# My Bonnie has tuberculosis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 7, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894 "2001-10-07T04:56:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/1 "2001-10-07T04:56:31Z")
My Bonnie has only one lung She spits up a bloody solution And sometimes she chews it like gum. Just felt I had to share 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/2 "2001-10-07T05:03:54Z")
Keith wonders about shiques mental health… ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/3 "2001-10-07T05:12:13Z")
Well, MY Bonnie kissed the tender brown-eyed cow, (who gives us milk and cheese). Now she lies in the hospital, with hoof-and-mouth disease. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/4 "2001-10-07T15:19:06Z")
The way dad taught it to me: My Bonnie has tuberculosis My Bonny has only one lung By Bonnie can cough up a goober And twirl it around on her tongue ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/5 "2001-10-07T15:20:08Z")
And again, without the typos. My Bonnie has tuberculosis My Bonnie has only one lung My Bonnie can cough up a goober And twirl it around on her tongue ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/6 "2001-10-07T16:15:10Z")
My Bonnie looked into the gas tank The height of its contents to see She lighted a match to assist her Oh bring back my Bonnie to me. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/7 "2001-10-08T04:42:38Z")
Flashback to my medical microbiology class, in which we learned that the texture of the tubercles is technically referred to as “cheese-like.” Good night, everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/8 "2001-10-08T05:45:48Z")
Well my Betty has Leprosy. And is Bonnies match in every way! She can cough up her lung upon demand And had she still fingers, would twirl away. ---
**Author:** ![Darkrabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Darkrabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkrabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/9 "2001-10-08T06:26:15Z")
My Bonnie has tuberculosis My Bonnie has only one lung My Bonnie coughs up great-green oysters And twirl them around on her tongue Bring up, bring up, bring up them oysters for me, for me! Bring up, bring up, bring up them oysters for me! **DarkRabbit** ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/10 "2001-10-08T08:51:06Z")
My Bonnie, she twitches and shivers Her nose, it perpetually runs Her allergies cause her to quiver And pimples erupt on her bum! Sneeze, blow! sneeze, blow! There’s little of Bonnie to see, to see! Sneeze, blow! sneeze, blow! She’s hidden behind her hankie! (zoogirl stands up, takes a big bow, and falls over, sound asleep!) Told ya I was a poet!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/11 "2001-10-08T10:41:05Z")
Thanks. It’s not like I was gonna try and _eat_ this cup of strawberry yogurt or anything… ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/12 "2001-10-08T10:50:06Z")
ew, ew, ew, ewww, ewwww,ew,ew,ew,ew,eeeeeeew, ewwww, eeeeeewwww, ew,ew, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! that said, i haven’t laughed so hard in YEARS! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/13 "2001-10-08T15:40:06Z")
I am so, so sorry for this: My Bonnie has tugerculosis My Bonnie has only 1 lung, She spits up that bloody corruption And rolls it around on her tongue. Zette ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bonnie-has-tuberculosis/85894/14 "2001-10-08T16:41:48Z")
“My Bonnie has syphilis chancres. There’s sores from her knees to her eyes. Her ass is all crusty and festered, And oozing pus drips from her thighs.” Ah, yes. Good ol’ Army marching songs.