# My biggest fear confirmed

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-biggest-fear-confirmed/224638>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 15, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-biggest-fear-confirmed/224638 "2004-01-15T19:44:49Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-biggest-fear-confirmed/224638/1 "2004-01-15T19:44:49Z")

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When people ask me what my greatest fear is, I’m reluctant to answer. I don’t much care for spiders, and tend to kill them in the most sadistic way possible whenever I run across one in my home. It makes sense, then, that my biggest fear is a spider doing something equally sadistic to me. I’m deathly afraid that one day I will sit down on the toilet just to have a spider, lying in wait under the rim of the toilet bowl, jump out and bite me on the dangly parts.

The response is usually something along the lines of, “What, are you crazy?”

Yeah, well, [take a look at this](http://www.canada.com/national/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=e1b4064b-73f6-4f48-9c8c-30ae382e7029):

> [@](#):
>
> It was different in the days when outhouses were commonly used in the southern States, though. Men did sometimes die when black widows, hiding inside toilets, nipped at their exposed testicles, where the lack of muscle mass and thin skin meant the venom was more readily spread into the body

I never even considered getting bit. I just didn’t like the thought of a spider crawling around on my private parts. This is ten times worse.

I’m going to go cry now.

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-biggest-fear-confirmed/224638/2 "2004-01-15T20:04:57Z")

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**"Ottawa issues tips on killing black widows in your grapes"**

Ummm…exactly what kind of “grapes” are we talking about here? :eek:

At least we don’t have to worry about [_arachnius gluteus_](http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/buttspdr.htm).

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**Author:** ![Cowgirl\_Jules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Cowgirl\_Jules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowgirl_Jules)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-biggest-fear-confirmed/224638/3 "2004-01-15T20:52:53Z")

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You probably don’t want to hear this, but I **have** seen black widows under the toilet seat in Porta-Potties. Word to the wise: _Look First!_

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**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-biggest-fear-confirmed/224638/4 "2004-01-15T22:34:55Z")

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Karma, dude. Fear of being tortured by a giant spider someday is precicely why I am good to all the little spiders I meet in my house, and merely transport them to the outdoors using a paper plate or something.

Except black widows. Any black widows I meet inside must die instantly.

I figure if I’m ever caught by a giant spider, maybe I have a chance of being let outside on a paper plate, unless it’s a black widow, and even then, I hope to be smushed instantly rather than tortured.