My bogus ticket: life as a ricer

Wow, that is a nice looking car. Doesn’t look riceresque to me. How do you like it?

-See, there was your problem. That was suspicious activity.

*The person who didn’t know the cop was there, blows through stopsigns, speeds, etc. Probably like most of us drive during the day-to-day while no officers are about.

*The person who knows the cop’s there, and doesn’t want to get pulled over, (say, because they have a kilo of uncut heroin on the passenger seat, or the last portion of the body in a trashbag in the trunk) follows every rule, makes a full and complete stop, is sure to use every signal, etc.

Buddy of mine, several years ago, was driving home after work at about 3:00 am. Doing 35 mph through town, zero traffic, all his lights and signals working, not driving errattically, hadn’t been drinking, etc. The cop pulled him over because, by doing 35- the speed limit at that point- he was driving “suspiciously slowly”.

In other words, the thought process was, the cop assumed that my buddy was thinking “Gee, I’m drunk off my ass and my license has been revoked and this truck is stolen so I’d better drive carefully so’s I don’t get pulled over”.

It’s nice actually. It handles well and stops on a dime. The ride is on the firm side of sporty. But, as a result, there is almost no body lean in corners. The seats are really nice. A normal sized human can sit in the back. It has the same performance as a 350Z for the most part. It is a little slower, but it will corner a little better. She got the six speed with the 18 inch wheels and the Brembo brakes, so I like it.

OTOH, the stereo is surprisingly tinny, really bad. It is too red. It has dual jet exhaust ports on the back that look like those resonating loud pipe tips that the import racers get. But they aren’t loud, they are for show. I think that was my undoing. When my wife brought the car home I asked her, “what can you shoot out of those things?”

Exactly. Safe driving, obeys traffic signals, new car - must be a heroin courier. Makes complete sense to me. There was a great case in Florida appellate law about the sheriff who pulled people over for “weaving within their lane.” Mostly brown people.