line, and they then show the father standing up. Watch closely, and you’ll see Randi’s father immediately turn and look down the aisle. I’m pretty sure this is the father reacting to the “Who gives this bride away?” part of the ceremony, not the “any objections” part… it’s just edited to look that way. I’m no TV executive, but personally I think they should have had Randi hook up with Steve differently. Something about “we chose _this_ slob for you” would have tipped me off. I would have had her pick him from a ‘random’ draw, or in a ‘dating game’ answer-questions-behind-that-wall kind of way (where Steve comes out no matter which guy she picks), or I would have let her pick from the handsome guys at the beginning, then thrown her Steve as a curve when her original choice was ‘fired’ from the show. That would have really thrown her for a loop! But that’s just me. Oh, and the host! WTF is that train wreck!?! I couldn’t put my finger on it, but “looks like she should be in a bad porn”, just about sums it up. My God, she’s horrible! NOT convincing as a host whatsoever! ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280/60 "2004-01-28T13:55:41Z")
> [@Rainbowthief](#): > > And what was up with Randi’s loooong pause when her friend asked her what about Steve made her fall in love? She just stared blankly for about 15-20 seconds before saying “He just swept me off my feet”. She’s supposed to love this guy enough to become his wife but she can’t think of one friggin’ reason why? Once again, no freaking kidding! She should have said something along the lines of, “He’s really different from other guys I’ve dated, but we fell in love. You just have to get to know him.” She’s supposed to make everyone believe she really loves him, and wants to marry him, but can’t think of anything nice to say about him?. If she’s doing this hoping to parlay it into an acting career, she’s got another thing coming. She’s a terrible actress. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-big-fat-obnoxious-fiance/225280.md?page=4)